In the classic country hit “The Coward of the County,” Kenny Rogers told the story of a man named Tommy who never stood up to bullies in the Old West. Tommy's father, a hardened criminal who died in prison, told his son that he doesn't have to fight to prove himself to people who do him wrong. Many people mocked Tommy for being “yellow,” but Tommy always took his father's words to heart. When the Gatlin Boys took turns at his wife Becky, all the rage and anger bottled up inside him welled up, and not a Gatlin boy was left standing after he fought all three of them. The moral of the story: “Sometimes you have to fight to be a man.” We all wish that we can fight bullies the same way that Tommy did. Whether it's the schoolyard bully, an aggressive officemate, or a really awful neighbor, we all want to get even with those who torment us. Some people dream of beating up bullies with swift revenge and mighty fists one day, but never seem to live up to their imaginations. Instead of getting tormented by bullies all the time, here are some ways that you can get rid of your bully once and for all.

Walk Away

Even young children know that the best way to deal with a bully is to walk away and to mind your own business. Bullies thrive on attention, and they'll do anything to draw your attention to them. A bully will do all he or she can to provoke and get the better of you. He or she usually does this by taking advantage of every opportunity to get into your head, take advantage of your feelings, and perhaps even hurt you physically. Even if you think you can beat the bully with one well-placed and well-timed shot to the jaw, it's still best to ignore him or her. A bully will not leave you alone if you always pay attention to him or her. If you deprive the bully of attention, he or she will get the message that you're not a person to be bullied. Besides, you have more important business to attend to than to be tormented by a bully.

Stay Confident

Bullies prey on people who seem helpless, weak, or incapable of defending themselves. You don't need to go to the gym to build up muscle mass and learn Brazilian jiu-jitsu to make bullies afraid of you. Bullies are genuinely afraid of people who look and feel confident. If you come across as a wimp or as a coward, you're a magnet for bullies. Even if you doubt that you can hold your own against a bully, you have to make it appear that you're not a person to mess with. Here are some tips to help you appear confident before a bully:

• Keep your head up. Look straight into the eyes of a bully when he or she confronts you. If you keep your eyes downcast, the bully will think that you're trying to avoid him or her altogether.
• Walk with confidence. Keep your back straight, don't slouch, and take steady strides when you walk. If you drag yourself along when you walk, a bully will think that you're weak and easy to pick on.
• Stay calm, cool, and collected. Fear and nervousness are feelings that come through no matter how hard to try to hide them. The sight of an intimidating bully may catch you off-guard, but don't let him or her feel that you're afraid.

Remember that a bully will always go after people he or she can intimidate. If you come across as a genuinely confident person, a bully will stay well out of your way.

Make Friends

Loners are a prime target for bullies. Bullies won't go after people who have friends who will protect them from their tormentors. If your child is bullied, encourage him or her to make friends at school. A bully may be able to fight one or two kids, but he or she can't stand up to a whole group of children. There's a good chance that your child's friends will be the same children tormented by the schoolyard bully. One kid cannot stand up to a bully, but with the power of friendship and courage, these children will be able to stand up and hold their own against the bully. Bonding together can also teach them a valuable lesson in life: one for all, and all for one.

Get to Know the Bully

Bullies may look tough on the outside, but deep inside they are really insecure. As a parent, you need to get to know why a bully torments your child. If you yourself are bullied, you need to know some background information about your tormentor. There are many reasons why bullies pick on other people:

• Family problems. A bully may belong to a single-parent household, or was raised by abusive parents. Bullying may be a way to vent out his or her family frustrations.
• Financial problems. Bullies often pick on children or on people who are able to afford things they can only dream of. They use violence and intimidation as ways to show that they are better than everyone else, especially those who are able to have things they do not and cannot have.
• Loneliness. Often, bullies do not have real friends. They often go out alone because they feel insecure, or that they haven't developed adequate socializing skills. Some bullies genuinely feel lonely and even jealous of people who have more friends than they do.

You may need to talk with the school guidance counselor or your child's homeroom adviser to get to know more about the bully. Remember that you're not trying to act like a second parent to your bully, because he or she will resent and not welcome it. You should think of the information you gather as a way to protect your kid, but at the same time a way of showing the bully that someone out there cares enough for him or her to know some parts of his or her life.

Defend Yourself

When you're confronted by a violent bully, you need to protect yourself from harm. It's one thing to be emotionally scarred by a bully, but it's another thing to be physically scarred by one. Unless you want to go home every day with a new wound to clean and to nurse, you need to learn some self-defense techniques. Self-defense is also a great way to prevent bullies from ever laying a hand on you in the first place. You can enroll yourself at a training dojo or martial arts camp to learn some self-defense techniques. Takedowns, reversals, and other defensive moves can help you counter a bully's attacks. You should keep in mind that you should never use lessons in self-defense to hurt a bully, or to be a bully yourself.

Confront the Bully

When worse comes to worst, you need to fight the bully at his or her own game. When you feel that you've put up with the bully for too long and he or she challenges you to a fight, then you may need to do so. When you do get into a fight, make sure that you're fighting for all the right reasons:

• If you feel that the bully is stepping on your identity and your person.
• If the bully has gone too far with his or her tormenting.
• If you feel that the only way to get rid of the bully is to fight him or her.

While a fight may not be the best way to deal with a bully, it's sometimes necessary to do so. When you fight the bully, expect the worst. You may get injured, people may end up having a low opinion of you, or you may have to face some disciplinary measures. You should also remember that not every fight ends with the underdog winning. Fighting a bully is a big risk, and you should only do so when absolutely necessary. A bully does not have to control your life. Bullies may think that people they scare are cowards, but nobody is more cowardly than the bully. There are some times that you'll end up fighting the bully, but most of the time the wisest and bravest thing you can do to a bully is to walk away.