It sounds weird, but every time you see someone’s foot being tickled, you feel a stirring within you. Even though the act is pretty innocent, you feel a strange sexual attraction towards it. It’s uncontrollable, and you feel it slowly taking over you.
No, you’re not going crazy. You just have a fetish. Many people have this condition, where they associate arousal when they see a particular object or act. A fetish can come in different forms, and it can be over a body part, an object, a feeling or an action. As long as it’s properly controlled, it’s considered normal.
A fetish isn’t harmful, but if gets out of hand, it can be trouble. It’ll drive you and your sex life. Soon, it will also drive away the people close to you. You don’t have to deal with a fetish all your life. If you think it’s about time to get rid of it, then here are a few effective ways to do it.
When Does A Fetish Becomes Dangerous?
Having a fetish nowadays is considered typical, so many think there’s no reason to get rid of it. Some even think it adds spice to their sex life. (For more information visit MonsterGuide and learn how to spice up a relationship) Even so, there are certain cases when the fetish inhibits the person so much that keeping it becomes a serious and embarrassing condition, more than it gives sexual gratification. It’s important to know whether your fetish dilemma is grave or just normal before you start trying to shake it off.
Here are a few signs of a dangerous fetish that you have to get rid of.
- It’s all you ever think about. It makes you lose your concentration, and you start performing poorly at work or school because of it.
- It comes up at random moments. Even when you’re not thinking about anything arousing, it comes to your mind. For example, you see a pair of ladies shoes, which then leads you to thinking about your foot fetish.
- It’s ruining your relationship. You’re starting to drive your romantic partner crazy because of it, leading to arguments, misunderstandings and awkwardness during sex. For example, you’ve got a fetish for women who wears boots, so whenever you and your girlfriend or wife goes to bed, you urge her to wear a pair, even if she hates it.
- It’s affecting you financially. You find front women posing on magazine covers (even those in teen magazines) arousing, so every time you see one, you’ll immediately buy it.
If you experience one or two of these symptoms, then you’ve got to find a way to get rid of your fetish. Here are some ways how.
Tame Your Mind
Nothing fuels a fetish worse than always keeping it in mind. You retain and stay attracted to a fetish because you constantly think about it. Even if it’s not there in front of you, as long as it lingers in your brain, you’ll be continuously drawn to it.The first step to shake off your fetish is to keep it from going to your head. Control your thoughts and don’t think about it anymore. The more you dwell on it, even if you don’t acually see it, the more difficult it’ll be to shoo away. Tame your mind to stay away from those fetish thoughts. When you master proper mind control, you’ll be able to say goodbye to that fetish dilemma.
Oftentimes, doing it isn’t as easy as saying it. If you’re struggling hard to keep the perverted fetish from your head, here are a few tactics you can try:
- Meditate. Allot a few hours a day to meditate and clear and relax your mind. You can also try a mind-clearing exercise, like yoga, to help your mind keep its focus.
- Get busy. If you’re busy thinking about more important stuff, then that fetish will have a hard time fitting in your mind. Busy yourself with work or school. If you’ve got some free time, spend it by going out on dates, traveling or even by learning a new hobby or doing an extreme sport. Have fun, but in a non-sexual way.
- Socialize. Go to parties, join clubs and meet up with friends. When you’ve got people around to chat with and entertain you, it’ll be difficult to keep thinking about your fetish.
Stop The Habit
Let’s say you’ve got a fetish for women who wear stilettos while making love. You find it so arousing that every time you sleep with a woman, you ask her to keep the stilettos on. It’s become such an addiction, you’ve made it into a sexual routine you can’t get out of. If you don’t have it, you can’t make love properly.
There’s one way to stop this: try the cold turkey technique. Stop the habit completely, all at once. It doesn’t mean you have to stay away from having intercourse completely, just from the fetish acts. For example, if you find foot-tickling so arousing, try not to do it anymore. If you’ve got a fetish for diapers (heterosexual men often have this), stop using them when you’re having intercourse. Instead, find a new sex technique that you and your partner find kinky. It’s a good opportunity for you to explore your adventurous side.
One crucial part of breaking the habit is making sure you stay away from all things that remind you of it. Purge your space of anything that reminds you of your fetish. If you’ve got a stiletto fetish, take out all your girlfriend’s stilettos that you keep in your room. You should also try to reduce using pornographic materials (videos and magazines), since these can also remind you of your fetish. Stay away from anything and everything that triggers your unusual arousal.
Breaking a fetish habit can be difficult for the first few days, but as soon as you get used to it, you can stay away from it completely and getting over it will be a cinch.
Confide In Someone
No matter how confident or brave a person is, dealing with a fetish is never an easy experience. Even admitting out loud that you have a fetish (especially if it’s a perverted kind) can be embarrassing. You have to admit that you can’t get rid of this habit all by yourself. You need to find someone you can trust to draw your strength from.
Confide your fetish dilemma to someone close to you. It can be your sibling, your parents or your best friend. The person should be someone you trust, and someone who can keep a secret. Talk about your strange dilemma with him. If that person really cares for you, he or she will listen and will not judge you. You can also ask for some sound advice from him or her.
If you’re in a relationship, your partner must be one of the few people who knows about your strange arousal. Discuss the dilemma between the two of you. One way or the other, it probably affects him or her, physically, mentally and sexually. Talk about what makes you feel comfortable and what doesn’t and hash out ways on how you can overcome this problem together. Knowing you’ve got his or her support will inspire you to get rid of and stay away from the fetish.
Consult A Professional
Sometimes a fetish becomes the worst addiction a person can have, and this can turn out badly. If you think your fetish is already inhibiting you negatively and that you think no distraction can cure it, there’s one solution you can turn to: go to a counselor, therapist or psychiatrist for a consultation. Having a professional hear about your fetish is a good idea when trying to get rid of it. He or she will listen carefully and give you proper advice and recommendations that’ll help you deal with the problem greatly. If you need to, the counselor will also suggest a variety of treatments you can try, including:
- Cognitive Therapy
This treatment works on the idea that a fetish results from imprinting or conditioning. It works by changing the patient’s behavior without having to analyze how and why it came. One example of cognitive therapy is aversive conditioning. The patient is confronted with the fetish, and when the arousal begins, he is exposed to something that causes a displeasing stimulus. In the early times, painful stimuli were used, like electric shocks. Today, abominable odors and unpleasant photographs like those showing penned in genitals are used
Another type of cognitive therapy technique is thought stop. The patient is asked to think of his fetish, then the therapist interrupts suddenly by saying “stop!”. The patient’s line of thought is broken and he is irritated. The therapist then examines the effects of the sudden break, and teach the person how to use the technique to interrupt fetish thoughts.
This treatment operates on the belief that a fetish occurs when there’s an unconscious traumatic experience in the individual. This trauma is brought to consciousness, allowing the patient to work it up and relieve himself emotionally and rationally from it. Although psychoanalysis is rarely used, it is believed to be effective. Examples of this method include dream analysis, talk therapy and play therapy.
Along with psychoanalysis or cognitive therapy, prescription drugs are sometimes prescribed by professionals, including those that inhibit sex steroid production. When this is reduced, sexual desire is also diminished, and the person is more able to control his fetish by processing his own thoughts and preventing himself from being distracted by sexual arousal.
Having a fetish is not a bad thing, but when it gets out of control, that’s when it must be stopped. If you have this dilemma, try these techniques. Soon, all that arousal will leave you and your mind will be lighter and free from those perverse thoughts. If you enjoyed reading this article, you’ll sure enjoy reading how to get rid of porn addiction.
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