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How to Get Rid of Your Virginity… Guys!
May 1st, 2007 by MartinDodge
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All the guys are pointing at you dismissively and playfully punching their buddies on the shoulder, each mocking you by prancing about like a big sissie. Not so as you can see them, of course, but you’re sure they’re doing it. You know it because they all know you’re still a virgin. You radiate virginity. “Loser!”
You’re thinking, “what am I doing wrong? I’ve heard the news on the BBC say that by the time British boys are 15, a quarter of them have lost their virginity. Come on, they’re Brits, for gosh sakes! I’m a red-blooded American, and I’m 19. Why can’t I get seduced and get rid of this lousy condition? What is wrong with me?!
There, there, take it easy, pal. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Your problem may be that you’re defective – not in charm or looks, but in your technique. Well, we’re here to help you remedy that problem. Just follow our directions, and you’ll be okay in no time.
A Prerequisite to Success: To Do This Thing, You’ll Need a Partner
1. First step, find a girl or, if you swing that way, a boy. But, for the sake of keeping the pronouns simple, let’s say that you’re a guy looking for a girl (though everything we write here also applies to boys… if you swing that way). This girl can be homely or beautiful, short or tall, smart or dumb, rich or poor, hither or yon, but she must have one particular quality: she’s got to be easy. Nowadays, girls with this quality are not difficult to find if you look in all the right places.
2. Once you have spotted the girl, you must learn a bit about her so that you can more easily open a conversation and flatter her. That’s important. Write it down: girls love flattery. It makes no difference how outrageous it is, they believe it and love it.
You can get some useful background information about her by hiring a detective to tail her (expensive), going through her garbage to see what magazines she subscribes to (messy), watching her from a distance (requires investing in binoculars and also runs the risk of arrest as a stalker), tapping into her phone (not good if the NSA already has her phone tapped), or getting your friends to go through her garbage (they’ll refuse). So, you are at a dead end; getting background on her is out, and you’re just going to have to wing it. That’s okay, because you don’t have time for background investigations anyway. You’ve got to strike while your iron is hot and bothered.
The Art of the Pickup
3. You are going to have to march right up to her and hit her with a great opening line, what is known in the business as a “pick-up line.” There are good and bad pick-up lines. “Hi, I’m Able N. Willing, single, a virgin, and smitten by your charms” is a pickup line. The words are, no doubt, the truth; but write this down: All that telling the truth is guaranteed to accomplish is to set you free. You don’t want to be set free. You want a partner. So that is a bad pick-up line.
A good pick-up line: “I love your hair. It frames your face perfectly.” This may or may not be true. Either way, it’s flattery, and what do girls love? That’s right! Onward!
4. Ask her where she’s from, what kind of work she does, blah blah blah, the usual small talk. (Don’t ask her what her sign is; she will be embarrassed if she doesn’t know.) After no more than an hour of this kind of chitchat, ask her out.
5. Tell her what you intend to do on your date – go to a good restaurant (name it) and a show – but, for God’s sake, don’t tell her what you’re intending to do afterward. If she accepts, terrific! If not, well, even a good salesman closes only 10% of his pitches, and a great baseball player fails to get on base 70% of the time. Get over the rejection and move on to your next potential conquest.
But let’s say you’re successful. Come the evening of the date, be prepared for getting lucky. Carry a condom or two. After all, she may not have any.
6. After the dinner and show, play it by ear. Drive her to her house, show her to the door, and go for the goodnight kiss. If she likes you, she will kiss you back. If she is eager to get carnal on you, she will give you a sign, such as wresting you to the ground, sticking her tongue down your throat as far as your liver, and then wresting you through the door. Ta-dahhhh! Mission accomplished.
Things Don’t Always Go Perfectly on the First Date
If, however, she likes you but is not carnal, try making another date. She may want to go a little slow because she’s interested in something more than a one-night stand with you. A lot of girls are that way. It’s irksome, we know, but realize this: you’re not going to get your way if she doesn’t get her way.
Yes, time to wake up, fellow. You are no longer the pursuer if, indeed, you ever were. You have taken on another title: Putty in Her Hands. That’s right. She’s in charge. But then, she always was, and you just never knew it. Why? Because you’re a male.
On one of these dates, maybe with this girl, maybe with another, your quest will be, shall we say?, consummated. Now, danger lurks. You may find you like your new non-virgin status, so much so that you keep dating this girl (if she lets you). You may find yourself falling in love. You may find yourself getting married. You may find yourself living in a suburban home with 1.5 children, a car in the driveway, and a colossal mortgage. And the days go by, water flowing underground.
Real life has ensnared you. But you’ll always remember that first time.
Resources:
- Concerned about being a virgin at your age? Just be thankful you don’t live in South Africa. Hanne Blank.com, “Virgins on the Cutting Room Floor,”
- How to Have More Social Success, “Being A Male Virgin After High-School Isn’t The End Of The WorldM“
- Listen to how Eddie Izzard lost his virginity – or did he? There may be a couple of rude words here, but with his English accent, it’s hard to tell.
Sponsored Links for: Losing Virginity [What's This?]
All women are different. Some will take a year to seduce, other 30 minutes for a one-night-stand, some you will never get laid with. But the key is searching. Dating a lot of women makes you better at it, and makes you better at getting laid AND lovemaking. We shouldnt look at monogamy until you are a pro and can get an intelligent classy and hot woman.
Hahaha I got a kick out of this. I was only a TAD offended, but it still cracked me up.
dead end!!!!!!!!!
Hey the third and only if you think sex with a girl is boring then you’re prbly gay… Try a guy
and by the way guys confidence is everything believe me im am no fabio yet i’ve gotten laid plenty of times
If she’s in a group then you eliminate the friends make a beeline for your target and make sure you just say something like Wow you have beautiful eyes or some **** like that(i know it sounds cheezy but it works) u should usually say something about her hair because that is most likely to be true and girls love to talk about their hair. After that you gotta do something that she likes. Ask her out if she’s easy then nail her.
If you like her take her out again and maybe wait until the second or third date .
wow, this article is kinda sleezy….don’t start a relationship with a girl just for sex, that’s really low, and feelings could get hurt. Start a relationship because you want one, not cuz ur *****
Guyz.. Look at the galz section..
Alright…you guys are thinking WAY too much on this subject. Unfortunatly someday your gonna wake up and realize, it ain’t all about sex. It just isn’t. If you want to meet a girl, do it for all the right reasons, NOT because you want to just have sex with her! It’s completely ridiculous and if you lose your virginity to someone you don’t love, or worse, don’t even know the name of but you met her at Hooters and well she did have a nice pair; Trust me, it’s the WRONG way to go! I’ve talked to many of my guy friends that have lost it to woman they don’t love and they HATE looking back on the memories and the fact that they slept with her because they were just trying to get rid of it. DONT focus soo much on this. LIFE isn’t just about breathing, just as meeting a girl isn’t just about getting it.
So you want to get laid?
Start networking. Call up friends or old friends. Hit the clubs and bars. Have a few drinks. Make an attempt to approach a girl. Throw yourself out there a bit. THE WORST THAT HAPPENS IS REJECTION OR AWKWARDNESS RIGHT? SO AT THAT POINT TRY AGAIN. F*** IT. YOU CAN CONTINUE ON IN YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THIS RANDOM GIRL THAT COULDN’T MATCH UP WITH YOU. THE MORE YOU DO IT. THE MORE FUN IT IS. ADRENALINE RUSH. EVERYONE IS NERVOUS. EVERYONE GETS REJECTED AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER. JUST CASUALLY WALK AWAY AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
MAKE A MOVE GUYS. cheers =)
Bob, work with what you have. That’s the number one thing. I’ve seen hideous guys with gorgeous girls, lazy bums with cheerleaders, you just have to know what you’re offering. Girls can’t resist a guy who’s there for them. Don’t start out getting into her pants. Establish a basis, learn about her.
Flattery is always acceptable. Be sparing with superlatives though (these are words like “incredible,” “gorgeous,” “breathtaking,” etc.). Save those for when she’s worked hard to accomplish something. One of the best compliments is to stare at her, never take your eyes off her eyes, and after a second just say “wow.” Sounds cheesy but if you do it right (and you aren’t staring at her chest when you say that) it works like magic. If she ever asks if she’s cute act like that’s the most ridiculous question in the world. Nothing’s better than feeling like you’re better than everyone else and if you can make her feel that way, you’re in.
Like Common Sense said, joke around, you don’t wanna sound desperate, but don’t be an a** like he said. Act like you’re skeptical of them, you’ll actually learn a lot that way. If she acts interested in you turn on the charm back but let her know you think she’s just playing. “Mhm I bet I’m the only person you’ve said that to this evening, too, huh?” with a suspecting smirk after a compliment can really save your ass. If she does say that to everyone then you’ve shown you aren’t naive and you’ve made it harder for her to toy with you. If she doesn’t say that to everyone then she’ll take your smirk as you teasing and she’ll defend herself that she doesn’t say that to just anyone. Without her knowing you’ve deduced whether she’s sincere or just a tease.
Also, wash your hair every day, it will start to look greasy the second day and girls love soft hair.
Ok sorry, but guess what, every average joe (And more importantly the sad kids who are still virgins because of the simple fact they got no looks, or no courage/ personality, but for most of you, its just cause you don’t know what to say, anyways) is gonna use flattery, its a general tactic that makes you: A) Not as confident B) A possible bi**h for them C) A friend, girls don’t have sex with friends, or even relationships past friends
You have to be cocky, but funny. Just seem like you’re the baddest guy in bar, and back it up with some jokes, then you’ll have it easy.
Don’t go up to a girl saying, “Nice hair, it makes your face centered” or what ever they said up there, With an opening line, make it sound like a compliment, but turn it around. Kinda make fun of them, not as an a**, but funnily. You’re fu***ng ugly is NOT a joke. Don’t call them a bi***, or a slut, but if its just a natural word you use, hold it back til they know you a bit. If you’re smart, your first, will be some what like a one night stand, people tend to get attached to their first one.
Love doesn’t start at sex, if it did, there plenty of girls at your local high school who “love” a few hundred boys, DON’T mistake love and sex.
GREAT INPUT!! I’ve actually fallen in love, because of sex… more than once. You gotta start somewhere, you gotta start someplace, and I can’t think of a better place.
well, havnt read here since my last post but decided to write a short post here anyways, i finally managed to cure my virginity =P
the girl was cute and i had only talked with her like 10 minutes before were were without clothes my conclussion is that sex is somwhat borring … and that hookers are pricy ^^
but it was still worth it, if nothing els then just to try it (and damn iv missed frenchkissing, its +3 years since the last time…)
well, im out, take care all =)
make them laugh, look them in the eye and smile.. they will come like the rain
I met my wife at a laundromat. She had two kids and was divorced and not the best looking woman in the world. Talking with her made me smile so much my face hurt afterwards. We were married 8 months later. That was 12 years ago. Personality is everything.
Third and Only, and Bob:
I’ll let you in on a seemingly obvious tip that a lot of guys in high school (and older) seem to miss: if you want to get some attention from girls, start doing something girls like to do. Anything artistic is perfect — you don’t have to be good at it; just be there. Theater geeks may not get much respect from macho dudes, but they can get laid all the time because they hang around with a lot of girls. I actually took ballet lessons for a while in early high school — since I was the only straight guy around, the girls were actually competing for me. Lots of political groups (particularly liberal ones — no wonder those conservative dudes are so uptight) skew female, too. Join one. Or if that’s not your thing, try a girl-friendly coed sport like coed soccer or horseback riding. Again, you don’t have to be good at it; just get some time hanging out with them and the rest will follow.
don’t expect to get laid until around the 5th date. if she plays with her keys she,kisses you back after the goodnight kiss she is inviting you in just make sure you make a move kiss her passionatly but stop if she fights it.
when your first trying to pick her up only say one compliamentin the beggining if she pushes you away stay once you run out of questions to ask her or things to say give her a place and time to meet for a date if she deniys start to leave but before you take one step a way just say so i will see you there at ( the time you chose) chances are she will be there. Make sure the place oyu chose is an activity so you don’t have to talk a lot but you still can talk a little always have the dinner after the activity so you have a basis of something to talk about make sure the second date has something to do with what she likes. nd that is the basis of starting the relationship which is the easiest way to get laid a lot easier than trying to find a one night stand.
P.S I AM A GIRL SO I NOW THAT THIS IS GOOD ADVICE
i can’t believe you are all so naive i was wondering how you thought the easy way of getting laid was
to get a dumb woman: pretend you’re gay and after gaining her trust (in the way most gay men only can to women) try to get her to “turn you to the other side” by ways of the sexual kind.
ok im 17 and I’m like the third and only, but worse, I’m not good looking. The third and only, you said looks can easily be faked, how? lets take my hair for ex. all the other guys heve this perfect looking hair, and mine is all thick and stuff, and yes i use shampoo evry other day (i heard its bad to shampoo every day). i know how to create small talk with girls for a while, i even make a few jokes, but then i run out of stuff to say. im out of touch with what’s hip, because im a bit nerdy. i know going to a party is the way to get lots of friends, but i’m bad at making them, i end up w/ no one to talk to. Is there a quick and easy way to get hip? Apparently music and sports is cool. This one nerdy guy in my class bought a sports handbook with a bunch of big names, but it didnt really help him so i dunno.
oh, and also im skinny as hell, so when there are other guys around they get to push me away :(. i could stand up to them but ill get beat up, is it worth it? heres my workout, which, hasnt really been working out for a few months:
Monday lift weights
Tuesday sit-ups
Wednes. squats, lateral raises
Fri lying tricep extension (basicly lie down and raise two weights)
what can i fix to improve my muscles? money is an issue.
The more specific the help the better. thanx.
To the third and only.
You mentioned that you were good looking. I’m going to sound highly, HIGHLY superficial here, but for a first impression, especially if you’re making the first move, looks do matter.
First of all, going to a club and using some pickup line (no matter how original you may think it is) is not the only way to get a girl. 99% of the time she’ll see right through you and see nothing more than another one of those horny guys who wants to get laid… NOW.
If you’re very lucky and she (a)doesn’t have a boyfriend, (b)has had a few drinks and (c)desperately wants sex herself, you’ll probably get your one night stand.
Offer to buy her a drink. If she says no, don’t get dejected, and if she seems uncomfortable, for the love of god, don’t press the matter and go somewhere else.
If she says yes, lucky you. This may sound cheesy and quite sad really, but if you have low self esteem, it’s probably a good idea to have up a number of topics ready to talk to any random person about, enough to keep the conversation going for an hour or so. Nothing dampens the chemistry like awkward pauses in conversation. Maintain eye contact (a no brainer) and don’t come on too strong (this actually depends on how many drinks she’s had so far). Ask her questions about herself, like nice, simple questions that’ll lead you to flattering her. Don’t be too over-eager and bombard her with questions about everything from where she bought her dress to how much her little sister’s dentures cost.
Once again, FLATTER. The article may be sleazy, but the flattering aspect is completely true. It’s the easiest way to get someone to like you. You can never flatter her too much, but whatever you say, make it at least vaguely believable and you have to be sincere. If she thinks that you’re mocking her, you’d better be ready to have a nice long relationship with your virginity, because you’re not going to lose it anytime soon.
Like Uncle Cholo said, drink a bit. Just enough to make you bolder than you normally are.
Apart from the going-to-parties-and-hitting-on-anyone-with-breasts approach, you could also try and make friends. Friends boost your self esteem, and the more friends you have means a wider social circle, and better chances of meeting a girl that you actually connect with.
the somthing i refered to was http://www.charismaarts.com (thought that was what i wrote… )