Believe it or not, there is such a thing as a free lunch. There are times that friends run short of cash to buy food or pay bills. Sometimes a friend may have lost a job and a place to stay. A friend in need is a friend in deed, and it's good to help out a friend when he or she is down and out.

Some friends will appreciate your help and do their best not to be a burden, but some friends can take things just a bit too far. They start to depend on you for everything, and not make the effort to get themselves back on their feet. They'll just lay back on the couch and watch TV, use up all the hot water, increase your electricity bills, and even make comments about your cooking or housekeeping.

Freeloaders strain not only your own budget, but put an unneeded strain on your friendship. Like many things about friendship, generosity should not be abused. You too have needs and wants that need to be fulfilled. Freeloaders take up a lot of your time, and ultimately test your patience. Here are some ways to get rid of them.

Stretch Your Patience... and Your Budget

More often than not, friendship always takes priority above everything else. Many people would rather overlook the faults of their friends than to lose a friendship over a small squabble. Maybe you're the type of friend who would rather help out your friend because his or her story is touching and moving. Maybe your friend is too down in the dumps, and you're really sincere about helping him or her out.

Most people want to be financially independent, and chances are, your friend doesn't like the feeling of owing you a lot of his or her daily needs. Take a deep breath and write another check for your friend, or let him or her spend another night in your spare room. Do everything you can to help your friend get back on his or her own two feet.

Set and State Your Limits

No matter how generous you are or how magnanimous you want to be, everything you have has its limits. Your budget is limited, you have limited space in your house, and even your patience has its limits. When you feel that your friend is taking advantage of your generosity, here are some ways that you can get your boundaries across:

• Tell your friend outright. When you have time alone with your friend, tell him or her that while you really want to help, your weekly or monthly budget is not enough to support both of you for longer than a set amount of time. Your friend has to do his or her part in adding to or stretching the household budget.
• Serve simpler food. Maybe your friend is freeloading because you serve terrific food, or you often order late-night pizza. You may need to serve simpler food, have fewer snacks, or spend less time in front of the TV. Send a clear message that helping him or her out means that both of you have to make some sacrifices.
• Write smaller checks. If your friend starts depending on you for an allowance, give him or her the amount you think he or she needs, and not the amount he or she demands. If your friend is really interested in going to town to look for work, give him or her enough for lunch, transportation, a snack, and other things he or she may need - but that's it.
  

Setting limits will help your friend understand that while you're willing to help out as much as you can, you don't have much and you can only help in a limited number of ways.

Set a Deadline

OK, so your friend came knocking at your door, and promised that he or she will only stay for just a couple of nights until he or she gets a job, or the trouble settles down. A couple of weeks later, your friend is still around. He or she still uses up all the hot water in the tank, raids the fridge until it's out of food, and does nothing but watch TV. As much as you want to be the hospitable, charitable, and welcoming friend, you can't put up with your friend slacking off anymore.

When this happens, you have to set a deadline for your friend to leave. A deadline is a good motivator, especially when you encourage or even pressure your friend to start packing. When your friend gives you his or her word that he or she only needs a place to stay for a couple of days, then he or she should honor that word. Your friend should also exert all efforts to find a place of his or her own.

Drop the Hints

Sometimes a freeloader can be so dense, insensitive and completely immune to your attempts to talk or set your limits. When confronted with a freeloader who doesn't get the point, here are some ways to get them out of your hands and out of your house:

• Don't bring out the inflatable beds or guest mattresses. He or she should either sleep on the couch or a sleeping bag laid out on the floor.
• Cut the phone line when you're leaving the house. You can also contact your phone service provider for a security key or activation code, or call divert options.
• Buy only enough food and groceries for you and your family. Don't leave any extras or buy any favors for the freeloader.
• Lock up your TV sets, radios, video game consoles, computers, and other electronic gadgets in a cabinet or a drawer. That way, the freeloader will have absolutely nothing to do and will only end up bored.
• Turn off the electricity when you're leaving the house. The freeloader will then be pressured to leave because there's no air conditioning or electric light.
• Turn off the hot water supply after you have used it. Put away the bubble bath, soap, shampoo, perfume, and other toiletries that the freeloader will use excessively.

Turn Him or Her Out

Sometimes there's no other way to get rid of a freeloader but to pack up the duffel bags, and turn him or her away. It may seem cruel, but it's still your house. Besides, you've been more than generous, and you've been doing a good job at being a good friend. Turning your friend out may ruin your friendship, but you have to deal with the situation as rational adults who have lives of your own.

As a last favor to your friend, give him or her enough money to deposit at a modest hostel, motel, inn, or shelter. Chances are, he or she will never bother you again.

Say “No”

You wouldn't have a problem with freeloaders if you learn how to say “no.” Some freeloading friends are quite persistent. One day they'll leave, and the next day they'll come back with a sob story and ask you again if you have room.

Be firm and stern when you say “No.” Make it clear that while you're willing to help a friend, you're not very keen on destroying your own life and friendship for the sake of helping someone. Don't let their sad stories or insistence get to you. Remember that you have a life too, and that they should also take responsibilities for their own lives.

Whether it's a free lunch or a sleepover that extends from two weeks into forever, freeloaders can irritate even the most generous and level-headed friends. It's OK to be helpful and kind, but not when your generosity is abused and taken for granted. With these tips, you can send even the most annoying and persistent of freeloaders back to their own homes, where they belong.