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How to get rid of stuff » Personal » How to Get Rid of Girlfriends
 

How to Get Rid of Girlfriends

December 6th, 2006 by admin
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Simon and GarfunkelA few years back Simon and Garfunkel performed a song called "Fifty Ways to Lose Your Lover." Although the song was musically satisfying, it sadly did not list the fifty ways. A close look at the lyrics reveals only three solid suggestions. They are: drop off the key, slip out the back, and hop on a bus. If the truth be told, those three are really all part of one very common way of getting rid of your girlfriend. It is known as the “cut and run” method. This method has several drawbacks in that if you share mutual friends, they will have to "choose a side" and you both can end up loosing friends in the process. One thing's for sure though; you will gain an enemy. There is a better way.

 

Sometimes things just do not work out in relationships. Part of the problem is that romance usually begins in a blinding blaze of passion. It is not necessarily a time when your brain is acting in a reasonable fashion. The passion eventually wears off and the time comes when you have to take a serious and thoughtful look at the relationship. It is helpful when this happens to have an understanding of exactly why you have a girlfriend in the first place. It is also important to define just what exactly a girlfriend is. Girlfriends are not friends that happen to be girls. That is something different. There is a much more intimate relationship involved here. It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we are all engaging in an elaborate courting ritual and its ultimate goal is usually to find a lifelong partner.

The Clean Break

If you are looking for a life long partner, you’re bound to work through a few women in your search (For pointers on searching, read the Top 10 ways to find the person of your dreams). It is very possible that somewhere along the line you will come to the conclusion that your current girlfriend is not really what you had in mind. So now you have to get rid of her, this is the time to think ahead. Do not be short-sighted because it's easier than you think to cause a mess worthy of daytime television.
    Talking in restaurant
  1. Choose the Right Place. It is not a good idea to pick out the most romantic place you can find to break the news. Taking a girl out to a romantic place is going to prime her for something totally different than a talk about how you have determined that you just are not all that much "in to her" anymore, regardless of how honest that might be. On the other hand, an email or text message on her cell phone is not good either. If you really want her gone, you need to do it face to face so she can have closure and begin putting it behind her. A public place works best because it will usually act to restrain her from making a big scene. You also want to make sure she has her own way home.
  2. Take The Blame. One of the biggest problems people (both men and women) have these days is a selfish and weak tendency to blame everything that goes wrong on someone or something else. Don’t destroy the poor girls self esteem, or cause her to react with anger and become defensive. Tell her she didn’t do anything wrong, and that it is all your fault. The fact is, she is going to blame you anyway, and if you wanted to argue with her, you might as well not even bother breaking up.
    3. Drunk
  3. Be Strong. Breaking up needs to be an all or nothing deal. You are not going to be able to get rid of her if your suggestion is to slow down. Ex-lovers are a bit like alcohol in this respect. You need to stop completely. If you decide to take a little sip on a slow Saturday night, you are going to get hooked again, and she is going to be bugging you trying to get more face time. As you’re breaking it off with her and taking the blame, explain clearly that there is nothing that she or anyone else can do to reverse the decision. Then you have to be strong and stick with it. If you part amicably and decide to remain friends, that’s great but tell her that you still need complete separation for a while, even if she gets angry at this – stick to it!
    4. Walking
  4. Stay Away. Now that you've broken the news, taken the blame, and showed her there is no hope of rekindling the relationship you should stay away from her and have absolutely no contact. If you decided to part as friends, she still needs time to stop thinking of you as her lover and move on, and you need to make sure that she gets it or you’re not going to be friends. Start talking again too early and she’ll want to fall back on old habits, and all it takes is a single moment of weakness for you to either give in or tell her off. Let her start dating again and find another boyfriend while you go out and start dating other women and once you think enough time has passed then shoot her an email to test the waters and if she’s still friendly then take it slow and ease back into a normal friendship.
This method works well with mature, self-confident women but it does have one serious drawback. Some women will become obsessed with you and simply not allow you to stay away. She may start stalking you through your circle of friends, showing up at your work, or threatening you. If this happens, you need to think strategically or soon you just might find yourself on the Jerry Springer show. You need to get her to stop as soon as possible, and only you know what the fastest way to do this is. Sit down by yourself or with a friend who can remain serious and examine her actions. Contrast her actions against what you know of her personality and past. Make a plan that will cause her to loose interest – you already know that forcefulness only made her more determined so you need to hatch a plan that will cause her to loose interest of her own volition. Be very careful here, it’s easy to go overboard – and if you do then you may be facing a whole lot of obsessive hate instead of a whole lot of obsessive love. Don't piss her off, just create the right conditions for her to 'decide' that you're no longer worth her obsession.
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  1. July 12th, 2011 at 12:38 pm    Sameer s rol Says:

    Plz hv a glance ovr d ln wrttn blw. . . .
    Hey guys if your love is true plz continue.. . . . . . .
    Hey guys if she is true to u plz plz u to try to be true wd hr I thnk such relatn wl be rare. . . .
    If she is just tkng it as a tmpas dn its btr to break dis bt dnt do ny hrm to hr. . .
    One or othr day u’l fnd ur rgt grl
    ””hey guys Im to in relatn nd my grl is so sweet,crng,nd she my 2nd nxt rspt woman in my life””
    I dnt thnk I’m tru to hr bt I dnt wnt hr to gt ot of my life
    Nw hr lv fr me md also made me 2 love hr we r a hply cupls
    : plz pray ds relatn I wnt hr vry mch :

  2. July 13th, 2010 at 1:22 pm    Franklin Says:

    Here are 10 tested ways to get rid of that girlfriend who just won’t go away.

    1. go to prison on a 5-10 stint.
    2. Tell her your work is relocating you to Malaysia, and actually move to Malaysia.
    3. Let her find kiddie porn on your computer.
    4. Let her catch you having sex with another man. (this is the best one, because she won’t take it personally).
    5. Let her catch you having sex with the dog.
    6. Try to seduce her mother.
    7. Pick a fight with her father.
    8. Develop a gambling addiction and drain her bank account.
    9. Go on hormones and get a sex change operation.
    10. Beat her until she needs to be hospitalized.

  3. June 12th, 2010 at 10:10 pm    wheres-da-eject-button? Says:

    I like the humor in some of the “tips”, they temporarilly make me forget the psychotic world i got captured in!!

    I have cheated… and nothing. treated her like crap, nothing. threaten to call DEA and child services on her… NOTHING. called the cops and claim her abuse and peace disturbance… nothing. Told her she is fat. Told her family and parents i don’t want her with me… nothing (except her parents hate me, shocking). Called her the “C” word and everything else that conjugates with F..ing, …still nothing! I broke up with her nicelly and vebally abuselly, even by text. SHE WON’T LEAVE!

    I even stop having intercourse or pleasing her. I can’t get rid of her.

    …then it hit me!…

    she is a woman, so there is an abundance of inconsideration, pitty, lazzyness, financial dependancy, opiate dependance, stubburness, lots and lots of drama, paranoya, complex of inferiority, masoquism, hallucigenic memmory, selfishness and mind blowing BJ’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ha!… my fellow man, we chased them to get some… why, ’cause we were determined. Those of us who can’t get rid of them is because we lost our determination.

    But I’m willing to swap my girl for yours anyday!.. (or should i say?.. night?)

    Good luck dudes!

  4. May 24th, 2010 at 11:25 am    eric perez Says:

    Well if you wanna break up just go up top the girl and say……m “ITS OVER”

  5. June 14th, 2009 at 9:44 am    Jose Camaron Says:

    For God’s sake, the word is “lose”, not “loose”. “Loose” refers to a different kind of girl.

    The only place that you spelled it correctly was in the title of the Simon and Garfunkel song. And that wasn’t even right because the song is “Fifty Ways to LEAVE Your Lover.”

  6. October 18th, 2008 at 3:14 am    jarrod Says:

    i just want to do it with my girl now i dont want to date her…. i want to do it with her and other girls…. i dont know what to do. i like her but i like other girls better. what do i do. awwwwww!

  7. October 1st, 2008 at 6:29 am    Bruce Says:

    This all may work in some situations but I have a much diffrent problem. My girlfriend has lived with me for 1 1/2 year, she has 2 kids, one 5 and another 10, both are in school. She has no friends, nowhere to go, is working but can’t seam to hold down a job, poor with money. She is 30 and I am 46. I have tried everything, taken the blame, told her it was over in a rage arguement, in a cool discussion and she just don’t get it.

  8. August 5th, 2008 at 11:20 pm    tips from a girl Says:

    Just tell her the truth and be honest no matter what. Things like sleeping with her best friend are only going to hurt her, and take away the person that she needs to cry to most.

    Tell her it’s over, be there for her while she cries and don’t kick her out until she’s not crying so much that it’s unsafe for her to drive or anything. Help her pack her things. Give her a hug and let her know that you won’t be answering the phone if she calls because you’ll be out with the guys. And actually go out with the guys. And if the relationship was over a year long, wait for at least two months before publicly dating someone else.

  9. August 5th, 2008 at 5:52 am    freedomfighter Says:

    tell her that her mom has a nice butt

  10. July 6th, 2008 at 11:12 pm    nick Says:

    start a fight with a mate and start fighting over another girl
    or just say im not gay but ill learn

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