They say that all is fair in love and war, and this certainly applies to dating. Whether it's a cute classmate or a hot officemate, dating is a lot like a game of human chess: making the first move, having a definite advantage, and winning the game. In a perfect world, everyone would have one person to date. The problem is that there's always that girl or guy we all want to date, but there's just too much competition.

Rivalry can be healthy, but most of the time it just makes things worse. Dating rivalries can get very intense and personal, but most of the time it can be heartbreaking and frustrating. Some people tend to give up and say that they “don't stand a chance against the competition.” Instead of giving up all hope for one date with your campus or office crush, you can use some of these sure-fire ways to get rid of dating competition.

Set a Lot of Breathing Room

Some women like to be appreciated by having many suitors, but some find themselves used or even abused. Getting treated like a trophy date, an ornamental girlfriend, or a rebound girl is definitely one of the worst and most demeaning feelings for a girl. For guys, competition can get so frustrating that they end up fighting each other for a date.

Be very considerate about your prospect's needs. Sometimes dating competition can severely affect a person, that he or she no longer has time for family and friends. It is also very humiliating, especially when a girl is passed around in between dates and suitors. If you're really sincere about what you feel for your prospect, then you should allow him or her plenty of room to choose who he or she wants to go out with.

Be Yourself, But Stick Out

In many romantic movies, the girl always falls for the shy but dashing type who quietly looks at her from afar. In the real world, wallflower-type guys don't get noticed at all. If your prospect does not know who you are even at face value, then you stand absolutely no chance at getting a date. You may not even be in the dating competition at all.

To stand a chance against the competition, here are some ways you can improve your self-image:

• Rather than watch the action take place from the sidelines, be active.
• Ask yourself: what does your dating competition look like? Does she stand out with her long silky hair, her gorgeous makeup and her stylish clothes? Does he appeal to women with his athletic skills, boy-next-door looks, and his fancy car? If they do, then you have to beat them at their own game.
• Always look your best. Groom yourself properly. Make sure you always smell nice.
• Your choice of clothes also helps. It's also great if you wear clothes different from your usual style.
• Let your date know how talented you are. What are your exceptional skills? If you're talented in cooking, prepare a dish that will wow your date. If you're talented in singing, woo your date with a midnight serenade.

Show your prospective date that you're worth one night out, or even more. You don't have to come across as an insecure jock or a clingy fangirl for your prospect to notice you, but it's way better than blending in and vanishing with the crowd. The important thing is to be yourself, but you have to show to the world and to your prospective date that you're around, available, and ready to take on the challenge of a date.

Flirting and Building a Fence

Flirting is an important skill girls must possess if you really want to win a guy. The art of flirting is all about body language, conversational skills, humor and interpersonal communication. Here are some effective flirting tips to remember:

• Relax. Boys can easily tell when a girl is feeling nervous or shy. Nervousness also makes you stammer and sweat. It's not very attractive.
• Be careful with your body language. Aside from the conversation, this is the other half that can determine the success or failure of your style of flirting. Make sure your body language shows your romantic intentions, but in a very subtle manner. Just don't overdo it, though.
• Pay attention. It's not always about you. Let him talk and while he does, listen to him intently. It'll be embarrassing if he asks, “What do you think?,” and all you can say is, “Huh?” because you weren't listening.
• Smile. Show your pearly whites. Guys love this about girls. Smiling not only brightens your face, it also makes you look approachable.
• Stop staring. He's gorgeous all right, but keep your eyes away. Guys hate being stared at, just as much as girls do. You can make eye contact, but hold it for only a moment or two. Try fluttering your eyelids (in a very unobtrusive way), or lowering your eyes so you won't be looking at him all the time.
• Compliment. A little compliment goes a long way. Focus on details, and point out nice and noticeable things about him. Simple compliments like, “That's a nice shirt!” or, “Great haircut!” will make his day.
• Pick your words carefully. Be careful when choosing your conversation topic and even the words you use. Think before you speak. You might start a discussion he'll find boring or be uncomfortable with, or you might say something that he'll find offensive.

While girls usually flirt, guys build a fence. Like flirting, there's an art to cornering your date and make sure that she falls for you and you alone. The key to building a fence is to do it subtly so that the girl wouldn't notice it at all:

• Be obvious. Exploit every opportunity you can to talk to your crush. The more you blend into the background, the harder it is for her to notice you.
• Keep yourself interesting. Girls like guys who can entertain them. The more she enjoys herself in your company, the better chance you have at scoring a dream date.
• Keep staring. The fact that your girl is gorgeous should give you the incentive to gaze into her eyes. Be careful though, because the girl may interpret your romantic gaze in a wrong way.
• Mingle with her friends. Be jovial whenever you spend time with her and her group of friends. It shows the girl a message that you're very interested and committed to being more than her friend.
• Send inspirational messages. E-mails and text messages are a great way to communicate with your prospect. You may have come across an inspiring quote from the back of a greeting card that you want to share at three in the morning. It comes across as weird, but very romantic.

Down and Dirty

Let's face it, none of us are saints. Even the most level-headed person will get frustrated with dating competition. Desperate times call for desperate measures, especially when it comes to dates. Here are some sneaky and dirty tactics you can try to eliminate the competition.

Know Thy Enemy

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. You have to find out as much as you can about the competition. Take these into account:

• Personality: there may be some traits that your date may find disgusting or even abominable.
• Sexual orientation: if you have to resort to blackmail, you can hit your competition where it hurts.
• Hidden secrets: maybe the guy sleeps with his teddy bear and his blankie, or maybe that hot girl is a really hot man.

Blackmail involves digging up all the skeletons in your competition's closet. Here's the sneaky part: you can't ask them in person, so you have find other means to get all those juicy bits of information. If you have friends who are also close to your rival, get some facts from them. Befriending his or her friends or even siblings might also help.

Be very careful when asking or phrasing your questions, or you'll sound like an obsessed, desperate stalker. Don't prod. Just be cool and casual when asking them; That way, they won't know you're sneaking information out of them.

Back Stab

Backstabbing is not the kind of behavior you expect from human beings with a sense of right and wrong, but most of the time it works. Here are ways to do just that:

• Be friends when you're with your rival, but say negative things about him or her when he or she isn't around.
• Make sure to get the juiciest bits of negative information you can gather. Find a rumor; if you can't find one, make one.
• Don't exaggerate. You can say that the guy slept with 20,000 women, or that the girl had sex with 300 men in one night, but your date won't believe you.

Be very careful when using this tactic because it can backfire on you. Bad karma can strike ten times worse.

Hope for the Best, Expect the Worst

When worse does come to worst, there are many other people out there who you could date. You will be surprised that there's always that one person you can get along with, and could very well be the man or woman of your dreams. Put things into perspective; with over six billion people in the world, you're bound to find that one person who's worth more than one date, and definitely worth spending the rest of your life with.

Put your best foot forward whenever you're in a dating competition, put things into perspective, and put all the effort needed to win the game and the affections of your crush. Just remember that there are a lot of things in the world that are more important than dates. If you live your life fully and happily, you'll find your way into love in no time.

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