There's this unpleasant memory that nags your brain once in a while. It comes up at random moments, several times a day. When you see something or someone you can relate to it, it comes up again. You even have nightmares about it at night. No matter what you do, it inhibits you in a very perverse and negative way. Being haunted by an unpleasant and painful memory is frustrating. Not only does it take your concentration from important stuff, it also builds up personality problems like insecurities, inferiority complex (learn how to get rid of inferiority complex) and low self-esteem (Tips on how to build self-esteem). You might not notice it, but a bad memory can slowly destroy you. It can even make you do shocking acts, like throw tantrums, hurt other people or hurt yourself. You don't have to be bothered by a bad memory all your life. There are ways to deal with it and make it go away before it totally ruins you. Try these tactics and soon you can kiss that memory goodbye.

 

Why Does It Haunt You? Bad memories come in different forms. The first step when letting one go is acknowledging why it affects you in the first place. Why can't you forget it? What particular emotion have you attached to that thought? Knowing these facts will help you to deal with that memory and help you determine how to get rid of it. It allows you to acknowledge what kind of trauma you got from it. You have a bad memory stuck in your mind probably because:

1. You were embarrassed. You fell down a flight of stairs on your butt, and when you landed, your skirt flopped up, and everyone saw your underwear.
2. You were angry. Your co-worker blackmailed you and stole your idea, and everyone congratulated him for it.
3. You were hurt. Your fiancee left you at the altar without any explanation.
4. It scared you. You survived a car accident, while your friend sitting inches away from you didn't.
5. It made you insecure. Your boyfriend told you “I'm breaking up with you because I found someone prettier/better/smarter”.

Think about why it affects you and how you feel about it. As soon as you recognize the emotion and the trauma, you can now start to get rid of it.

 

Let Everything Go, Literally You can blame your mind for all the bad thoughts you remember, but do you know the things you see, feel, and hear around you also triggers them too? For example, you still keep all the love letters the boyfriend you caught sleeping with another woman gave you. You still have a copy of the chemistry test you flunked and were scolded for. All these physical stuff might seem harmless at first, but having them around does nothing for your effort to forget the bad memory. In fact, they may be the very reason why it's still got a strong hold on you.

 

Before you can say goodbye to the bad memory, say goodbye to everything that reminds you of it first. Gather all the things that you attach to it. If your bad memory is romance-related, stop listening to mushy love songs (Specially these Top 10 most painful break-up songs). Don't go to places that remind you of that incident. No matter how significant they may be to you, you have to leave them behind. Purge your life of all these stuff as soon as you can, and soon, you'll have a hard time remembering that memory.

 

Hocus Focus It happens all the time. You're working or doing something important, when all of a sudden, that memory sneaks in your head. Your mind then starts to wander, and before you know it, you've lost yourself, wasted time, and you haven't finished anything. Haven't you noticed that when you dwell on bad memories, you start losing your concentration on things that are important to your life? At first, it's no big deal, but when it happens more and more frequently, it can pose very serious problems in your personal life, your academics, or your job. Don't let this happen. As soon as you realize the bad memory is trying to creep in again, try and shake it off. Concentrate and keep your focus steady. Keep reminding yourself that you have to finish whatever you're doing and no unpleasant thought is going to take you away from it. Don't even let other people around you disturb you. Even when you're not doing something important, keep yourself busy and happy. Be involved in fun activities or find a good outdoor sport to channel out your energy. Travel to fun places. As long as you're enjoying yourself, there's no reason for you to mope around and keep thinking of that annoying memory. Soon enough, you'll be free from its grasp.

 

It's Inspiration Letting a bad memory affect you in a negative way is easy. You can cry, be angry, bitter or remorseful, but that's all you can do about it. You can't change what happened anymore, so instead of making you feel worse, why not look at it in a different, more positive light? Turn it into a source of inspiration. It might have not done something good for you in the past, but hopefully, it'll serve as a lesson for you in the future. For example, you've been in a near-death driving accident. Instead of being traumatized and staying away from driving, think about what you've done wrong on the road and swear that you won't be committing the same mistake again. Let the memory be a reminder of whatever blunder you've made, so in case you ever find yourself in the same situation, you'll know what to do for it to turn out right.

 

Out With The Old, In With The New Let's say you own a nice pair of shoes. They look really great on your feet, but since you keep using them, they become worn out in time. Eventually, the heel becomes battered, and it becomes painful to use it for walking. The same goes with bad memories. The more you dwell on it, the more it scars you, until it becomes too painful to think about. These two very different dilemmas have one solution: get new ones. The best way of letting something go is to find a new one to replace it. Go and make new memories to replace those that has scarred you. If you got dumped, find a new love. If you had trouble at work, resign and start over at another employment. By doing this, you're not just moving on, but you're also taking another shot at being happy and contented.

 

Find A Shoulder To Cry On Dealing with a problem, a memory, or a trauma all by yourself can be nerve-wracking. No matter how brave or strong-minded you are, it's still better if there is someone there to support and listen to you through your worst times. Go to your friends or your family and spend time with them. Tell them what bothers you and let them listen. They may not see what you see, but they'll surely understand the pain you're going through. They can also give you heartwarming advice and words of wisdom to help you ease the memory away. These people care for you and your well-being, so drawing strength from them really helps. If you are interested, learn exact how does memory work. If you want expert help, consulting a counselor is also a good idea. He or she will see you in sessions, listen to your memory dilemma intently, and give you positive and effective advice. Your counselor can also tell you if you need to take medications or anything that can help improve your condition.

 

Forgiving Is Forgetting Sometimes, we're not responsible for the bad things that happen to us, but they are cause by other individuals. Think about that other person. Do you have any adverse feelings against him or her? Maybe the reason you haven't let go of the bad memory is you're still holding a grudge against the person who did you wrong. The best thing to do is to forgive him or her. It seems difficult, but it's the best way to let go of your negative emotion and the bad memory. Tell yourself that it's all in the past, and that grudges don't do anything except hurt you. The other person might not even know you have something against him or her. Communicate directly with that person. Set up a meeting, or if that's too much, just send a card or a letter to him or her. When you open up yourself, it makes you feel lighter and better. After you've gotten the closure you wanted, you'll be able to move on and let go of the bad memory.

 

We remember things for a lot of reasons. It can be because it made you happy, or it was a significant event, or because you learned something from it. Memories are good, but when negative ones start to affect you morosely, you have to let it go. Try these tips if you have one lingering in your mind.