You can’t help but like yourself more than the average person. You’re perfect, you’re sublime. You’re the portal to perfection, the benchmark of excellence. You glow with a light that shines from within, you’re beyond good and evil, you are at the center of the universe. You think of it as self-esteem, but the people around you think otherwise. In fact, some people may think that you’re nothing more than a steaming pile of monkey manure walking on two legs.

If you can’t walk in front of a mirror without staring and admiring yourself, or if you feel too overconfident about yourself, then you may be suffering from narcissism. Excessive self-love can sometimes develop into a psychiatric disorder called narcissistic personality disorder. While it’s normal to have a healthy dose of self-esteem, overconfidence is often your worst enemy. Here are some steps to help you get rid of overconfidence and too much self-love.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by the following signs:

• Overconfidence
• Excessive self-love
• A cold, insensitive, apathetic feeling towards other people
• Inability to show care, concern, and other emotions
• Preoccupied with delusions of fame, fortune, and self-importance
• Arrogant and haughty behavior
• Prone to exploiting other people for his or her benefit.

The term “narcissism” comes from the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus. In the myth, a nymph fell in love with a young man named Narcissus. Narcissus was very vain, and did not reciprocate the love of the nymph. Narcissus grew thirsty, and when he bent down to take a drink at a pool of water, he fell in love with his own reflection. He kept looking at his reflection until he died of thirst, hunger, and too much self-love. A flower grew in the spot where he died, and was named after him.

Narcissists suffer the same fate as Narcissus; although they don’t die from looking at their reflections, nor do flowers grow in the spot where they expire. Narcissists have very few friends, and don’t have much of a social life. People feel very uncomfortable about a narcissist, and may avoid them altogether.

Get a Grip

It’s often the case that narcissism is a form of denial. Narcissists are often overbearing to hide deep-seated insecurities about themselves. A narcissist would play up his or her strengths, while ignoring or denying weaknesses. You may have narcissistic tendencies because of how you were raised, or because of certain failures and frustrations you faced in life. Narcissism is also viewed as a defense mechanism against shame.

Before you start thinking too highly of yourself, get a grip and come to terms with reality. You’re not as perfect or as mighty as you think you are. While there are a lot of things you’re good at, there are also a lot of things that you’re not good at. You have to openly accept and admit to yourself that you’re not as good as you think, so you have to strive to live up to your own expectations of yourself.

Swallow Your Pride

If you have narcissistic tendencies, you should know by now that what goes up must definitely come down. You may think highly of yourself because you succeeded in some parts of your life, but that doesn’t mean that you should bank on those successes all the time. If you fall hard, you’ll have to swallow a lot of your pride and show to everyone that you’re not as successful or invincible as what you always thought you were.

Narcissists also tend to see themselves as people incapable of making mistakes. If they do make mistakes, they’ll blame it on other people. When you do make a mistake, take responsibility for them and accept them as yours. Remember that you’re only a human being, so you’ll end up making your own fair share of mistakes.

Prepare for Humble Pie

There’s an old saying that goes, “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” If you’re a narcissist, you have to be prepared to eat a hefty serving of humble pie. Defeat and failure wait at the doorstep of many a narcissist, and a much-needed serving of humble pie usually doesn’t get delivered late.

Humble pie doesn’t taste good, especially if you need to take back everything you think about yourself. It never feels good to feel like a chump, but it’s often the best way to bring you back to the real world. When you’re humbled, it’s best to learn and apply the lessons from that experience.

Put Up, or Shut Up

A narcissist tends to play up his or her skills so much that they think they’re better than everyone else. People put a lot of value in the words others say. When you say you’re the best at something, you have to be prepared to prove it to everyone you tell it to. Remember that if you think so much of yourself, people will expect the same from you.

Sometimes it’s better to downplay your own skills and prove that you’re better than what you say you are, than to hype yourself up and fail to deliver when needed. If you say you’re a good singer, then be prepared to win talent contests. If you list down skills and qualifications on a resume, be prepared to live up to and even exceed them. The proof is always in the pudding; always remember that if you claim to be the best, chances are there are more than a few people out there who are better than you.

Keep Praise in Check

If you have children, you can raise potential narcissists if you heap too much praise on them. It’s OK to praise your child for good things he or she does, but you need to discipline them in the correct way if they do something wrong. You can praise a child for making good artwork, but not if they make ones that failed in art class, or if they make “artwork” on a white tile floor.

Treat your children fairly. Kids need to be praised for good things they do, but not for bad things they do or if they do not measure up to your expectations and their own ones as well. A healthy balance between heaps of praise and strict reminders to do good is what you need to raise a child with a well-developed and mature sense of self.

Seek Professional Help

Excessive self-love and self-praise can sometimes lead to, or be a symptom of, narcissistic personality disorder. (NPD). NPD, or pathological narcissism, can put a tremendous strain in a patient’s relationship with other people. Those who suffer from NPD may not be aware that they have the disease. It will take a lot of convincing power to persuade someone to see a psychiatrist who could help with the condition. Try your best to reason with an overly narcissistic person, and convince him or her to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will then prescribe the necessary medications or perform the necessary psychiatric treatments to restore a normal, healthy social life for the patient.

It’s tough love, but sometimes you need to take a few stumbles and falls here and there to get in touch with your humanity. We all make mistakes, and we can never be right all the time. Unless you want people to view you as a big bag of hot air, then you have to get a grip and plant your feet firmly on the ground. In the right amounts, self-esteem and self-confidence can work wonders for you. Just keep these positive traits in check, and you won’t have problems dealing with the people around you.