Love And Relationships

How to Get Rid of Your Virginity… Guys!

All the guys are pointing at you dismissively and playfully punching their buddies on the shoulder, each mocking you by prancing about like a big sissie. Not so as you can see them, of course, but you’re sure they’re doing it. You know it because they all know you’re still a virgin. You radiate virginity. “Loser!”

You’re thinking, “what am I doing wrong? I’ve heard the news on the BBC say that by the time British boys are 15, a quarter of them have lost their virginity. Come on, they’re Brits, for gosh sakes! I’m a red-blooded American, and I’m 19. Why can’t I get seduced and get rid of this lousy condition? What is wrong with me?!

There, there, take it easy, pal. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your problem may be that you’re defective – not in charm or looks, but in your technique. Well, we’re here to help you remedy that problem. Just follow our directions, and you’ll be okay in no time.

A Prerequisite to Success: To Do This Thing, You’ll Need a Partner

1. First step, find a girl or, if you swing that way, a boy. But, for the sake of keeping the pronouns simple, let’s say that you’re a guy looking for a girl (though everything we write here also applies to boys… if you swing that way). This girl can be homely or beautiful, short or tall, smart or dumb, rich or poor, hither or yon, but she must have one particular quality: she’s got to be easy. Nowadays, girls with this quality are not difficult to find if you look in all the right places.

2. Once you have spotted the girl, you must learn a bit about her so that you can more easily open a conversation and flatter her. That’s important. Write it down: girls love flattery. It makes no difference how outrageous it is, they believe it and love it.

You can get some useful background information about her by hiring a detective to tail her (expensive), going through her garbage to see what magazines she subscribes to (messy), watching her from a distance (requires investing in binoculars and also runs the risk of arrest as a stalker), tapping into her phone (not good if the NSA already has her phone tapped), or getting your friends to go through her garbage (they’ll refuse). So, you are at a dead end; getting background on her is out, and you’re just going to have to wing it. That’s okay, because you don’t have time for background investigations anyway. You’ve got to strike while your iron is hot and bothered.

The Art of the Pickup

3. You are going to have to march right up to her and hit her with a great opening line, what is known in the business as a “pick-up line.” There are good and bad pick-up lines. “Hi, I’m Able N. Willing, single, a virgin, and smitten by your charms” is a pickup line. The words are, no doubt, the truth; but write this down: All that telling the truth is guaranteed to accomplish is to set you free. You don’t want to be set free. You want a partner. So that is a bad pick-up line.

A good pick-up line: “I love your hair. It frames your face perfectly.” This may or may not be true. Either way, it’s flattery, and what do girls love? That’s right! Onward!

4. Ask her where she’s from, what kind of work she does, blah blah blah, the usual small talk. (Don’t ask her what her sign is; she will be embarrassed if she doesn’t know.) After no more than an hour of this kind of chitchat, ask her out.

5. Tell her what you intend to do on your date – go to a good restaurant (name it) and a show – but, for God’s sake, don’t tell her what you’re intending to do afterward. If she accepts, terrific! If not, well, even a good salesman closes only 10% of his pitches, and a great baseball player fails to get on base 70% of the time. Get over the rejection and move on to your next potential conquest.

But let’s say you’re successful. Come the evening of the date, be prepared for getting lucky. Carry a condom or two. After all, she may not have any.

6. After the dinner and show, play it by ear. Drive her to her house, show her to the door, and go for the goodnight kiss. If she likes you, she will kiss you back. If she is eager to get carnal on you, she will give you a sign, such as wresting you to the ground, sticking her tongue down your throat as far as your liver, and then wresting you through the door. Ta-dahhhh! Mission accomplished.

Things Don’t Always Go Perfectly on the First Date

If, however, she likes you but is not carnal, try making another date. She may want to go a little slow because she’s interested in something more than a one-night stand with you. A lot of girls are that way. It’s irksome, we know, but realize this: you’re not going to get your way if she doesn’t get her way.

Yes, time to wake up, fellow. You are no longer the pursuer if, indeed, you ever were. You have taken on another title: Putty in Her Hands. That’s right. She’s in charge. But then, she always was, and you just never knew it. Why? Because you’re a male. (Tips on how to know if a girl likes you)

On one of these dates, maybe with this girl, maybe with another, your quest will be, shall we say?, consummated. Now, danger lurks. You may find you like your new non-virgin status, so much so that you keep dating this girl (if she lets you). You may find yourself falling in love. You may find yourself getting married. You may find yourself living in a suburban home with 1.5 children, a car in the driveway, and a colossal mortgage. And the days go by, water flowing underground.

Real life has ensnared you. But you’ll always remember that first time. If you learned a lot reading from this article, time for you to read its counterpart; how to get rid of virginity…for girls.

Resources:

  • Concerned about being a virgin at your age? Just be thankful you don’t live in South Africa. Hanne Blank.com, “Virgins on the Cutting Room Floor,”
  • How to Have More Social Success, “Being A Male Virgin After High-School Isn’t The End Of The WorldM”
  • Listen to how Eddie Izzard lost his virginity – or did he? There may be a couple of rude words here, but with his English accent, it’s hard to tell.

Click here for more information about how to get rid of your virginity… guys!

About the author

Nicole Harding

30 Comments

  • Actually that article is just sleezy. I’ve had a number of girl friends and each one I intended to have an actual relatioship with. Not just chat and flatter her for the sake of sleeping with her. That’s really short sighted and non-survival long term. Find a nice sane girl you admire, get into communication with her, ask her out and create a real relatioship. The rest follows naturally. If you keep in mind the goal of the realtionship is more important than the act of sex.

  • I agree. Having a relationship is not all about having sex. You have to actually like the person and make a good relationship; but remember, if the two of you have in fact… done it, and broken up, you know that it will be hard facing each other in the face ‘just as friends’. If you see each other walking down a street, you WILL feel uncomfortable. Make every relationship memorable in a good way, rather than a sexual way.

  • im 20, havnt had sex before, its more or less destroying me, from the inside out, (seriously it feel like i have a hugh gaping painful hole in my chest, though i know its just a mental “bonus” im used to it though as its been there for years)

    but from my point of view, though this text is sleezy, its still a good start, loosing the virginity, is the goal, sex is the only way to do that, and if you cant even get sex, getting a girl friend sounds as easy as getting a neanderthal to land a spacecraft. (i should know)

    on the other hand, the article isnt helpful at all (for me atleast) it gives you the “hint” that girls like flattery, but when thats the only tool in your toolbox, well… even if your able to stop shaking for long enough to say something, loud enough and slow enough for her to hear it, theres a good chance she will pretty quickly start wondering why you are kissing her ass like that, and if the conversation gets going theres always the chance that you will be talking about things that interested you, but since your a guy they will probably be boring to her.

    with that said, theres also all the mental things to battle.
    Your feeling of being inferior becouse your a virgin (have that1, its a real killer, especially if there are other guys around that are interested in her, iv lost quite a few girls becouse of it =( ).
    Your fear that you wont be good enough when it comes to it (dont have that 1, thank god).
    Your disbelief in the fact that she is still talking to you (while that doesnt sound so bad, it can still result in you accidently screwing it up, iv had it a few times)

    also severe mood swings (from anything till being on the verge of crying) when hearing/reading any words that could have anything to do with sex love, relationships etc, though that only occours for me when im on my own,

    also theres a good chance that you have some sort of social anxiety. and just generelly have a very low self esteme, which is a hugh turn off for girls (guys go for looks, girls go for selfesteme, looks can be faked, sadly, selfesteme is somthing you either have or you havnt, i havnt)

    on top of all that theres a good chance you are overwhelmed by the amount of mental problems you have, i know i am, and iv tried just about anything i could find on the subject, like studieng the game for the last 3 years, seing a lot of guys going from being circa like me to being pimps, while i stayed the same =/

    as said, im 20, good looking, but having been very badly bullied for a number of years when i was younger (mainly becouse i liked playing with girls atleast as much as i did with guys in the younger classes) iv since then lacked of very low selfconfidence, which then pushes girls away and then makes it even worse, and pushes them even further away, and its just one of those nice little self reinforcing cirkles with a nice little downwards spiraling effect, that can quite easily destroy a mans life.

    if any1 has anything that can help me, please do post it, im in a state of hating sex, for its destructive powers, and at the same time totally obsesed with getting hold of it, kinda like golum, just without the ring. and sick and tired of being like that.

  • third an only… my advice is this.. get to a club, keep confidence, drink a little so you stay confident, and walk up to any woman and ask to buy a drink, if she ses yes, its obvious she knows what you intend to do.. so she just accepted that you will probably walk her home or summin and expect her to invite you in after the bar for “hot coffee”. and im sure you knows what that means… see, its all about confidence in this game…

    there IS another way tho.. gain respect, with respect comes power and having power encourages your self esteem.. i moved to a crappy area away from home where i knew no one.. i never thought id get laid.. i started helpin people out if they needed summin, gained some friends by doing that, with those friends i gained some more until i was pretty respected among my peers. i used that respect to build my self esteem. what im trying to say here is… get respect, then use your friends and make parties or get together.. hopefully they bring girls etc.. im a DJ and all i can say is.. in parties woman love the DJ and the host and sometimes private bartenders.
    now. go out, get alot of friends, let them help you with confidence and self esteem and then gain respect and make (recomended) or go to parties..

  • oh and one more thing… reach out to your good points.. the good aspects of you and use that… when there is a will, there is way.

  • for your guys info…yes your girlfriends are going to want sex, but how is your wife gona feel when she knows you have done it w/ many other girls?…and how are you gona feel? the girls that say that you are a wimp only say that because they think its what they are suposed to say. so dont worry about having sex… if the girl really loves you she wont care.

  • Don’t think sex. Think having fun with a girl you like. Going out to eat. Going to the park. Toss a Frisbee with her in the park.
    Find an animal such as a dog and ask a girl to walk the dog with you in the park. Ask her what interests her. Don’t be afraid to tell her that you like her and you want to hang out with her. Tell her why you want to hang out with her. Something like I like you because you are quick with an answer or/and you have this pretty smile that I enjoy seeing from you. Go for the friend ship and the respect. The rest will follow. Don’t rust it. She might anyway! Treat her as your best friend, by being honest, but treat her as she is glass. May not to extreme, but try to understand she has feelings that could get hurt.

    Have fun and enjoy. That is what we are suppose to do!

  • Thanks for the anwsers.

    “Uncle Cholo”
    theres gotta be a better way to start a conversation then walking up to a girl and handing her your balls.
    usually over here the girl will take the drink and then shot the guy down. (i havnt tried it, but iv seen it happen time and time again)
    you being a dj gives you eminens power in the clubs, you have the power to decide what everyone in there is forced to listn too, and power is one of the things that girls are atracted to.
    so if you use it and it works, its probably becouse she would sleep with you no matter what you say 🙂
    getting respect and friends is a possible way, it sounds like a long one, and not being to good at getting friends also a tough one, but not a bad suggestion non the less.

    While i have been to clubs and such in the past and also had girls come up to me a few times i feel very uncomfortable when there, (iv never been a big fan of loud music, cigeret smoke and inhumane temperatures.) which makes it hard to think anything to say,
    it wont stop me from going there from time to time though, though so far i havnt been able to do more then talk to girls.

    “u r stupid” not sure what you mean by this, but the answer to your question is probably somthing like what the guy’s think when they discover how many guys she has been with

    “Doesn’t Matter”
    i like your way of thinking.
    I usually dont think of sex when interacting with girls.
    getting a dog is out of the question ^^ i simply dont have the room for it. but your suggestion with going out to toss a frisbee is much better then the standard suggested date where you are forced to spend atleast 30-60 possibly awkward minutes with a girl without any garantee that the chemistry is there.
    also your note on giving compliments, while i dont think its a good idea to compliment on her looks (eg smile) giving a compliment on somthing she does, that you think is cute/sexy would probably not hurt, if done in the right way…
    treating her like she is made of glass is though in my eyes not a good idea, its kinda like putting her on a pedistal and worshiping her as a goddess.

    but iv decided to try out some pheromones, to se if they cant amp up my abilities or atleast the girls responses, in bars and such, and just in generel
    and iv found somthing which sounds like the kind of stuff iv been looking for.

  • To the third and only.
    You mentioned that you were good looking. I’m going to sound highly, HIGHLY superficial here, but for a first impression, especially if you’re making the first move, looks do matter.
    First of all, going to a club and using some pickup line (no matter how original you may think it is) is not the only way to get a girl. 99% of the time she’ll see right through you and see nothing more than another one of those horny guys who wants to get laid… NOW.
    If you’re very lucky and she (a)doesn’t have a boyfriend, (b)has had a few drinks and (c)desperately wants sex herself, you’ll probably get your one night stand.
    Offer to buy her a drink. If she says no, don’t get dejected, and if she seems uncomfortable, for the love of god, don’t press the matter and go somewhere else.
    If she says yes, lucky you. This may sound cheesy and quite sad really, but if you have low self esteem, it’s probably a good idea to have up a number of topics ready to talk to any random person about, enough to keep the conversation going for an hour or so. Nothing dampens the chemistry like awkward pauses in conversation. Maintain eye contact (a no brainer) and don’t come on too strong (this actually depends on how many drinks she’s had so far). Ask her questions about herself, like nice, simple questions that’ll lead you to flattering her. Don’t be too over-eager and bombard her with questions about everything from where she bought her dress to how much her little sister’s dentures cost.
    Once again, FLATTER. The article may be sleazy, but the flattering aspect is completely true. It’s the easiest way to get someone to like you. You can never flatter her too much, but whatever you say, make it at least vaguely believable and you have to be sincere. If she thinks that you’re mocking her, you’d better be ready to have a nice long relationship with your virginity, because you’re not going to lose it anytime soon.

    Like Uncle Cholo said, drink a bit. Just enough to make you bolder than you normally are.

    Apart from the going-to-parties-and-hitting-on-anyone-with-breasts approach, you could also try and make friends. Friends boost your self esteem, and the more friends you have means a wider social circle, and better chances of meeting a girl that you actually connect with.

  • ok im 17 and I’m like the third and only, but worse, I’m not good looking. The third and only, you said looks can easily be faked, how? lets take my hair for ex. all the other guys heve this perfect looking hair, and mine is all thick and stuff, and yes i use shampoo evry other day (i heard its bad to shampoo every day). i know how to create small talk with girls for a while, i even make a few jokes, but then i run out of stuff to say. im out of touch with what’s hip, because im a bit nerdy. i know going to a party is the way to get lots of friends, but i’m bad at making them, i end up w/ no one to talk to. Is there a quick and easy way to get hip? Apparently music and sports is cool. This one nerdy guy in my class bought a sports handbook with a bunch of big names, but it didnt really help him so i dunno.
    oh, and also im skinny as hell, so when there are other guys around they get to push me away :(. i could stand up to them but ill get beat up, is it worth it? heres my workout, which, hasnt really been working out for a few months:
    Monday lift weights
    Tuesday sit-ups
    Wednes. squats, lateral raises
    Fri lying tricep extension (basicly lie down and raise two weights)
    what can i fix to improve my muscles? money is an issue.
    The more specific the help the better. thanx.

  • to get a dumb woman: pretend you’re gay and after gaining her trust (in the way most gay men only can to women) try to get her to “turn you to the other side” by ways of the sexual kind.

  • don’t expect to get laid until around the 5th date. if she plays with her keys she,kisses you back after the goodnight kiss she is inviting you in just make sure you make a move kiss her passionatly but stop if she fights it.
    when your first trying to pick her up only say one compliamentin the beggining if she pushes you away stay once you run out of questions to ask her or things to say give her a place and time to meet for a date if she deniys start to leave but before you take one step a way just say so i will see you there at ( the time you chose) chances are she will be there. Make sure the place oyu chose is an activity so you don’t have to talk a lot but you still can talk a little always have the dinner after the activity so you have a basis of something to talk about make sure the second date has something to do with what she likes. nd that is the basis of starting the relationship which is the easiest way to get laid a lot easier than trying to find a one night stand.

    P.S I AM A GIRL SO I NOW THAT THIS IS GOOD ADVICE
    i can’t believe you are all so naive i was wondering how you thought the easy way of getting laid was

  • Third and Only, and Bob:

    I’ll let you in on a seemingly obvious tip that a lot of guys in high school (and older) seem to miss: if you want to get some attention from girls, start doing something girls like to do. Anything artistic is perfect — you don’t have to be good at it; just be there. Theater geeks may not get much respect from macho dudes, but they can get laid all the time because they hang around with a lot of girls. I actually took ballet lessons for a while in early high school — since I was the only straight guy around, the girls were actually competing for me. Lots of political groups (particularly liberal ones — no wonder those conservative dudes are so uptight) skew female, too. Join one. Or if that’s not your thing, try a girl-friendly coed sport like coed soccer or horseback riding. Again, you don’t have to be good at it; just get some time hanging out with them and the rest will follow.

  • I met my wife at a laundromat. She had two kids and was divorced and not the best looking woman in the world. Talking with her made me smile so much my face hurt afterwards. We were married 8 months later. That was 12 years ago. Personality is everything.

  • well, havnt read here since my last post but decided to write a short post here anyways, i finally managed to cure my virginity =P
    the girl was cute and i had only talked with her like 10 minutes before were were without clothes my conclussion is that sex is somwhat borring … and that hookers are pricy ^^
    but it was still worth it, if nothing els then just to try it (and damn iv missed frenchkissing, its +3 years since the last time…)

    well, im out, take care all =)

  • GREAT INPUT!! I’ve actually fallen in love, because of sex… more than once. You gotta start somewhere, you gotta start someplace, and I can’t think of a better place.

  • Ok sorry, but guess what, every average joe (And more importantly the sad kids who are still virgins because of the simple fact they got no looks, or no courage/ personality, but for most of you, its just cause you don’t know what to say, anyways) is gonna use flattery, its a general tactic that makes you: A) Not as confident B) A possible bi**h for them C) A friend, girls don’t have sex with friends, or even relationships past friends
    You have to be cocky, but funny. Just seem like you’re the baddest guy in bar, and back it up with some jokes, then you’ll have it easy.
    Don’t go up to a girl saying, “Nice hair, it makes your face centered” or what ever they said up there, With an opening line, make it sound like a compliment, but turn it around. Kinda make fun of them, not as an a**, but funnily. You’re fu***ng ugly is NOT a joke. Don’t call them a bi***, or a slut, but if its just a natural word you use, hold it back til they know you a bit. If you’re smart, your first, will be some what like a one night stand, people tend to get attached to their first one.
    Love doesn’t start at sex, if it did, there plenty of girls at your local high school who “love” a few hundred boys, DON’T mistake love and sex.

  • Bob, work with what you have. That’s the number one thing. I’ve seen hideous guys with gorgeous girls, lazy bums with cheerleaders, you just have to know what you’re offering. Girls can’t resist a guy who’s there for them. Don’t start out getting into her pants. Establish a basis, learn about her.

    Flattery is always acceptable. Be sparing with superlatives though (these are words like “incredible,” “gorgeous,” “breathtaking,” etc.). Save those for when she’s worked hard to accomplish something. One of the best compliments is to stare at her, never take your eyes off her eyes, and after a second just say “wow.” Sounds cheesy but if you do it right (and you aren’t staring at her chest when you say that) it works like magic. If she ever asks if she’s cute act like that’s the most ridiculous question in the world. Nothing’s better than feeling like you’re better than everyone else and if you can make her feel that way, you’re in.

    Like Common Sense said, joke around, you don’t wanna sound desperate, but don’t be an a** like he said. Act like you’re skeptical of them, you’ll actually learn a lot that way. If she acts interested in you turn on the charm back but let her know you think she’s just playing. “Mhm I bet I’m the only person you’ve said that to this evening, too, huh?” with a suspecting smirk after a compliment can really save your ass. If she does say that to everyone then you’ve shown you aren’t naive and you’ve made it harder for her to toy with you. If she doesn’t say that to everyone then she’ll take your smirk as you teasing and she’ll defend herself that she doesn’t say that to just anyone. Without her knowing you’ve deduced whether she’s sincere or just a tease.

    Also, wash your hair every day, it will start to look greasy the second day and girls love soft hair.

  • So you want to get laid?

    Start networking. Call up friends or old friends. Hit the clubs and bars. Have a few drinks. Make an attempt to approach a girl. Throw yourself out there a bit. THE WORST THAT HAPPENS IS REJECTION OR AWKWARDNESS RIGHT? SO AT THAT POINT TRY AGAIN. F*** IT. YOU CAN CONTINUE ON IN YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THIS RANDOM GIRL THAT COULDN’T MATCH UP WITH YOU. THE MORE YOU DO IT. THE MORE FUN IT IS. ADRENALINE RUSH. EVERYONE IS NERVOUS. EVERYONE GETS REJECTED AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER. JUST CASUALLY WALK AWAY AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE.

    MAKE A MOVE GUYS. cheers =)

  • Alright…you guys are thinking WAY too much on this subject. Unfortunatly someday your gonna wake up and realize, it ain’t all about sex. It just isn’t. If you want to meet a girl, do it for all the right reasons, NOT because you want to just have sex with her! It’s completely ridiculous and if you lose your virginity to someone you don’t love, or worse, don’t even know the name of but you met her at Hooters and well she did have a nice pair; Trust me, it’s the WRONG way to go! I’ve talked to many of my guy friends that have lost it to woman they don’t love and they HATE looking back on the memories and the fact that they slept with her because they were just trying to get rid of it. DONT focus soo much on this. LIFE isn’t just about breathing, just as meeting a girl isn’t just about getting it.

  • wow, this article is kinda sleezy….don’t start a relationship with a girl just for sex, that’s really low, and feelings could get hurt. Start a relationship because you want one, not cuz ur *****

  • Hey the third and only if you think sex with a girl is boring then you’re prbly gay… Try a guy
    and by the way guys confidence is everything believe me im am no fabio yet i’ve gotten laid plenty of times
    If she’s in a group then you eliminate the friends make a beeline for your target and make sure you just say something like Wow you have beautiful eyes or some **** like that(i know it sounds cheezy but it works) u should usually say something about her hair because that is most likely to be true and girls love to talk about their hair. After that you gotta do something that she likes. Ask her out if she’s easy then nail her.
    If you like her take her out again and maybe wait until the second or third date .

  • All women are different. Some will take a year to seduce, other 30 minutes for a one-night-stand, some you will never get laid with. But the key is searching. Dating a lot of women makes you better at it, and makes you better at getting laid AND lovemaking. We shouldnt look at monogamy until you are a pro and can get an intelligent classy and hot woman.

  • Ummmm how would all this work if you never had a gf had any female friends or have any guy friends to hang out with and are 22 with a curfew of 6 pm ? and that is shy to talk to females.

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