How to Get Rid of Cookies

Maybe baking day got out of hand, or perhaps an odd cousin won the lottery and bought everyone a year’s supply of cookies. Whatever the reason, there are just too many cookies. Don’t panic, take a deep breath and read on. This article will explore how to get rid of cookies.

1. Donate the cookies.

One way to get rid of an excess of cookies would be to donate them. Food banks or shelters help those less fortunate, and it will provide them with a special little treat to provide their patrons. Check with the organization ahead of time, as some prefer to only stock healthier foods.

2. Sell the cookies.

Selling the cookies is a great way to get rid of them and make some money in the process. Bake sales are almost as old as the invention of sugar and have been used by individuals and organizations alike to raise funds.

Maybe a food bank or shelter does not accept certain types of food, but they all accept money. Why not sell the cookies and donate the money?

3. Get creative with some cookie games.

As many cookies as possible have been sold, but there is still a pile of sweets taking up space. Why not use them for games? At the next family get together have some cookie-centered competitions. Look up some games online ahead of time to plan everything. It would also be advisable to hold these games outside to avoid a huge mess on the floor.
The event was a great success and everyone had fun with the games. Now it’s time to hand out the prizes – cookies!

4. Eat the cookies.

Finally we come to the obvious, and what some might call the most selfless way to get rid of cookies. It is not for the faint of heart. It may be time to take a hit for the team, preventing others from sugar comas and sugar related illnesses. Yes, it is time to eat the cookies.

Be aware though, each cookie should be paired with the correct beverage; much the same as pairing certain foods with certain wines.

For harder, drier cookies like biscotti, a cup of coffee is recommended. The heat of the coffee is a secondary factor in helping the liquid soften the cookie a little before that succulent bite. Be sure that the cookie chosen is not too sweet. A sip of coffee right after a mouthful of something really sweet can seem quite bitter and feel like an assault on the senses. Unless the combination of bitter and sweet is craved, then a really sugary cookie might just be able to provide the rush desired.

For very plain cookies, which are lacking in flavor, some choose juice will do the job nicely. Fruit juices come in a variety of flavors and colors, and can add a pleasing aftertaste to an otherwise mundane cookie.

Be careful to avoid the foolish mistake made by those who don’t think ahead– pairing juice with any old cookie at all. This is a preschooler frame of mind. Setting juice before a guest and then laying out an assortment of cream or jam filled delicacies is simply unforgivable.
Teas, normally reserved for biscuits and scones, compliment a variety of cookies. It really depends on the tea being served. Some of the more bitter teas like Earl Grey would go quite well with the same cookies as are paired with coffee. A regular run of the mill tea such as orange pekoe would go nicely with sweeter cookies.

Do not be afraid to experiment a little with tea and cookie pairing. And if in doubt, set out a variety of tea choices and let the guest choose. Then they have no one but themselves to blame if the tea contradicts the flavor of the cookie.

Which brings us to the Riesling or Chenin of the cookie world. When in doubt, break out the milk!

Milk is such a versatile drink. It has the ability to cut the sweetness of really sugary cookies; it can bring a little pick-me-up to the really plain and mundane cookies; and can soften the dry ones.

When it comes to cookies, milk really is a jack-of-all-trades. For the lactose intolerant, do not despair; there are lactose free milk alternatives. Keeping some milk on hand for unexpected visitors to have with their cookie is a smart move.

5. Know the fundamentals of cookie eating.

So what about the mechanics of getting rid of cookies by consumption?

One of the oldest time tested traditions of cookie eating is to dunk a cookie in a drink before biting off a sweet morsel and savoring the blend of cookie and liquid all melting down over the taste buds with each joyous clench of the jaw muscles.

Take care not to leave a cookie in the liquid too long, as this will result in the cookie becoming too soggy and breaking off in the glass or cup. The amount of time will vary from cookie to cookie.

Etiquette tip: not everyone has mastered the art of timing a dunk. Always place spoons with each setting. Then those less skilled can avoid the embarrassment of calling attention to themselves when asking for a spoon to fish their cookie out of the cup.

With cream, chocolate, peanut butter, or some other filling nestled between two firmer layers, sandwich cookies can present a variety of enjoyment options.

6. Follow good cookie etiquette.

These cookies also bring with them their own unique set of etiquette rules that vary from region to region. Here are some general guidelines for the various methods – keep in mind that the dunk can be added at any point during these methods.

Regular cookie method: A sandwich cookie can be left intact and eaten like any normal cookie. This is best done when sharing a meal or dessert with strangers. When in a formal setting, it is best to err on the side of caution and also avoid the dunk.

Perhaps the preferred method, and arguably the most common, is the twist. All methods that follow are some variation of the twist.

Divide and conquer method: twist apart the cookie and eat the top layer first. Then eat the bottom layer with the filling on it. The top layer is considered to be the one that comes away from the twist without the filling attached, regardless of its North/South location.
This method is somewhat less formal than the Regular cookie method. It is usually okay to use with acquaintances and coworkers.

Excavation method: after a successful separation of top and bottom, the filling layer is removed by use of a utensil. The outer layers are then rejoined. At this point one must choose to consume the filling first or the outer layers.

This method is generally acceptable around extended family, such as grandparents and cousins. Fun grandparents and close friends will not mind if the filling is eaten right off of the bottom layer – without any utensils! It should be noted that some parents frown upon the excavation. If this is so, then be careful not to do it in front of tattle prone siblings.

Lick’em and stick’em: first comes the separation, then comes the great sugary explosion of running the filling over the tongue, before sticking the two parts back together. Considered over the top by many, this method should be reserved for when eating with very close friends, or very laidback relatives.

7. Avoid the cookie monster.

At this point some ask, “What about Cookie Monster, couldn’t he help get rid of cookies?”
This was intentionally ignored, and his contact information deleted. Though he is effective in reducing the number of cookies in any given location, he creates a frightful mess, in addition to consuming many gallons of milk.

Then to make matters worse, he becomes clingy and will invade your life at all hours of the day and night in the hopes of scoring more cookies. It is not recommended to contact him, not even as a last resort. If you do locate his number and call him over, don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Whether donating, selling, gaming, or eating it is important to remember not to panic. How to get rid of cookies may not be a problem you are often faced with, but it is good for everyone to have a plan just in case!

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Nicole Harding

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