Ok, first of all, you parents who are complaining. Stop. If this was some bum off the street what would you do. Kick them out. The worst thing that most here are doing is making excuses for these kids. This is hard but you have to separate your emotional attachment and sense of responsibility to these kids (A.D.D or not) and send them down the hard road of self dependence. I bet all of you say the following: if my kid was hooked on crack, I would help them the best I could, but once my efforts failed I would le them fall and hope that they come out alive on the other end. Well short of them dying, they will be fine out on their own. Let me put it this way, as long as they know they have your heart (No matter what your mouth says) they have you, and if they have you, they have a place to stay and all the “free” amenities your love will supply..again no matter what your mouth says. Its very hard, but you have to let them find their own place, even if they have to spend a night on the streets or a friends couch. They will survive if you let them. By giving in to them because you love them, you are only making it harder for them to move forward in life. And your misguided love has more to do with it, than you think. Sorry to be hard, but that is the truth. And for the record, I had juvenile A.D.D up till about 21, and have raised 4 very well adjusted kids. And yes I had to put one of them out on his own. Hardest thing I ever had to do. He now 5 yrs later tells me its the best thing I could have ever done for him. He said before that, he was content just sitting around on my dime while partying the nights away and sleeping the days away. Now he has a great job. In fact he makes more money than the rest of the kids and is doing great. Put your parenting heart aside and show these kids that they can “launch” and they will be fine. no more excuses mom n dad. As far as the step parent or parent who has no voice because of the other parent. Get others to tell your spouse the reality of the situation. Like a life coach. Your to emotionally involved as far as they are concerned so they won’t believe you.

Im sorry to all of you but here is the real issue wife she has an 18year old daughter not mine lazy dead beat doesnt have to do anything now why cuz she is prego with tattoos and huh imagine that all her friends she has or are having one and have tattoos get the picture and she’s been kicked out more than once for being a deadbeat but huh imagine that mom wont kick me out now geeee and she admited she didnt use caution gee wonder and huh the daddies name as my wifes ex that left hmmm and mom well you can forget about any getting her daughter a job or anything like that now did I mention a fn slobbbbb our house is a pit and we have a 7 year old of our own shes supposed to get a job she is on court supervision too yet now she doesnt have to because mom doesnt push like before to get a job because she can play the prego card yet my wifes too heart felt to realize that I know if my mom didnt make me go out and get a job along time ago like shes doing to her why should I find a job sure she talks about a job but actions speak louder than words I know I told my parents I was looking but was I really uh no cuz I knew how to play them just like shes doing to her mom.ps its one thing to care its another to do everything for your deadbeat because shes playing you and another to not do anything for the one your married to and treat your son like hes second best.

My husband and I have 2 chidlren a 16 and 21 year old , they kids dont get along at all and despise each other and the tension is so bad in our house its making life miserable, our son has add and cant keep a job still lives at home and we try to encourage him and nothing works , people say kick him out where will he go ……… he pays no rent nothing for food does nothing but lay around and watch tv and play video games and when my daughter gets home ughhhhh the fighting starts and she digs in and the worst is supper time when I work hard to make a nice meal and then the nit picking starts. I just want to curl up in the corner and scream. She runs her mouth that its not fair he is here its my time to get what I want not him …… I could go on and on and I am sure I am not the only one thats not in the same boat. I often wonder if there is some kind of help out there for his ADD problem…. to help him find a job and learn the skills he needs he certainly did not get them here . I dont no what to do any more. I cant get through to him. All the jobs he has had he is not fast enough or cant pick it up fast enough to keep up. His attention is not great, cant stay on task. if anyone has any ideas i could really use the help.

We are 63 yrs old. we have a 36 yr old daughter that lives in our home. she has 2 daughters by different husbands. she was on drugs lost her kids and has now regained 50% visitation rights with 1 daughter and occassional visits with the other daughter. she is drug free we think. she works for our oldest son. she only shows up to work when she wants to. she works just a few hours a day. my son pays her minimum wage. we need to get her out of our life. i have paid her rent in apartments before. but once i stop (after a year) with the payments and put the lease in her name she gets evicted. now she can’t qualify for a rental apartment. we want to put everything she owns in bags and put it outside. we gave her a year to move out. that date has now passed. do we just kick her out that way. we are ready to do this if it is the correct thing to do. we know what we should do, but we just need conformation that we are correct.

My husband is sooooo sick he has had chest pains; this is a very serious problem; there not his blood children and has done everything he can and better than the blood father. My daughter and her boyfriend moved into our basement suite last november; we did not really know anything about this guy. Then my son was having trouble and my husband offered for him to move-in with us under certain conditions and he agreed; if he falterd on anyone thing in the contract he had to leave. It only last 2 wks and he was to go now the boyfriend of my daughter has move my son in to there place and has been very spitefull and to top this off my son has once again not payed a dime for anything. Last year we moved him in and unfortunely it lasted 3 months and again we seen a measley 200 dollars. My daughter and I are caught in the middle and its been Hell. Since they move in we have had several family meeting; this boyfriend thinks it childish to have these meeting and will not attend any more. We are frustfrated and have asked them to move; where not so sure it will happen. Is there anyone that can give us some insight on how to move these adult chilren out. Cheers, Brenda

I am so glad to see that I am not the only one in the world dealing with a situation like this. My boyfriend has a 21 year old son who is doing nothing with his life and my boyfriend is allowing him to live under our roof debt free with no responsibility. Unfortunately, it’s hard for me to leave him because we have a child of our own and I don’t want her raised in a broken home. I am all for raising a child to be responsible and learning the value of a dollar but I have serious concerns with my boyfriend and how he parents his son. You know what they say…. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Lazy parents produce lazy kids. If your kids don’t have the drive to get out of your house and make a life for themselves it’s either because theres something medically wrong with them, or more likely you didn’t instill a work ethic into them growing up. This is whats wrong with todays world, your kids don’t owe you anything. If you decide to have kids do a good job raising them, then you won’t have lazy kids with no morals or work ethic. People complaining about their kids not even cleaning their rooms, your supposed to teach kids to clean their rooms when they are 4 years old not 24!

Here is one think I want you all to think about and this is a fact:

Your kids are exactly who you raised them to be.

Wow, I just typed this topic in my browser and ended up here.I feel so much better knowing that I am hardly alone in dealing with this, which I feel is totally sapping my well being and mental health. I have a 22 year old son who is making NO moves at all to be independent and I fear that he will never fly the coop, leaving me miserable. I am a 40 year old mother who raised him alone, and I feel it’s high tome I had an enjoyable life of my own. I’ve tried starving him most recently, cutting off money, no internet, etc. If I could I’d cut the electric off while I’m at work and he’s home sleeping. I’ve given him ultimatums and he will then go find a low paying job just long enough to shut me up, and then use all the money he makes buying crap. I’m seriously considering moving and not telling him where I live. I’m tired of feeling sorry for him…what about me? I need a fulfilling life!!!

Throw the bums out !!

Try this restrict or turn off the internet or change password, password the TV box blocking everything, if they want to “borrow” money hold their Xbox hostage until paid back. Stock the frig with foods you love and they hate. These are all the things my wife won’t let me do. Life is good for my two as they made all these yuppie choices with a slacker pocketbook and now they are back. Joke is- in not too long they will be as old as me and want to retire: to what, on what???????????????