Frank Sinatra once sang, “Regrets, I've had a few; but then again, too few to mention.” We would all get to live full and fruitful lives if only we could live in the present and not dwell in the past. It's alright to have at few regretful moments in life, but to dwell in those regrets can be a bad thing. You don't have to live in the past if you live for the moment and for what's ahead. Regretful Moments: Everyone Has One... Or Even More Everyone makes bad decisions every once in a while. Serious regret is not as simple as regretting a bad meal at a restaurant that's supposed to be good. People make bad career moves, hang out with the wrong friends, or live through the pain of a love that was not meant to be. Experiencing regret is normal, but dwelling on regret is not. It's never a good feeling to live in the past. You can't turn back time and correct all your mistakes. The first step you should take when dealing with regret is to realize that you're not alone. All people make at least one decision that they will regret, but those decisions do not have to take control of your life. Some people may even spend every waking moment remembering all those decisions, and end up feeling depressed and sorry for themselves. Here are some examples of some serious regrets:

• You turned down a high-paying position at a very respectable and famous firm just because all of your friends work at the same company. You end up deep in debt and can't afford to pay your rent. No matter how much you try to justify the friendship, all of you end up in bad financial situations that you almost always quarrel about. You try to call the firm that offered you the position, but the position was already filled in by someone else. You say to yourself, “Why didn't I take that job offer before?”
• Years ago, you had your first taste of alcohol. You enjoyed the rush so much that you started to drink heavily and excessively. Soon you can't finish a meal without a glass of liquor, or watch TV without a cold beer. You thought you could beat alcoholism, but alcohol already had a grip on you. Years after your first drink, you developed a serious illness. You say to yourself, “Why did I start drinking?”
• You had all the chances to be with that special someone, yet you still remained cold-hearted and insensitive to his or her feelings. No matter how much he or she tries to find a place in your heart, you don't reciprocate with the same affection or even a simple gesture of friendship. He or she then feels rejected or even used. Later on, you realize that you're really in love with that person, but he or she already found someone else. You say to yourself, “Why didn't I do anything about it?”

You Made Your Bed, So Sleep In It Often the best way to get rid of serious regret is a serious reality check. Deep-seated regret happens when you refuse to hold yourself responsible for decisions you made. Regret often results from bad, hasty decisions you make when you let your heart control your head, or when you let your head control your heart. Almost every bad decision has a bad consequence, and often you have no choice but to live with that consequence. Nobody's perfect, and people are bound to make at least one decision that they will regret. Regret happens when you don't want to take responsibility for your own actions. Remember that you can't turn back time and find a way to make things right again. After you have lived with the consequences of your own bad decisions, then you can move on with your life the best and happiest you can. Talk About It The worst thing you can do is to keep the regretful feeling all to yourself. Regret can mess around with your friendships, family life, work, and other important relationships. Think of regret as a cocoon or a shell you form around yourself because you don't want to deal with the consequences of a bad decision. People who dwell in regret tend to shut out their loved ones from their lives. Family and friends are there to help you overcome your own regrets and frustrations. They may even understand the problem more than you if your judgment is really clouded by your emotions. Really serious regrets can sometimes be a symptom of serious mental illnesses like depression. You may need to talk to a psychiatrist or join support groups if you need professional help in dealing with your regrets. Put Everything Into Perspective Regret sometimes forces you to take all the blame, and bear the weight of the world on your shoulder. You have to forgive yourself at some point, but not without closure. There are a lot of things you may regret where you are not exactly at fault, and you should stop blaming yourself for things that no one can blame you for. Remember that there are a lot of things in the world that are out of your control. Say you hold down a bad job; nobody can blame you for holding one when many people don't even have money to pay their bills. If you have any romantic regrets, you must remember that even the one you love is not so perfect. Perspective doesn't mean that you should seek revenge, but it does mean that you should not spend so much time in guilt and self-pity. Leave It All Behind There are just some situations that you can't do anything about no matter how much you try. Walking away doesn't mean that you're giving up on anything, but you do know that it's best to move on. You have to learn to accept that you can't do anything about a lot of decisions once you made them. The best you could do for yourself and for your loved ones is to move on to the next chapter of your life, prepared and ready from the lessons of the past. When you leave your regrets behind, make sure that you find closure. Talk to your boss, speak your feelings to your family and friends, and have a heart-to-heart talk with the person you once loved. While you may not be able to close everything in one conversation, you can find peace of mind in being able to mend what you can of the things that you felt “ruined you.” With the valuable life lessons you learned, you can enjoy life even more. A bit of regret is normal, but to live in the shadow of that regret is a really painful experience. Remember that people who are capable of making bad decisions are also capable of making good decisions. The soonest you can walk away from regretfulness and despair, the closer you get to a happy, fulfilled and meaningful life. Whether it's a regret caused by work, family, or the ways of the heart, it does not have to get in the way of living your life as best as you can, and accepting yourself as you are.