The rage builds up inside of you every time you see his or her face, or have a glimpse of his or her shadow. You feel like your heart is being trampled by the iron hooves of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: this person deserves to be conquered, destroyed, and starved.

Face it --- there's nothing that will ever please you on the face of this planet than to see this sorry excuse of a human being die. Your deep-seated hatred for this person seeps down the very marrow of your bones. You despise this being with the fury and heat of the blood that flows through your very veins. You're face to face with your mortal enemy.

We all have enemies, but some people have an immense hatred for one particular enemy. The thought of a mortal enemy can be a consuming thought for some people. They may even be obsessed about revenge, vengeance, and retribution, to the point that they no longer enjoy a healthy and happy relationship with others. If you're consumed by thoughts about what you want to do with your mortal enemy, here are some ways to help you get rid of that ill feeling.

Justify Your Hatred

If you have a mortal enemy, you have to ask yourself why and how you got in the feud in the first place. Here are some common reasons on why people have mortal enemies:

• Childhood trauma. Children who were once bullied in school sometimes develop a hatred for their bullies, and often consider them their “mortal enemies” later in life. Many strong feelings are formed and developed during a person's formative years. A child may also develop a strong hatred for abusive parents, bad teachers, or other authority figures.
• “Unforgivable” offenses. Some people can develop ill will against others when they commit an act that's very difficult to forgive. The family of a murder victim can harbor hatred against the person who killed their loved one. A woman may have an ax to grind against her attacker or rapist. Some people may make mortal enemies out of people who owe them money or goods.
• Hate addiction. There are some people who are “addicted” to hate, and cannot get over life without having an outlet for their hatred. Hate addicts are prone to making mortal enemies because of their beliefs, convictions, or because they get personal and emotional satisfaction from hating other people.

The important thing is that you have to justify your hatred. It's OK to despise somebody because you don't find it in the goodness of your heart to forgive and forget, although you'll have to do so eventually.

Hatred Does Not Motivate

You must remember that hatred is a burden that you bear. Some people think that by remembering a mortal enemy, they have a good “motivation” to excel at school or in their career. All too often, people who are consumed by the thought of a mortal enemy only end up making enemies of other people. You may see an image of your mortal enemy in another person, and end up hating that person as well.

While most people do have enemies, most of them can get through life without having a mortal enemy. There are many other things that can motivate you just as well as, or even better than, a mortal enemy. Going home to your family is a good motivator for work. Getting rewarded for an excellent performance in school is a good incentive to study. While some people are successful because they had their detractors, having a mortal enemy distracts you from realizing your goals.

Prepare Yourself

If you do have a mortal enemy, you have to dedicate part of your life to making amends and forgiving that person. There will come a time that you'll confront the person you hate so much, and you'll have to settle your differences one way or another.

Your life doesn't have to revolve around your mortal enemy, although you need to take the time to prepare yourself for that day that your paths cross. While some people would like to live the rest of their lives without having to confront their mortal enemy, most of the time they'll eventually meet face to face.

Here are some steps to help you prepare yourself for the inevitable confrontation:

• Recall the history of the grudge. What was it that made you hate your mortal enemy so much? What did he or she do to you that you find so hard to forgive and forget?
• Recall the length of the grudge. How long have you been holding the grudge against that person? Have you been enemies since childhood? Were you once friends, and then ended up falling apart because of what your friend once did?
• Recall the intensity of the grudge. How much do you hate the person? Do you want to harm him or her physically, emotionally, or both? Are you willing to live the rest of your life with a bit of hatred for that person?

Take Your Time

You don't have to rush patching things up with your mortal enemy. Live your life as fully as you can. Remember that resolving the conflict with your mortal enemy does not take overnight. You both have to settle some issues in your own lives, and you both have to mature before you can deal with the issues you have with each other's lives.

It's often said that time heals all wounds. You also need to deal with some things in your life that are far more important than resolving the hatred you have with someone. A lot of things in your life also need attention, like family, friends, school, and work. It's not that you're escaping the situation or that you're delaying the inevitable, but you're just making priorities. When the time comes that you have to resolve your conflict, you'll be able to deal with the situation as rational, level-headed grown-ups.

The Easy Way and The Hard Way

Dealing with enemies will always involve the easy way and the hard way:

• The easy way is to let your feelings go. You may cry, bawl out all your frustrations, or even resort to some degree of violence. The easy way helps, especially if you have held your anger locked deep inside you for too long.
• The hard way is to keep calm, civil, and deal with your mortal enemy as diplomatically as possible. You can set up a casual dinner, get to know what's up with each other's lives, and exchange some chatter. Eventually, you'll have to settle your differences with your mortal enemy in the nicest way possible.

Now you deal with your mortal enemy is all up to you. It's still best to do things the “hard way,” where you take into consideration the feelings and emotions of your mortal enemy. He or she is still a human being, and may be genuinely sorry about the things he or she did to you before. You don't have to be friends at the end of the day, you just have to stop being enemies.

In the “Star Wars” universe, Master Yoda once said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” It's normal to have angry emotions, to think ill of people who have wronged us, and to have an enemy for quite a while. Yet you don't have to live your life in hate and rage because of a mortal enemy. Once you get rid of your mortal enemy, you can live your life in peace and start walking along the long road to forgiveness and happiness.