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How to Get Rid of Boyfriends
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Although a boyfriend can be a wonderful addition to your life, there often comes a time when you might feel the need to get rid of your boyfriend. What is the best way to do it? Here are several approaches you can take.
The “Completely Honest” approach.
This is perhaps the best way to get rid of your boyfriend, but can often be the hardest option to take. It is quite reasonable to assume that you might have some feelings for your boyfriend left, or at least that you do not wish to hurt his feelings any more than you have to. Although being honest is difficult, it is often the best way to make a clean break from him and not have to worry about a dragged out break-up. If you want to take the honest approach, it is best to schedule a meeting with your boyfriend where you can talk face to face. (Ending a relationship by email, phone, or text is generally considered to be rude and tacky.) Tell your boyfriend that you are no longer interested in dating him. If you have enjoyed the time you spent together, you can certainly say this too. Remember, you are under no obligation to explain to your boyfriend exactly why you are ending the relationship. It might be easier to leave out the fact that you started an affair with your trainer at the gym, or that you haveaccepted the proposal of your boyfriend’s best friend. However, if you wish to maintain a friendship with your boyfriend, it might be better to give him some notice if a situation like this is occurring. It is usually better to hear it from you than through the grapevine.
The “Honest But Through A Third Person” approach.
If you do not feel like you are able to tell your boyfriend that you want to get rid of him, then another option is to enlist one of your friends to help you. This takes the pressure off you from having to do the actual breaking up. However, the downside of this approach is that it rarely gets rid of your boyfriend for good, because he is likely to want to discuss things with you in person.
The “John? I Never Knew Any John” approach.
If you want to avoid any kind of discussion with your boyfriend, one of the easiest ways to do this is to simply disappear. Don’t answer the phone, block him from your instant messenger, set up a filter in your email to delete his messages automatically, and change your cell phone number. Eventually he will get the hint and you will be rid of him. You do run the risk of having a persistent boyfriend showing up at your home or your place of work. The avoidance approach typically works best if you are in a long distance relationship. It is important to remember that, despite his many faults, your boyfriend is a person and deserves some honesty. If you can’t deal with talking to him in person, it might be better to send him a short email rather than avoiding him completely.
The “I Am Horrible, Break Up With Me” approach.
Often seen in movies, this is where you act so horrible that your boyfriend will break up with you, instead of you having to break up with him. On the plus side, it has the advantage of you not having to be the one to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings. On the downside, quite often you will end up looking silly. You are likely to get a reputation of being “John’s psycho ex” and you really want to avoid that if possible.
The No Contact Rule.
No matter which way you choose to get rid of your boyfriend, the best way to handle the fallout from the end of the relationship is to institute a “no contact” rule. This means that you will not contact your ex for thirty days. Not because you feel guilty, not because you have their U2 CD, not because you always wished him a Happy Flag Day. Give your ex a chance to get over you. Also, you need some time away from him. If you realize that you made a mistake, then fine, but still give it thirty days to make sure that it isn’t just a case of you feeling lonely. After thirty days have passed, everyone’s feelings are less volatile and therefore you have a much better chance of remaining friends.
When You REALLY Need To Get Rid Of Your Boyfriend.
There are certain instances when getting rid of your boyfriend is not just a way to date the new guy in Accounting. If your boyfriend is abusive, then you need to get rid of him right away. Although it can seem like an impossible task, it is best for you to leave as soon as you can. If your boyfriend has harmed you physically, do not stay in the house with him. Call a friend or your parents. If you do not have anyone to turn to, there are many shelters and organizations which help battered women. You can check your local phone book for the numbers. Consider filing a police report and obtaining a restraining order. Remember, there is never a reason for you to have to put up with violence or emotional abuse. No boyfriend is worth that.
Replying to Liz who is on the first page.
I know many guys/ppl have threatened the kill themselves when things go bad however Liz pls do not tell ppl out there to not believe those ppl.
I am here to say in my situation u were wrong. i broke up with my boyfriend and he went into depression and his depression kept getting worse and worse. after our break up, he quit his job, went bankrupt, maxed out his credit card bills,he never was a drinker and turned into an alcoholic after our break up. he kept begging me to take him back for 5 whole months and wouldnt leave me alone. 5 months after our break up..the weekend of our 5th anniversery since we met..
he went the lowest of low. came knocking on my door begging me to take him back or else he would kill himself and i told him to go away and that night he hanged himself and wrote me a letter saying he had to do it because of the amount of pain he was in and he couldnt live his life ithout me and he is sorry.
Liz- there are ppl out there who ARE SERIOUS about this type of stuff. majority or them yes are bluffing but my advice is that if anyone threatens to kill themselves you should call the police and tell the police. you shouldnt let the threat affect your decision making however just to make sure incase they are serious. you need to inform someone about it. also if they are bluffing and you call the police and tell them. they are most likely to get embarrassed and wont threaten their own life again or do it again however if they are serious then this means they can get the help they need to get.
there are warning signs like depression etc as well to look out for.
OH AND IF YOU WANNA BREAK UP WITH HIM STAY AWAY AND HE WILL SAY”WHY ARE YOU GETTING AWAY FROM ME” RESPONDE HIMI NEED TIME ALONE HE WILL RECONIZE YOU WANNA BREAK UP WITH HIM
i have advice,
if you have a new boyfriend and he is anoyying break up i hade one like that said super power are real(no they are not) and he set me on a spell i waz like yeah right then he said my hair will come off so i dump him (p.s. if your boyfriend says come to my house at night DO NOT DO IT!!!!I SAY AGAIN DO NOT GO TO HIS HOUSE AT MIDNIGHT!!!!!!!!)
(HE WILL MURDER YOU!!!!)
i have one but i truk him up in the bad spot
in the bed
HE WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have this boyfriend and he wont leave me alone
He wont go out and get a job
He wont let me get one
He wont leave my side
I cant even go the shop without him
He’s really paranoid
If im not with him for more than ten minutes he thinks im with someone
else cheating on him!!!!!!!!!!
He doesnt trust me at all!!!!!!!
And if he has to go somewhere when i cant go he has his friends stand outside my house waiting on me to go anywhere and they follow me everywhere……
He’s very aggrasive he hits me if i stand up to him or if i give him back cheek
im sick of this i cant get rid of him what should i do please help me ………………….
To the 13 year old sweety at your age you should not be going through any of this abuse with a young man, He doesnt make you say yes you say yes wether you want to still be with him just a little bit or you are scared of him and what would happen if you actually was done with him, he is playing with your emotions, and believe you me i understand exactly what your saying, because i am 32 years old and it is no easier with being older to get rid of a man, i have been with mine for 6 years and told him to leave he threatens me and i am scared of him, because he has had a bad past. I dont know what to do either, i just pray that i will be ok and that he will eventually leave me alone
To all the women here whose boyfriends threaten to kill themselves if you leave them… Don’t buy that crap. Guys like that will say and do anything to keep you with them, and if threatening to kill themselves works, they will say just that - but in reality, they never actually kill themselves. Just say to him, “I guess you must do what you feel is right,” walk out and don’t look back. Don’t give in to any further pleading. And lo and behold, that seemingly desperate guy will still be alive the next day, the day after that, and decades more after the beakup. Please girls, don’t let yourself be manipulated like that. You’re not being cruel if you break up with them, it’s the reality of life (and do you really want to be with someone who resorts to any means to manipulate you into staying with them?). And yes, he can live just fine without you, despite his teary-eyed statements of the opposite.
Also, as I read the comments posted here, I constantly saw uncertainty, a la “he is nasty to me, he uses me, he cheated me, but I love him and I don’t know if I should break up with him”. Yes, you do know, and yes, you should. You only have one life on this planet and this one life is a damn short one, and you don’t have to spend that life in misery. Once you see there is no future with the guy you’re currently with, break up with them. Don’t try to change them, it never works. Don’t get stuck in the “but there is true love between us!” mentality, feelings of love (whether “true” or not) don’t matter at this point. If you’re unhappy, just get the hell out and don’t be swayed by the pleading and promises that it will be “better”. I know it’s hard, I’ve been there myself. But if you manage to get through this without caving in, you’ll finally congratulate yourself. You’ll be free, there’ll be no one making your life miserable any more, and you’ll have a chance to meet someone else who you will be truly happy with.
Seriously, ladies, we all wonder why guys treat us so badly, but it’s because we let them! Don’t put up with someone who makes you feel like crap, there is a better life out there!
I’ve always been the kind of person to be friend with a guy before dating, and I decided to wait a while till i got bf cuz i dont wanna be put inthe situation of him wanting sex and wouldnt.
So my latest boyfriend was really cool and hilarious, and since im not old enough to leave alone i live with my parents : .. so one day before me and my boyfriend wenttothe movies e decided tohang at my house and my dad was cool with him and my mom freackishly kinda obsest with him whenever he would call she would be like “hey whats goin on? how are you?” and make conversation when he was calling for me. so i later discovered he was extremely clingy and i coulnt have that so i broke up wit him. ad i thught we were done so he calls me not even a week later and tao me like nothing happened andhe still ca me and my mother still answers and asks him wat up and stuff and even though i constantly tell her “stop talkin to him! were over! let go of him!” she still does it!!! HELP!
what should i do?!?
I have a boyfriend i have been with for five years off and on we have a six month old baby together I love him so much but he doesnt treat me like he should he sits there and calls me names all the time i keep telling him i dont wanna be with him but he will not leave me alone hes always cheating on me. He says if im to date anyone he threatens me. So someone give me some advice please to get rid of him.
When you start to believe a boyfriend who you haven’t seen in a long time suddenly shows up and says he is fighting a previous boyfriend of your’s I would think twice if I were you.
You may dump one guy and remain with the other, you may try to remain friends with both guys, or you dump both. This depends on your history, their history, and whether you knew if you could trust them in the first place. If you feel you could trust both men, you may find out you are a fool. You may need to step back from both to examine your thoughts and try to remember the time in September that both tried to propose to you. There parents wouldn’t let them marry you. One had the nevre to say he would walk away from his baby for you. The other simply discussed you.
Can you believe either of them. Is it better to start over again? Can you just work with both of them to solve the problem.
I don’t think so.
You may be able to work out something with one but you will never ever be safe alone with the other.
In the end it is a private matter that no one can make guesses what will happen next.