Have you noticed that you seem to like yourself more than the average person? You think you’re the bee’s knees. The greatest thing since sliced bread. You can do no wrong.
You are the center of your own universe, the portal to perfection. You pity those around you because they are hopeless to meet your level of excellence.
Perhaps you simply see yourself as a confident person or someone with high self-esteem, but those around you think otherwise.
People around you are getting tired of your stuck-up attitude. Your friends are tired of being late for events because you’re too busy staring at yourself in the mirror to get going.
Sure, confidence is great, but when self-absorption and high self-esteem have gone excessively far, this is known as narcissism. Excessive self-admiration can sometimes develop into a psychiatric disorder entitled narcissistic personality disorder.
Being a narcissist is not ideal. It pushes people away, ruins relationships, and is an overall unhealthy attitude. Here are some steps to help you get rid of narcissism, and get on the right path toward a humble existence.
1. Signs of Narcissism
Are you narcissistic, or just high in confidence? There’s nothing wrong with being confident. In fact, if you’re among the low percentage of people with high self-esteem, consider yourself lucky.
However, if your outlook on yourself surpasses confidence alone and pushes its way into a category of self-absorption or self-obsession, you may have a problem. Here are some signs of narcissism:
Excessive self-love or an obsessive love of your appearance, little empathy/value for other people, using others for your own benefit, with no ability to show emotion of care or concern for them, arrogant or obnoxious behavior, and a tendency to brag about yourself all of the time.
If these signs ring true to your behavior, you’re likely suffering from this disorder. Here’s how to make a change.
2. Admit that you have a Problem
One of the best ways to humble yourself down is to admit that you have a problem—both to yourself and to others.
Tell those around you that you’ve recognized your narcissistic behavior, and you want to make a change. They will appreciate the fact that you’ve finally come to terms with reality.
Ask those you love for some help. Let them know that you’re open to criticism, and you want them to help you get a grip.
Tell them to give you a friendly reminder to stop with your narcissistic behavior each time it occurs. You may have difficulty recognizing when you are acting this way, so having someone you trust point it out to you will help to train your future behavior.
It will also help to say you’re sorry to those you’ve hurt in the past with this outrageous behavior. There is nothing more humbling than a sincere apology.
3. Know the Consequences
Think about who you are today, and where your current behavior may lead you. Ponder the potential consequences of the way you are acting.
If you hold yourself on too high of a level, if you fall, you’re going to fall hard. If you can’t accept the fact that you’re not perfect, even the smallest mistake could be utterly devastating.
You may also find yourself completely alone if you continue this behavior. Other people are attracted to kindness and empathy, characteristics not typically found in narcissists. Those around you will tire of your self-absorption rather quickly, and may result in cutting off all ties with you.
Use these potential consequences as motivation to become the person you want to be.
4. Get a Grip on Reality
No one is perfect—not even you. Think about it. You’ve made mistakes, and you’ve learned from them just like everybody else. Sure, you’re a special person, but that doesn’t make you any better than those around you.
Take a hard look at yourself. Are you spewing out excessive confidence in order to hide the fact that you’re truly unhappy?
Narcissism often reflects some form of denial. Your job is to recognize that you’re not as perfect as you think you are. Train your mind to humble down by recognizing that you’re imperfect. Face your insecurities, and stop trying to block them out with over-confident behavior.
Accepting imperfection in yourself and others will make all the difference in the world.
5. Focus on What’s Important
It’s time for you to stop focusing on yourself, and bring your attention to the more important things in life.
With your own wants aside, decide what’s important to you. What do you support? What do you believe in? What do you want out of life?
Keep yourself busy with things that have nothing to do with your selfish desires. Volunteer, spend more time with family, or create something you’ll be proud of.
Even if you don’t like doing these things at first, fake it till you make it. Soon enough, you’ll realize what humble self-confidence feels like, and it will feel great.
There is no doubt that the joy you will receive from engaging in these activities will far surpass “any” joy your narcissistic behavior brought to your life. Getting rid of narcissism does not have to be a difficult process!
6. See a Professional
As said before, narcissistic behavior often means there is a bigger issue taking place. You may not realize what’s causing you to act this way. So, seeing a professional psychiatrist could help you get to the root of the problem.
Your psychiatrist can help you recognize what it is you are suffering from (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or pathological narcissism), and deal with the problem accordingly.
It will be difficult for someone like you to admit that they need help, but it is important to realize that all of us need a little bit of help once in a while. There is no shame in reaching out for a helping hand. Seeking the advice of a professional could help you to conquer inner demons that you didn’t even know existed.
Making a change will be tough, but you must realize that it’s only healthy to make mistakes in order to get in touch with your humanity. As much as you don’t want to believe it, we all make mistakes. Unless you want to lead a lonely and selfish life, you have to find a way to plant your feet firmly on the ground, and keep them there. Yes, self-confidence is good, but you must put an end to using excessive self-love as an excuse to treat others poorly. Keep your self-absorption in check, and stay humble. Good luck getting rid of your narcissism! Many have done so before you: it is certainly possible.