Have you ever been told by your sexual partner that your vagina is getting loose? A vagina usually loosens because of age or mood. Contrary to popular belief, having sex or giving birth rarely loosens the vagina because it is elastic and returns to its original form after expansion. There are several ways to tighten your vagina if you think it's getting loose, such as Kegel exercises, electrical stimulation, and surgery.

Indications of a Loose Vagina

It's difficult to know for certain if your vagina is loose because there's no such thing as a standard tightness or size. Your sexual partner might complain that your vagina is loose, but another person might not have the same opinion. There are, however, some indications that your vagina is becoming loose, such as:

• You need to insert larger objects into your vagina to feel stimulation.
• You're having difficulty gripping your index finger with your vagina.

• Your vagina does not completely close when you're not aroused.
• You can insert three or more fingers into your vagina with little or no resistance.
• You have to work harder to reach orgasm than before.
• You can't satisfy your partner like you used to.

Some Myths and Facts About Loose Vaginas

In many cases, women aren't really aware that their vaginas are loose until their partners tell them. They then feel depressed and embarrassed that they can't satisfy their partners anymore. Before you try to tighten your vagina though, you should learn the common myths about loose vagina and sex.

Myth 1: Being tight is always a good thing.

Fact: Being tight isn't always a good thing, at least not for the woman. When a woman is aroused, her vagina naturally loosens as the cervix pulls up to allow for comfortable penetration. This means that you should be looser during penetration, not tighter. In fact, if your partner feels that you are tight during penetration, this is a good indication that you're not ready for penetration, or you simply do not want to have sex. Lubrication is also less when you're not aroused, making your vagina dry and tight.

Myth 2: If your vagina is loose, it means you've had lots of sex recently.

Fact: The vagina is a muscular tube that conforms to whatever is inside it. When there's nothing inside the vagina, its walls touch each other, so it is closed in on itself. Your vagina may remain in its aroused state immediately after sex, but it will return to its tight state shortly. Having sex doesn't decrease the muscle tone of your vagina. Sex should increase the muscle tone of your vagina since this is a form of exercise. You can have sexual intercourse every day for a year and it still wouldn't change a thing (Put some thrill in your sex life, know the four places to have sex). Similarly, abstaining from sex for a long time doesn't make your vagina tighter. The only thing that makes your vagina tighter is your state of arousal.

Myth 3: Penetration and childbirth causes permanent changes in the vagina.

Fact: The vagina changes its size as it accommodates the object inside it, then it returns to its original size prior to penetration. Even childbirth results in very few changes to the vagina, if any at all. Noticeable changes may only occur if there's serious tearing after an episiotomy, a surgical procedure in which an incision is made through the perineum to enlarge the vagina during childbirth. Since the average penis is nowhere near the size of a full-term baby, penetration also doesn't loosen the vagina.

Myth 4: All men like it tight.

Fact: Most women have the assumption that all men like a tight vagina. In reality, there are men who prefer a slightly loose vagina because it allows for harder thrusting and faster sex. Also, a tight vagina indicates that the woman is not sufficiently aroused, so this can come with too much dryness. While some men prefer a tight and dry vagina, others derive little or no pleasure at all from this. Another underplayed factor in the tightness of a vagina is the size of the penis that penetrates it. If your partner's penis is significantly below the average size, then both of you will have more difficulty producing friction and pleasure during intercourse.

How to Tighten Your Vagina

One way to tighten your vagina during sex is to avoid too much arousal, but this is not recommended since you will not enjoy sex. Don't sacrifice your own sexual experience just because you want to satisfy your partner. There are other ways to tighten your vagina, including the following.

• Kegel Exercises: Learn how to do kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles located in the pelvic floor, which is the hammock that holds pelvic organs in place (Tips on how to do kegel exercises). They increase sexual pleasure by making pelvic muscles stronger and more elastic. They can also improve your bladder tone, so you don't always leak urine. The best thing about them is that you can do them any time and anywhere without anyone knowing. Here's how you do Kegel exercises:

• • Step 1: As you're lying or sitting down, try to contract the muscles you use to stop urinating. You should feel the muscles squeezing your anus and urethra. You're not exercising the right muscles if your buttocks or stomach tighten.
  • Step 2: Once you've found the right muscles to contract, squeeze for three seconds, and then relax for another three seconds.
  • Step 3: Repeat the exercise 10 to 15 times per session, and do this at least three times a day. Remember that Kegel exercises only work when they are done regularly. It could take eight to 10 weeks before you notice any improvement. Kegel exercises get more effective as you do them more frequently.
  Consult your doctor if you feel like you're not doing the exercises correctly. He or she may recommend doing the exercises with biofeedback, which measures muscle tension and conveys information in real-time, so you know if you're doing the exercises right.

• Vaginal cones: These are weighted devices about the size of tampons that you put into your vagina for a period of time. A set of vaginal cones increases gradually in weight. Start with the lightest cone, insert it into your vagina, and then squeeze your muscles to hold it in place. Do this twice a day for about 15 minutes per session while doing your regular activities. Move on to the next heavier cone when you've successfully held the first one in place, and then work your way up to the heaviest.
• Neuromuscular Electrical Stimulation (NMES): In this method, a probe that generates electric current is placed inside the vagina. The electric current stimulates the muscles of the pelvic floor, causing them to contract and relax. NMES is performed every one to four days, and lasts for about 20 minutes per session. Treatment can last for weeks or longer, depending on the situation. Some health care providers allow you to perform these sessions in their offices, while others prescribe home treatment.

• Neocontrol: Neocontrol is a special chair that generates magnetic fields to stimulate pelvic muscles. It is usually administered by a nurse or technician in a urologist's office. Each session lasts for 20 to 30 minutes and is done twice a week for about eight weeks.
• Manjakani or Oak Gall: Oak galls come from oak trees indigenous to Persia and Asia Minor. They are produced when leaves of the oak tree are penetrated by wasps. The resulting chemical reaction stimulates the leaves to produce a round hard ball called an oak gall. Oak galls have strong astringent properties that can supposedly tighten and firm up the muscles of the vaginal wall. It is said that they can restore elasticity and improve muscle tone, as well as reduce foul vaginal discharge.

• Vaginoplasty: Vaginoplasty is a surgical procedure that restores the muscle tone of the vagina, and tightens the vaginal canal. The surgeon removes excess lining on the vaginal wall to restore muscle tone. He also repairs soft tissues to decrease the diameter of the vagina.
Scalpels and lasers can be used to treat structural defects and tighten muscles. The procedure is usually fairly bloodless, and done on an outpatient basis. The surgeon also administers a local anesthesia, and you should be able to walk right after the procedure. The great thing about this is that you can resume your normal daily activities in just a few days. Your doctor though will probably recommend that you abstain from sex, use tampons, or douche for at least six weeks. Expect some mild swelling and light bleeding in the first 24 hours after the procedure. Any bruising or swelling should lessen or disappear within a day or two.

Whatever treatment you choose, make sure that you're doing it not only for your partner, but also for yourself. Your goal shouldn't be just to satisfy your sexual partner, but for you to also have a pleasurable and satisfying sexual experience. Keep in mind that sex is not all about penetration. It's a whole body experience that must be shared between you and your partner.