It is a well-established fact that a lack of sex drive in people is one of the more common contributors to failed marriages or relationships. If you’re going to ask divorced people why such a promising partnership ended in failure, many will probably say that “the excitement’s not there” or “it just wasn’t as fun as it used to be.” Sex is essentially one of the more important parts of a healthy relationship, especially in today’s society, and a lack of it will undoubtedly lead to a marked decrease in a relationship’s staying power.

It is especially hard for women since, by and large, the cause for their lack of sexual drive can be a lot more complicated than that with men. Women are generally more into the emotional side of things, much more so than men, and this can comprise a huge part of their decreasing sexual activity. With men, it is usually pretty much a cut-and-dry thing; the reasons for a man’s loss of sex drive leading to erectile dysfunction are almost always confined to several reasons. For women, you really have to dig deeper to try and treat the problem.

Female sexual dysfunction is not an uncommon condition. As many as four out of every ten women suffer from at least one sexual concern in their lives. So if you’re a woman and you’re afraid that you’re pretty much alone in this, don’t be concerned because you’re not. For a condition to be classified as a female sexual dysfunction, though, it should be severe enough that it’s affecting your relationship with your partner or you yourself are becoming alarmed by it. Like most any functions of the human body, there will be times when your libido does go low, decreasing your sex drive, but this should not be an indication that you’re suffering from a sexual dysfunction.

Causes

When does it become classified as a female sexual dysfunction? Medical experts say that in order for you to officially be sexually dysfunctional, you have to experience one or several of the following conditions and be personally distressed because of it. That means that you have to be aware that the condition is becoming a problem, either for you or for your partner. The conditions are: 1) your sexual desire is low or non-existent; 2) you can’t maintain your arousal for long, or you don’t get aroused at all, despite your desire for sex; 3) you can’t achieve orgasm; and 4) there is pain during sexual intercourse.

Although there are varying reasons why a woman would lose her sexual drive, oftentimes, the reasons tend to intertwine. It can also be causative; one reason causes another reason, which in turn is the main cause of the condition, effectively causing some sort of domino effect. The three main factors that contribute to women’s sexual dysfunction are the following:

• Physical – Physical factors include ailments such as arthritis, constant headache, diabetes, and fatigue. Pain problems are also a big physical factor, since pain diverts your attention from any erotic or romantic feelings needed for you to achieve arousal. Certain medications (like contraceptive pills or antidepressants) can also lower your sexual drive, especially your ability to achieve orgasm.

• Hormonal – Certain things or events can cause you to have lower hormone levels than needed for adequate sexual responsiveness. During menopausal transition, for example, your estrogen levels lower, leading to changes in your genital tissues. Your labia (the skin folds covering your genital region) shrink and thin down, exposing a lot of your clitoris. When this happens, your clitoris may lose some of its sensitivity or it may cause a rather unpleasant prickling sensation. The vagina also becomes narrower. For those who are not particularly sexually active, this becomes much more evident. A decrease of estrogen also means that lubrication and natural swelling of your vagina decreases, leading to uncomfortable sexual activity, especially if there is no foreplay. Orgasm may take longer, or may not take place at all.

While hormonal reasons can be a cause of sexual dysfunction, most women really don’t have any problems with sexual activities and intimacy during and even after menopausal transition.

• Psychological – Like men suffering from erectile dysfunction, psychological causes are a large cause of female sexual dysfunction. Emotional difficulties like stress or excessive anxiety are particular culprits, especially a repressed history of sexual abuse. You can also factor in insecurity, either due to your view of your own body or that of your partner’s. You may also feel tired with your whole relationship with your partner, which usually puts a damper on sex. Also, after pregnancy, you might find your sexual drive particularly low, which will further be exacerbated by the fact that you will have a whole new responsibility now, and will have less time for sex. Finally, while not especially common, cultural and religious factors may also affect your views on sex, unconsciously affecting your sexual drive.

Treatment

Fortunately, while the reasons for this condition are interrelated and multi-faceted, female sexual dysfunction is treatable. Depending on the root cause, there are several things you can do to address and get rid of sexual dysfunction.

Identify the root cause of your loss of sexual drive. As mentioned, there are three main factors for having sexual dysfunction. All three of them require a markedly different method of treatment so you will have to know which one is the real cause of your condition. Try to consult a professional; a therapist will help you dig to the root of your problem. Once you’ve basically pinpointed the exact root of your problem, you can start attacking it.

Keep an open communication line. One of the most important things for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, sexual or otherwise, is an open line of communication. Most psychological problems that cause female sexual dysfunction can be fixed by just talking with your partner and being open with them. If your sex life has gone stale and sapped your sexual energy, then propose a change of sex habits; experiment with new things. An open line of communication can really set the stage for some grand sexual intimacy you may have never imagined with your partner before. If you and your partner are at a road block in your sexual life, communicating your ideas can help.

Change your lifestyle for the better. Stop smoking and lessen your alcohol intake, if you are into those things. Make exercising a daily habit and make sure that you take the time off to relax and relieve stress. Consuming too much alcohol has the effect of blunting your sexual drive, while cigarette smoking restricts blood flow to your sexual organs, leading to a decrease in orgasm and sexual arousal. Aerobics and yoga can uplift and improve your mood, letting you focus more on sexual experiences, heightening your arousal.

Exercise your pelvic muscles. Exercises for your pelvic muscles can help with any problems you might have regarding arousal and orgasm. For example, Kegel exercises help strengthen the muscles needed for pleasurable sexual sensations. A Kegel exercise can be done by holding and tightening your pelvic muscles, much like how you’re trying to hold in urine. Count until five, then release. Do this several times.

Seek counseling. Sex counselors and therapists can help you with any sexual problems, regardless of whether they’re psychologically rooted or not. The therapist may ask questions about your current sex life, sexual response, and sexual techniques you and your partner have been doing. You and your partner can go over everything and find out what you both lack, and several things you can do to address these issues.