Posted on: November 25, 2008 Posted by: Nicole Harding Comments: 6

Do you have the problem of an old ex hanging around, crowding your space? Do they refuse to leave you alone, or are they constantly trying to keep in contact with you when you don’t want them to? It can be a tricky situation to deal with, but it doesn’t have to be. Dealing with an ex can be bothersome, and may sometimes hinder you moving on with your life. You have various options for getting rid of an ex. Follow the suggestions in this article to try and get rid of that ex for good.

1. Create distance.

Maybe all you need is a bit of space to get rid of that ex. This may not be possible if you share a workplace, a group of friends, or attend the same school, but otherwise it can be easily done.

Try and avoid going to the same social gatherings that you and your ex often attend, or avoid meeting up with them for coffee or dates.

In serious cases you may find that the best thing to do is to move away and put some space between you. You don’t have to leave town or anything, but maybe just move out of the same building or neighborhood. A little space can go a long way, to keep your ex from making unwanted visits. You could move across town, or maybe even further away. Perhaps start a new life in a new city? Or maybe move to Mexico!!!

2. Avoid them.

A more extensive solution to get an ex out of your life is to avoid any and all contact. If they constantly call or email you, change your number and email. Alternatively you could block their number and email from contacting you. You can consider “unfriending” them on Facebook as well if you are Facebook friends.

Changing your number can be a hassle, leaving you with the trouble of contacting all of your friends and family with your new number or address. You might be able to easily do this via social media or with mass messaging, just be careful that your ex doesn’t get a hold of your new information, or all will be for naught. Another thing to remember is that changing your number may cost you money, depending on your service provider.

3. Talk to them.

Sometimes it can be as easy as talking to someone to resolve a situation. If you haven’t discussed your issue with your ex, how are they to know? If you want space, or if you want them to leave you alone, politely state this in a way that they may understand. You can contact them in person, by phone, social media, or even email, or consider getting a third party to deliver this message for you.

It’s important to remember that you want to get your point across, so be clear and courteous. Be careful not to get drawn into an argument though, making contact again might give them the opportunity to start some drama that you do not want anything to do with. So just make your point and leave it at that, don’t draw out the conversation. If they don’t listen, then perhaps more drastic measures are in order.

4. Get a restraining order.

This suggestion is usually used for extreme cases only. If things have crossed a line, as in your ex is stalking you or absolutely refuses to leave you alone, then perhaps a restraining order is what you need.

Restraining orders need cause to obtain, so this avenue may not be for everyone. You will need just cause to file a restraining order. To start the process, you can obtain the paperwork from your local courthouse. You may want to consider consulting with a lawyer, as this is a legal matter. After you have filled and filed the required paper work, it will go through an approval process. If you are successful in making your case for keeping your ex away, you will have a legal document that will enforce the distance between you. If they persist, or violate the restraining order, then the police can detain them.

5. End it for good.

If you are having trouble getting rid of an ex, maybe you haven’t made yourself clear on things. Do not string them along or lead them on. Do not re-strike a physical or emotional relationship with them. You have to end things for good. Sometimes that means breaking all contact.

This may not be the nicest thing, or even the easiest thing to do, but it may be necessary. Sometimes many problems are caused because things did not end clearly between the two of you. If you are breaking up with somebody, avoid being passive aggressive! While it may be difficult, try saying something like “I am breaking up with you, and I do not want to be with you anymore. And that is final.” Being clear with your ex can save you a lot of hassle!

6. Date someone else.

Sometimes your ex is clearly not getting the message that you are not interested in them any longer. A solid way to convince them that you have moved on is to move on! Try dating someone else. You may find this will help you get over your ex as well, and it is an obvious way to show them you are no longer on the market.

7. Show respect.

Whatever happens, try not to lose your head. You used to have feelings for this person, and chances are they might still share feelings for you. Even if you do not want to be with them any longer, take the high road. Don’t lose control of your emotions! This may be what they want you to do.

Showing respect can help you effectively convince an ex that you do not want to be with them any longer. Some girls or guys take resistance as a sign that you are playing ‘hard to get,’ when this is not in fact the case. Anger is not the answer! Respect them, and hopefully they will have the grace to respect your opinion in return.

Remember that it may not be easy to get rid of an ex, but the tips above should help. Remember that the best place to start is by talking to them, ask them to leave you alone, and explain that you want things to end for good. After that you can try to avoid them by changing your contact information, or blocking theirs. You also have the option to move away to create some distance. If all else fails, and you fear for your safety, you can file for a restraining order. Best of luck to you as you move on to bigger and better things!

6 People reacted on this

  1. Jennifer,I have an ex of 11 years and she too,is a royal pain in the ass.She thinks that she is God’s gift to men.She will not leave me alone after all these years.I finally told her,Look,you weren’t the best thing that ever hit this earth,that would be me.If you think that you are,you should go soul searching and see just how terrible you really are.
    If that doesn’t work,take a guy to where you know he’ll be dining.Be all lovey-dovey(even if this guy is just a friend).Let him see first hand that you can live without him and that he isn’t nor will he ever be God!

  2. I have a ex partner he is bulling and a control freak hes turned everyone against me hes turned my 2 sons against me my 23 yr old son attacked me yesterday i got a injuction on my ex. really my ex has just made my life a livung hell im scared because i dont really know how to get rid of him i need him banished from my life for ever please can you help me im really on my own help me please

  3. I understand all of this, but i have to ask, what if he’s suicidal, self pity, whiny, and sensitive? I don’t want to hurt him, but i’ve told him no alot. and i am the time that falls for lines, though i know getting back with him would be a disaster. what do i do?

  4. I have an ex who was too chicken to break up with me – I had to do it for him as he wasn’t happy and making us both miserable. He said at the time he needed space, it wasn’t me it was him, I deserved better (the usual bull) so fine – bit of messing about afterwards – he started going out with someone else and told me he was sorry that I had feelings for him – that everything that happened after we broke up meant nothing – he didn’t have those feelings for me only wanted to be friends. broke my heart all over again so stopped talking to him – took me years to get over him and when I finally decided I was ok, I can be friends with him. Back mates and bam – one month later he tells me he’s in love with me and always was – now he tells me he wants the best for me would be delighted if I met someone but yet is very clingy and always wants to know what I’m up to. How do you get rid of that guy?

  5. Lol jennifer! Were you also married to my ex? he most certainly thinks he is god….and gods gift. biggest narcissic controlling ass ive ever laid eyes on. so sad he brainwashed my sweet kids . . i sure dont want them to turn into HIM

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