Posted on: January 20, 2007 Posted by: Nicole Harding Comments: 86

Keeping your sanity intact with your spouses family
Does “until death do us part” only apply to spouses? If only that were the case! When you wed, or even just get into a relationship, you get not only a spouse but also their mother, father, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and whole family. You may not see eye to eye with them on all issues, so you may want more privacy and time than they’re willing to give you, what is there to do about it? Read on to find out.

Please note: nowhere in this article will you find tips on offing your in-laws so if that’s what you had in mind when you searched ‘how to get rid of In Laws’ you’ve come to the wrong place.

1. Figure out what’s bugging you.

Before you can figure out how to get rid of your in laws you will want to figure out why you want to get rid of them. Are they too nosy? Do they cause lots of drama? Are they asking a lot of your time? Is it the way they make you feel? Are they downright crazy?

Find the underlying cause of what’s bugging you, because if you have a concrete problem it’s easier to find a solution.

2. Discuss these issues with your spouse.

This may be one of the hardest things to do. If your in laws are getting on your nerves, hopefully your spouse understands but they may not see it, or may be offended by it, because this is their dear family you’re talking about.

When you bring up negative things about your spouses family expect there to be some of the ‘oh yeah well your family does this’ retorts. You will need to be prepared to take these with a grain of salt. When you’ve come clean with your spouse about what’s eating you about their parents, come up with a plan that the two of you are happy with.

3. Distance yourself from them.

If you really butt heads with your in-laws, one of the easiest ways to separate yourself from them is to move away from them (as long as your spouse is ok with that of course).

If you live in the same city as your in laws, you may find yourself overwhelmed with them and the fact that they are constantly there. You may need some space to breathe so moving – even if it’s only 45 minutes away so they can’t pop in after work to say hello – could be a good thing for you.

One of the biggest downfalls with this is that if you live far away from them you won’t be able to call on them for help – if you need someone to come lift a couch or someone to babysit your kids. So before hiring that U-Haul and bee lining it for a far away city, make sure that the pros outweigh the cons.

4. Use proper communication.

Communication or a lack thereof is usually one of the biggest downfalls with families. Sometimes emails and texts can be misconstrued and taken the wrong way or sometimes you can grow to resent the hours you spend on the phone with dear mother in law or father in law.

Figure out what the best and most efficient way of communicating is, for you and your in laws, and when possible try and use that form of communication. Be sure you are saying what you need, but do so in a polite manner. Communication is a two way street so be sure to listen and respect what your in laws are saying.

5. Set healthy boundaries.

You can love your family but you still don’t have to see them every weekend. Yes, your in laws have had their own children and may have their two cents to share as to how you should parent your children, but that decision is ultimately up to you and your partner. ‘I can appreciate why you might have made your children sit at the table until all of their food was gone but we are encouraging them to listen to their bodies so as long as they’ve asked to be excused they can leave the table’.

Being a family (be it just you and your spouse or you, your spouse and children) is complicated, and there are lots of people’s feelings to consider, so when you set boundaries, it’s best to be firm without being rude. For example ‘We have set aside one weekend night a month per side of the family. Do you want to see us on the Saturday or the Sunday?’ Or it may be a good boundary for you to say ‘I’m glad you called, I’m in the middle of chores so I only have a few minutes to chat’ and stick to it. Figure out what you need and let people know in advance so they aren’t shocked or offended.

6. Remember that it’s OK to say no.

Sometimes juggling families, especially in laws, can be draining. It’s acceptable for you to politely decline invitations to certain functions. Don’t feel that you need to be at great uncle Fred’s 80th birthday party (unless you want to be) if you just saw that side of the family last week.

It’s understandable that saying no may cause kickback, but you should continue to stick to your boundaries and politely say ‘we’ll catch you next time.’ If they insist on buying your children every toy imaginable to man, it’s acceptable to say ‘we want our children to have to work for what they want so we appreciate the gifts but could you pare it down a little please,’ which is a polite way of saying ‘no more crazy amounts of gifts’.

7. Let your spouse deal with them.

If you’ve tried your best to be nice and really understand where your in laws are coming from but they’re still driving you bonkers to the point of you wanting to get rid of them, then it’s time to pass the torch.

Of course, you shouldn’t disengage completely, but let you spouse do some of the work – communicating, organizing, etc. with their side of the family. When you do this you can fully expect them to do the same for you, so don’t expect them to run out and buy your mom a birthday card if you’ve set down the deal as ‘you deal with your family, I deal with mine.’

Fostering a positive relationship with your in laws is going to take time, effort and energy. Remember they helped your spouse grow into the person that you love so much, so they must have some redeeming qualities. If you have children you may one day be the in law! So take notes on what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. In the meantime make the most of the situation and get rid of the negativity around your in laws, rather than actually getting rid of them.

86 People reacted on this

  1. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for the past 3 of them. My mother-n-law HATES me! for the past 10 years she has tried everything from pushing my husband to join the military to moving back home with her in order to get rid of me. She has even blaitantly critisized me infront of groups of friends and family. At first, this really bothered me. I would cry when she left after visiting us. After one such visit, my husband told me that he loves me, and that he was sorry for the way his mother treated me. He confronted her and she agreed to be nicer to me. Though at her next visit, the snide remarks returned when my husband left the room. i knew she was not going to change, that I would have to change my outlook. I found it was easiest to focus on the good. Always bring in the positive. When she started talking about how her son could have done so much better with his life, I would smile and say something like “Well, there is room for improvement in all of us.” or “Yes, well, at least he is happy, right?” At first, this shocked her, but after me putting a positive spin on every negative thing that came out of her mouth, it took all of the fun out of it for her, and she says two words to me every visit: “hello” and “bye” and I’m happier for it! (Sorry for the long spill!)

  2. Well let me start out as saying my in laws are from hell. Not Joking. I have been with my husband for over 7 years now and his parents live with us. They never pay bills they never clean after them selves and they also cause fights everyday. We have tried to tell them yell at them anything to get the point across that they have to leave. They havent gotten it through there heads yet. My mother law thinks she owns our living room basically the whole house. Well everytime i clean or try to clean up anybodys mess she makes a bigger mess. I cant even use my own furniture washer dryer anything. I’m so fed up. I need a tip please. Thanks

  3. I have a similar problem like most of you. I got married 3.5 years back. When I got married, I was informed by my in-laws that it’s just general to stay with your in-laws in their family. I accepted the fact as my sister-in-law (younger sister of my husband) was also staying with her in-laws then. Within 6 months of our marriage, fights started between my in-laws and me. At the same time I also discovered that my sister-in-law was not happy with her in-laws. Similar situations. As my in-laws love their daughter very much and can’t stand her sorrows, they made sure that my sister-in-law got separated from her in-laws and is now living happily with her husband and children just 5 minutes away from us. However, I am still living with my in-laws as I don’t have a choice. It’s just ‘general’ to live with them. They leave for a couple of months to India, but they always come back every year to live with us.

    Life is extremely hard for me. Especially, to accept the fact that they made the life of their daughter a living bliss and mine a living hell is a torchure that is becoming unbearable for me day by day. It’s effecting me and my relationship with my husband whom I love very much and vice versa.

    Hope that one of you can help me with an excellent tip or something.

  4. what can i do if i’m sure i’m being gossiped about by gossipy in-law because of strange behaviour from friends/family from husbands side. Not sure if i should say anything. Spoke to husband who says he doesn’t think anything is up but i really don’t think i’m being paranoid here. HELP!

  5. I have a sister-in-law that is using my husband as a taxi. Even though she is married and her husbands controls her. i said to my husband when are you going to let him be responsible for his own family? They have two cars, but he won’t take the time to fix it, Why? because he is controlling her every move and her money. When i married my husband i did’nt marry his whole family. I know that there will be talk about me but i really don’t care. See my husband and his sister work together, and she has been riding to work with him for over two years. I’m at the point to where i want to give up on my marriage, It’s like my husband is’nt listening to me. She constantly uses profanity 24-7 I’m really fed up.

  6. To m:

    I think you should politely confront ur in-laws directly and let them what you notice and feel. Please be aware that this can result in conflicts and confrontations, which you might not like. But if you are sure of their gossiping actions, share it with them and my experience tells that it will stop.

  7. Dear in-laws haters!!

    A bad or worsening relationship with anyone (including the in-laws) can not be one sided i.e bad in-laws and angelic daughter / son – in law – it is a two way street. YOu should think what you are doing to cause the strife and try to improve. It is too easy to blame everything on the in-laws. Keep in mind they have sacrificed a lot for your spouse (more than you will ever do). If you really love your spouse – you would love anyone who love him/her (including your in-laws).

    In-law Lover

  8. Dear In-Law lover,

    It is not possible for you to judge the situation you are not even part of. Thus, making the above statement is not justified. I agree with you that it’s a two way street. But sometimes people have the tendency to enter the one way zone. And this is not only applicable for in-laws but also for son / daughter in-laws.

    Anyways, I just wish that relationships between in-laws and son / daughters were different. But many a times it proves to be the other way round.

  9. I don’t know about any of your situations and you do not know of the hell my inlaws have put me through. I must vent: I have been married – going on 2 years next month. My H and I are so happy together but everytime his family’s names are mentinoned it costs us money! They are selfish, spoiled, free-loaders. My H had no job, no $ and no idea of what he wanted to do for a living and I still married him (because I love him). His family seemed nice at first. Then when we got married, only 8 months after (and 6 mths after my H finally found a job), his misrible mother moves in. I was so nice to her, we catered to her, bought her everything she wanted, took her to dinners, etc. (all because she was only supposed to stay for one week and leave back to her country for about a year or more. She would come back and want to live with us every 2 months for weeks at a time or for as long as she wanted and what really made me mad is that my H or her never once asked me if I would mind if she could stay, they just made that decision on their own and that is WRONG!) And in return, she would disrespect me by not ever once thanking me for anything, she would (in front of my face), whisper to my H saying, “later, let’s talk alone”, she would invite herself to family functions that we were invited to and then proceeded to grab my husband’s arm so she can walk in with him while they left me to walk alone behind them! (and this was because she “has trouble with her back”, but then she wears 3 to 4 inch heels everyday! and dances all night long!), She would invite people to our home for dinner and not do a damn thing! and we would let her, She would destroy our belongings and not replace them or even offer to and she never once even attempted to clean up after herself. I tell you I felt like a fool being nice to this creature! Let me also add that his mother is not a sweet, little old lady. She is in her 60’s and dresses and acts like, and believes that she is only 18! it’s sickening! She even calls my H her “daddy” in public and they say it’s just a “term of endearment”, whatever. Anyway, I finally had enough and told her she has to go and that I did not marry HER I married her son and it is not my responsibility to take care of HER. She got mad of course, spat off at me saying, “If I want something I WILL ask my son for it and he WILL give it to me!” I told her “No he will not, because what was his is MINE and what is MINE is now his!” She was angry that she was not getting her way and finally left. Then a week or so later, a family member of mine tells me that my sister in law (who doesn’t even live in our state! and has no clue of how that woman was destroying our marriage) is calling everyone and asking them if I have “multiple personalities” or if I’m “crazy”! …all because I wouldn’t let myself be taken advantage of by her mother or let her mother take my life savings from us or destroy or marriage like she wanted! ….soooo, don’t tell me or anyone, “IN-LAW LOVER!” that it is a 2 way street because when someone marries another and vows to God to spend their lives with them it does not mean that we have to cater to and put up with the evils that In-laws bring to your marriage — especially if the person tries and tries to be so sweet to them, 9 and a half times out of 10 it is the In-Law that begins the trouble and they do it on purpose because they are jealous and angry that they are no longer #1 in their child’s life and they can’t get over it so what do they do??? They try to make their spouses’ life a living hell by hurting their new daughter-in-law and in the meantime,hurting their own child’s happiness by trying to make them side with them over their own spouse! And they don’t care because all they care about is themselves! Shame on them!
    The MIL is coming back next month, just in time to try to come between us for our anniversary, she is not staying with us, her other son’s wife doesn’t even want her. We were told she was getting a hotel this time, then because both her son’s were ok with that she guilts them again, so now the other son is taking her in 3 days and I still say she has to find a hotel the rest of the time because I will not let her take advantage of and hurt us anymore and her nosy busy-body daughter is telling her brothers that they need to take care of the hotel because it is their wives who don’t want her in their house! What the hell! She has no right again to stick her nose in our life or to “tell my husband” what he is to do! We will find her a hotel, yes, sure, but she better fork-over a credit card or cash to pay for the nights because I am not paying one cent for her, not anymore. She’s in for a surprise. I’m not a fool and I will be no body’s fool.

  10. I can understand your situation. How irritating it is when someone else interferes in your life and that too when the persons are your in laws, whom your hubby will not be pointing as wrong, ever. If you are doign somethign to save your marride life, but for your hubby, it will be you who has craeted the problem. He will not make his parents to understand but to his wife. Why??? So, why are we just blaming the in laws, why not to their son, who can not utter a word on his wife behalf. Yes, asking in laws to leave is better than to live with them, but do you think that when they are not around then the life is good. No…. My in laws are not living with us, But my mother in law needs to call my husband daily, for what is he havign daily in food, whta is eh talking to me, is he calling his two sisters daily…etc. Dily she needs to teach him soem lessons on me. And asa result, daily my hubby calls his sisters, talks, spend money on them in lots. Well, ok, till here if it is acceptable. Then further this, my in law expects me to hare all teh love or fights that i had with my hubby with them. And then want me to listen their lectures that how should I treat my husband, as its me only who errupt crises. His son is innocent. They make their son not to talk much to my family (his in laws), even not to share his success, as that will be like ‘najar lagna’ for him. And for me if i have got a small increament or anythign damn then that should eb circulated to his whole khandan, if I do not then I am bad, and this too becoem issue between me and my hubby, me and my in laws.

    In that too, they never take me as thir own family member, they hide teh things from me but expect me to be tranparent to them. They want all the hisab of money that I have spent through my hubby, and never told me that how much savign my hubby has till date. We are lookign to buy a flat. iN which my choise is leats bothered. However it will be on my name as I will be paying half of the EMI. All teh choise goes in my mother in laws hand, as my father in law loves her very much and wants her to be the master of whole. So fo my life too. I always been in hostel since last 8 years, and never had any boundages but here I ahev no right to take decisions. But I do not say that it is because of just in laws, but your hubby is also a part fo it. As he is never there to be your supporter. He IS TEHER O BE MOM’S boy.

    I just hate all, even to myself, now. My in laws are not livign with me then I am having such irritation, I do not know what will be teh scene when they will be with us. As They have bounded me that I can not go, even to my mom without him. we both at the saem time do not get leave of kore than 3 days. So it is very difficult for me to go my home with him for more than 3 days. Hence i miss my family, my mom, my sis, my bro etc….but I cant live with them or call them. As my hubby do not like them. According to him his parents are not happy with me so he wont be keeping my parents happy………..

    ont you think this life is not less then any hell, as mentally we are bounded in ropes. Will any days we will get freedom and get rid of it.

    Will anyone suggest???????

  11. Nope, unfortunately, we will never be “Free” of them! evil does not die 😉 ha (sad but so so true).
    The best thing that we can do and what I plan on doing next month when the beast arrives again for her ‘visit’ is stay with a smiling happy face around them (show them I/we are perfectly happy with our marriage without them in it – that will kill them!), don’t let them get away with taking anything from us when they are around, don’t LET THEM hurt our marriage (if they say something rude to me, you can be darn sure I will correct them in front of everyone and make them look like the jackass and insist on an apology from them in front of everyone for their childlike behavior until they do it or ask them to leave if they cannot respect me/us in our home), show them that WE come FIRST to our husband (not them!)and that our money is “our” money, for “our” future, not theirs, and lay down the law with the hubby when they are around – basically, he is NOT to give them anything. I told my husband, family is not family only if we have to give them things all the time, meaning you can only see them if you give them things – family is there for you/us all the time, regardless of whether we have things for them or not. If you are telling me that in order for you to see your family (for them to want to see you) you have to give them good steak dinners and free room and board, etc. then, I’m sorry, that is NOT “Family” to me and you are better off without those kinds of people in your life and I feel so sorry for you for letting them take advantage of you your entire life. But I will NOT let them anymore, if you cannot tell them, I will, and honestly I don’t care if they will hate me for it because I really have nothing but hate and disrespect for all of them. Especially after everything they did to hurt me and Us whether you want to admit it or not, right after we were married and still to this day.
    I realize that every family is different, and I thank God everyday for the loving, caring, giving family that I have. They are good to both of us all the time and they NEVER ask us for anything. We have them over for dinner and sometimes (actually more so then we have them) they have us over for dinner, etc. it is a give and take and take and give relationship – like a family is supposed to be. Not one-sided where we constantly have to give, give, give to his family and they NEVER, not once ever give us anything in return. I know you are not supposed to give because you expect something back either, I’m not that shallow. But it is common human decency that if someone keeps giving you things that you somehow give something, even if it is a little back, otherwise, you are nothing more than a pathetic free-loader, I’m sorry, it’s true. I just never thought in a million years that I would have ended up with such sucky, nasty, free-loading, selfish in-law’s. I pray every second of everyday that they do not take anymore of my happiness from my life and my life with my husband and if I have to be the one that has to take care of making sure that happens (being the ‘bad’ guy), then so be it because I know my husband cannot do it because it is ‘his’ family. And you know what that is understandable, we cannot change them but we can make sure they understand that since we married it is about “us” now and not “them” as God intended.

  12. I come to find out now that my husband has told his mother that he found her a cheap rate hotel – which there is no hotel for that cheap around here! I am believing that he is going to lie to me and go behind my back and pay for her stay again! If he does this then we are DONE! He can spend the rest of his life being a momma’s boy alone! I am now beginning to agree with “jay”: “Get rid of your spouse. The in-laws leave with him/her.” This really sounds like the ONLY way back to happiness and good health for me.

  13. It seems to me like there are mostly all ‘Indians’ on this session.:-)

    Well leaving your spouse is not the only solution. You leave one and you look for another and who knows the new in-laws are worse than what you have now. It is also a question of how much in love are you with your spouse. Coz no matter good or bad, in-laws come in a package with the spouse (and this goes for husbands n wives).

    In my case, my hubby is an extremely good person (too good to be true). Everyone thinks the same about him. But then he is not only too good to me but also to his parents. Knowing the faults they had made or make and knowing that we all can’t live ahppily together, he is not able to tell his parents the reality. He doesn’t want to hurt them. He is the ‘Shravankumar’ of this era. And a bit too Indian. India is changing rapidly but not the Indians who loved abroad 30 years ago. 🙂

    Sometimes we don’t have a choice. Certain situatins and circumstance, we just have to accept. We have no control over them. Just like the fact that we cannot decide what kind of parents we get, we just get them; similarly we can’t decide the type of our in-laws. It just comes in a package. I can just hope for all of us that we shall not be the same in-laws for our son/daughter in laws in future.

  14. I do love my husband very much and I would hate for our marriage to end because of THEM! But his mother is such a free-loader and spoiled beyond belief! It is sickening! She is really destroying our happiness. I am not working every day to save so that we can “take care” of all her “needs” and “wants” and it is not right that she should “expect” us to. To me that is not a “mother” at all. I have no problem with “accepting what they are” I know now what they are and it is sickening yes, but I cannot change them, but I will not let them take over our life and make our life about them. If they don’t like it they can bend over and kiss my behind. There is a fine line between showing respect and being a true sucker and I for one am not a sucker and will not let anyone or anything take me for a fool. You want something in this life, you have to work to earn it, not demand it from others, that is NOT right. Shame on them!
    My husband has stood up to his mother in regards to the hotel. We are not paying for that for her. We did find her a great rate together at a hotel nearby and we sent her the link so she can set it up and we have yet to hear back from her (surprise, surprise). She is probably trying to figure a way to say that she can’t figure out how to pay for it. If anything, some good did come of this, my husband agreed with me and is not paying for her and also that he stood up to her and told her how it is and maybe, just maybe now that she knows how it is, she won’t come to visit at all, because she will have to pay. We’ll see

  15. Fed up with sister-in-law and brother-in-law living at use to be house. They were on there way to Florida but suppsedly ran out oof money. Now he won’t find a job and she will not work. My husband and me are the only one furnishing everything.Please help with the situation before all of our funds are gone also.

  16. i love my boyfriend to death and i do see a future with him one day. his parents are divorced and both his moms side and dads side of the family absoutley hates me. i do not have anything against them and i try hard to make them not dislike me so much. nothing works. what do i do?

  17. To Mo:

    I think you should try telling your in-laws that you are saving money for future children or smth. Just tell them you can’t afford to keep them for free, and shop for cheap things for a while. Insist you have no money.
    If they do not feel guilty and start working, they deserve to be kicked out.

  18. To: Mo –
    You need to tell them straight out – as hard as it is, that you are NOT working to support them! I have done this (sadly) numerous times and it does work (even though they keep trying, I keep telling them and it stops) They either need to get a job NOW and help support themselves or they will have to leave. If they still keep crying that they have no money (and they will, because that is what “free-loaders” do), tell them you will be more than happy to help but you yourself are finding your funds depleating because of the situation they have put you in. Compose a letter, show it to them and in that letter, document how much money they owe you since you have been “taking care of them”, have them sign that letter and explain that this is the IOU and you will be updating it as you “give” to them and will have them sign it every time it is updated, explain that your attorney advised you to do this to ensure you receive funds lent to them back when they are working and able to reimburse you. The worst thing you can do in this situation is nothing, you need to take action or they will just sit around all day not working until all your $$ is gone! Nobody is going to watch out for you in this world except for YOU, remember that and you will be ok 😉

    To: not married but one day –
    If you really love your boyfriend and you really see a happy, loving future with him, and you truly feel that his family hates you, then you need to confront them. Ask them to their face (with your boyfriend present), “I’m sorry, but I just have to ask you, did I do something to you in the past that made you dislike me? If so, I’m sorry, I really do love (your boyfriend’s name) and he loves me and we are seriously talking about a future together, but if his family has ‘issues’ with me for some reason, I would really like to know so I can resolve whatever it is that is causing you to dislike me. I want to love my future husband and his family and would like it if they loved me back, so please let me know if you have bad feelings towards me and why because I am feeling some tension when around you and I need to gain a better understanding of why that is and work on it so that we can all be happy together. Thank you.”
    They will not only be shocked that you confronted the situation but they will probably gain a little more respect for you for doing so. If they make like there was never any bad feelings towards you and you still believe that there are, talk it out with them. You have to get this resolved, especially BEFORE you get married. They say that when you marry you become one with your spouse, and that is true, but the in-laws come with too and if they are making you feel bad about yourself now it will only get worse later and believe me you will be misrible unless you straighten it out now. Be strong and talk to them, it’s the only way.

  19. My sister in law lives with me and my husband. She pays very little bills, has let several of her friends “stay” at our house at our expense and is a general bi***. When we told her that her friends needed to pay rent, (they’ve live in our apartment for almost a year) she refuses to make her best friend pay. Because she and her boyfriend are now expecting their 2nd child. We are now expecting our first child and she is mad because when our lease is up we plan on moving away into our own space. When we moved together, for several months we supplied rides for her to and from work and for her child to and from daycare. Now that our ride is tore up (due to all the wear and tear) she refuses to help us get to work so that we can pay the rent. She borrows money from us daily even though she has a job and gets plenty of public assistance. She always needs money to get her hair done and her nail done, and to buy new clothes while we are stuck paying 500 light bills. My husband refuses to go against his sister. I’ve even had people ask me if they were married. Thats what hurts the most. People dont even look at me and him as a couple, it’s her and him. I get left out when it comes to family events or get togethers because she doesnt want me there. I dont know what to do. Pregnancy has me already stressed out and then I have to go home at night just to hear that she doesnt like my dog and I need to get rid of her and that I need to get an abortion. Sorry just I’m really stressed out and dont have anyone to really talk to about home.

  20. FOR ALL YOU NOT MARRIED AND HAVE SENSED NEGATIVE FEELING FROM IN-LAWS….RUN FAR AND FAST!!! It only gets worsed. Your better off single, happy with your sanity than tying the knot. Date and have fun.

    FOR ALL YOU MARRIED AND HAVE EVIL IN-LAWS….they will NEVER change. If they treat you like crap NOW, they will always treat you like crap. In my case, since they already hate me…I make them hate me more. I treat them even worse. LET THEM SUFFER. Chances are your hubby will support you. And, if not, SCREW him TOO. There are other fish in the pond. HAVE RESPECT FOR YOURSELVES and don’t ever tolerate their crap. CUT THEM OFF. And, if they come around, treat them like CRAP. They treated me like I didn’t exist, did not hang up our wedding pics, didn’t introduce me when out in public, and pretended that I didn;t exist around them. Now, I don;t have any pics of them in my house (all torn) and I pretend they are dead. Don’t pick up calls, return them, have them over or invite them over. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! SCREW THEM!!!!!!!! What goes around comes around!!!!!!!

  21. Advise from the wise –

    I SO AGREE WITH YOU. THe monsters get totally confused when they get treated worse than how they treat you. HAAAAAAAAAAAAa….it WORKS!!!! Then they try to kiss your ass. DON’T LET THEM. Two people can play the game, that is their mind games. If they already hate you, your right, you might as well have them hate you even more. Have them hate you ALL THE WAY! They won’t know what to do.

  22. I thought that one when you get married your supposed to enjoy the marriage before..the you have a problem with the in-laws..In my mother..I go to work for 12 hours a day my wife stays home taking care of her half brother (7 months) and a half sister (2) years old..We have no kids..Some how some way..Me and my wife went from living by loading up the house with her brother (17), her mom (32), and the rugrats..The oldest daughter comes over with her unwelcomed’s havoc..I don’t go down stairs..and i just stay wife is going to the air she wants to spend time with the family..before she goes..But what about me..the apt is mine, the transportation is mine..we’ll my wife owns half..and the utilities in my name..we have been married 4 months..what’s wrong with this picture..I’m only 24 years

  23. I think avoidig your horrible in-laws is the only way to go 4 all you people trying to cope with this problem.

    My poblem is not with my in-law parents, it’s with my fiance’s older brother and his wife. They are THE MOST ANNOYING people in the world and while they are not bad, evil people as such, they IRRITATE me like you wouldn’t believe. The world MUST revolve around them!! They CONSTANTLY want you to give a hoot about what they are doing and all they do is talk talk talk about themselves and basically try to let you know that no matter what you do in your life, no matter what you have, it will NEVER be as good as what they are doin/have.

    They are also extrememly selfish and won’t put themselves out for anyone yet expect other people to do so for them. They also talk about me behnd my back and my partner has told me this but he never says anything and his brother is especially rude to me. He’s a complete arsehole, snapping at me for no reason (never around my fiance though of course!), never saying a nice thing to me or just openly ignoring me. He even swears at his wife all the time and she puts up with it. I think he hates me because I don’t take any crap from my fiance like his wife does with him. Now they have kids and it’s all “MY kids are so good at this, they’re so smart blah blah blah” and I’m all for being proud of your kids but I just know when my fiance and I have kids they will be forever competing with their cousins! They also ALWAYS have to tell you how much money they have and all the expensive things they buy and I am not jealous in the least (I make good money too but I don’t brag about it!). They also talk about their sex life in front of my fiance and I…what the hell!? As if we care!!! Arrrggghhh!

    It’s at the point now where I don’t want to go to my fiance’s family get togethers because they will be there talking about themselves and I will have to be nice to them. My fiance refuses to let me stay home because he says everyone will think we have had a fight or that I’m rude. Even my fiance’s gradmother has confessed to me she can’t stand my fiance’s brother and his wife because they are full of themselves so I know its not just me! I never even asked her what she thought of them, she just told me one day! She is my ally and sanity pillar when they are around, bless her!

    I don’t want to cause any trouble and hurt my fiance’s parents so I don’t say anyhing but I CAN’T WAIT to move from the ciy we live in and get away from them!

    AVOID YOUR IN-LAWS! The time you spend thinking about them and feeling angry, dreading having to see them, isn’t worth it!

  24. My inlaws are coming to the U.S soon. I can’t stand the thought of them coming and living with us. I can’t stand my inlaws. They are so cheap and such free loaders. I feel like i just didn’t marry my husband but the whole family. I just want to tell him to stay out of our life. We are suppose to go to my brother-in-laws wedding and they expect everything from us. They can’t even buy their own attire to wear at the wedding. I am so fed up of them. I can’t even stand talking to them on the phone let alone living with them is a whole differnet story. My mother-in-law hates taking care of kids and my husband thinks that when his parents come and stay with us, she will help me take care of my daughter. His mother tells me that she can’t take care of kids. so what the hell is she going to do here. She doesn’t like cooking or cleaning. There is no way am I going to be her maid. My father in law is so stingy, he can’t even spend a dime on him self or anyone else. But when it comes to taking stuff they are happy. what do you do in this situation? Live with them or leave your husband and live by your self?

  25. A simple way is to do everything they hate, whilst your husband/wife is not there and then when he is there act like an angel. (only as a last resort)

  26. Me and my brother have never been really close. but i still live at home which is okay cause im only 18. my brothers wife how ever is 23 and he is 26, moved into my parents basement, i had no problem with this and either did my other brother. but as soon as she moved in 1.5 years ago she has been nothing but a free loader. she told my brother she was pregant, so he whould marry her, right after they said “i do” she told him she lied, her wedding persant was $30,000 dollars of bills she owed for collage, she didnt even get anything for it. then when she really did get pregant and have a baby. she trys to pawn it off on us. when my brothers at work she goes “out” with his best friend all night. and leaves the baby alone, if it wasn’t for me going down stairs and taking care of it, i dont know what whould happen. they pay no bills, they come up and steal food me and my boyfriend work for. she steals make, jewelary, video games, anything she can, and she stole my promise ring. i found it in a pawn shop up the street, with her name on the recpit. i love my parents my dad yells at me for doing mean stuff, and says its not right, but just cause she has that baby, she doesn’t get in torrble. I take care of it more than she does to, without me it woudn’t eat, or get changed. I’m thinking about moving to get away from the crazy b**ch. Help? what should i do?

  27. ok i’m 23 years old been married for 5 years have 2 kids and been living with my inlaws for 2 years now. i work at an attorneys office and for those of you who know how it is to work at an office, you don’t have a scheldule.we’re mexican by the way, in our culture us as wife’s are supposed to live with the husband’s family only. by the way my mother in law takes care of my children while we are at work so i always have to kiss her ***. most of the time she’s just rude to me, she makes smart *** comments and don’t get me wrong she loves my 3 year old son to death but always treats my little 2 year old daughter like **** and my daughter looks so much like her. so anyway i can’t go anywhere by myself because they’re always looking at everything i do. they critisize the way i dress my children and the way my husband and i dress, they say we don’t have nice clothin. you know how the style is right now, right? kindof the grundgy look flip flops cute tops ripped up jean. my husband has a construction company we make good money but we also have a lot of debts. they’re always questioning us about what we do with all of our money. we are both paying for the house mortgage but my mother in law owns the house for example she only has her things put out in the house my stuff all has to be stored away in the basement because there’s no more room for it. i’m so tired of it i feel like i’m detereorating little by little. my sister in laws in laws also treat her like **** and they always go to her defense but they don’t see what they’re doing to me and my family. everytime we go out we always have to let them know where we’re going and what time we’ll be back. i think i’m a pretty sweet girl but i can only take so much. at first i used to tell my husband about how his mom was to me but now he’s starting to see, she’s just and evil lady. they never pay for anything they gamble all of their money in the casino and then they expect us to pay for everything when they’re supposed to help us with half of the home expenses. i’m just going crazy you guys have no idea of everything i have put up with. what can i do to move out, my husbands scared to move out he’s scared of what they might say and the truth is i’m kind of scare too. i also miss my family i’m here all alone with these people!!!

  28. I have read and can relate to alot of people in this forum. I have a brother in-law who I can’t stand also who my mother in-law decided was going to move into my house with my self my wife and my 3 boys . Well my brother in-law is 49yrs old has a 19 yr old girlfriend who lives with her parents to which neather one has a job my brother in-law mooches off of my self and my wife ,wont get a job, sleeps all day,stays up all night eating my kids food , steals from myself and my wife goes throught my personal thing (have caught him) thats how I know but to my wife and her mom its no big deal him being here and the fact that he does nothing positive to get out of my house they say thats just how he is and I say thats fine but cant he be a BUMM somewhere else my wife wont back me on anything I say so I feel that divorce is immanate dont get me wrong I love my wife and kids but when it comes to getting rid of her brother Im afraid I stand alone, I have tried to be patiant because I wanted to keep the peace with her mom and my self because her mom put her name on my house so that my wife and I could buy it because of our credit at the time so when I went to throw her brother out her mom says I dont have the right to do so but I have been the one making the house payments for the 7 years we have been here and yes I do blame my wife for not backing me on this but the thought of leaveing really hurts but it seems to be my only course of action , my wife and I get up and go to work every day why cant her brother Im not going to support his lazy *** and I have told him that he needs to get out and he says when I find a place and I said well you have to get out of bed before 2 in the afternoon to find a job Oh he said Im looking (YEAH RIGHT) I just want to grab him and throw his sorry *** out of my house but to do that will cost me my marriage. But this I know for sure the new year is here and I just got a new job that pays very well and I have decided Im changing my life I will no longer support my brother in-law and if it is going to cost me my marriage then I guess that will be a pain Im going to have to live with I want my life back and Im going to make a stand. I dont think this has helped anyone else Im more or less venting and I wish you all luck who are in the same boat as I am and for those of you who love your in-laws good for you not everyone has it as good as you.

  29. The best thing to do if they already hate you from the beginning is to make them hate you even more.that way you’ll be making their lives miserable and not the other way around. have fun!

  30. I guess, I am not the only one that hates his M-I-L. When I say hate I mean it with all my heart. I can not stand the freeloading good for nothing moocher. She want’s me to cater to her needs. ****’ it’s good that I have to put up with her daughter. She wants my wife to take her out to eat 3-5 times a week go pick up her dry cleaning take her to the stores and buy her what she wants at the time. But, has she once said I will take care of the kids with out having to give her something **** NO. Either she wants money, food, or the kids to be asleep. How in the world do I get rid of this FREELOADING WOMAN???

  31. This forum is unbelievable. I can totally relate to ‘Irritating In Laws 2B’ posted back in September of 2007 and in fact most of you! My problem is compounded by the fact that my husband has a freeloading, often gloating TWIN brother. Oh, and I can’t stand his wife. Twice in this lifetime they freeload off us when the husband couldn’t keep his job. The wife even quit HER job in Boston so they could live with us and our 2 kids…can you believe it? SHE had a job but quit. Instead of being grateful, Phil and Tama (in case any of you meet them) complain to my husband that he does not help them find a job. Now, my husband has given them lots of money in the past & never asked for anything back, but it’s never enough. To make it worse, my husband yells at me if I raise any concerns about Phil and Tama freeloading. He says that his health is not good so why must I cause trouble. I said, why is your brother here freeloading if you are sick. My advice to everyone out there, DO NOT EVER MARRY A TWIN. Your problems will be much worse….. And if anyone meet Phil and Tama, give them SH** for me.

  32. Oh, I can so relate to all of this!

    My husband is a great guy and I’m very happy with him. And most of my in-laws are cool too.

    However, we have the other kind two (both sides) and I’ve found the ONLY thing that works is to lay down the law VERY bluntly and remain consistent about it regardless of all the ensuing tantrums.

    Here’s our list of stupid inlaws on both sides:

    One is abusive, violent – and no longer allowed in the picture. Anyone attempting to plead the individual’s case is informed that we will no longer deal with him or her either if they attempt to be a go-between.

    Two others were on welfare for decades before being kicked off the rolls. Both females with kids – none of whom are allowed any contact with their fathers, because the women have “too much pride” to allow a relation, or go after the guys for child support. The women use the kids as an excuse to “borrow” money from anyone they can in our large extended family, then get angry when there’s no more to be sponged. Despite living in shelter that’s been paid for by others, being given cars, money, etc sometimes they still find life just too much to bear so they also drop their kids off unannounced in order to go off and party or whatever, and whoever gets the kids is expected to take care of them financially as well as keep them amused until their mothers take them back. The kids do all the housework & yardwork for their mothers, who are too busy watching cable TV to get involved. One woman feigns illness on different people’s birthdays in order to get everyone’s immediate undivided attention, while the other has threatened suicide several times – and so far the only cure for either has been someone else rushing in with tea, sympathy and of course the checkbook. No more.

    Then there’s the one who hasn’t held a job since the 1940’s, lived off one set until both passed, and is currently being coddled by another set – they supply housing, do the shopping, organize and pay the bills, yada yada yada.

    Lastly there’s the 50 something mama’s boy who has never cut the umbilical cord enough to get & keep a real job, make real friends or even have a real date. “Mommy” is his world, and when she passes he will be as helpless as a turtle on its back.

    OK, here’s the deal from here on out:

    None of the aforementioned get one more penny.

    Anyone who stays with us will have to have & keep a job, save enough money to get their own place and move on. Any adult who arrives without a job has one week to line one up – take any legal job that will pay them.

    Anyone dumping one or more minor children on our doorstep will forefeit any say-so over the kids – they’ll obey our rules under our roof, while we work with Children’s Services to get them adopted by people who think enough of them to put in a hard 40 a week or whatever to feed, clothe and shelter them – more than their parents are willing to do. And we will give evidence to the women’s lack of fitness as parents – we have plenty of that.

    All money is to be repaid, first to other family members (who “loaned” it first) then to us – every penny.

  33. Omg this thread is so interesting. I deal with the same problem and I wish there is a way to get rid of MIL. I have one of the selfish, free-loader kind. For my unfortune this woman who was living far away happens to find a job in my second month of marriage in my town and decides to move in with us (until she finds a new place) She first said it was going to be a couple of weeks and it’s been three months now and still here making my newlywed life miserable. It has not been useful to talking to her as we have told many times we don’t want her there but really doesn’t care. This one her true intention is to free-load and well she has admitted that. She wants to retire in a couple of years so anyway she can save money to put in her retirement bucket works for her. She told us “I’m on a tight budget because I want to retire at 62” But here is the kicker folks and you guys won’t believe me. The kicker is the job that she found here is 100k job!!!! But she is on a tight budget making more than what me and my husband make together. Can you guys believe this? So in these 3 months she hasn’t pay us not even one cent and she has never offered me help to do anything in the house. On top she brings a dog who has been ******** on my carpet to say the least. That’s my newlywed life. My husband wants her out too but like I say she doesn’t care to listen.

    I got a few tips from some friends that may help some of you if you see it fit.

    -I was told to deny my husband of sex until she goes. That will get him over the roof and will make him to kick her out. It is highly effective in pushing your husband to do it but in my case I can’t use this because I want to have baby at this point. I’m 35 and never have had children so you know my biological clock is ticking so can’t use this one.

    -This other tip is for the male victims wanting to get rid of the MIL. Well someone told me what the guy did was walk around in the house naked and that made the MIL go away the very next day. I would definetly go for something like this but this doesn’t work for me because I get naked I’m woman that won’t scare her away and my husband is her son so that wouldn’t work neither. But if it’s male this sure will work.

    Please keep the tips comming!


  35. His mom hates me. 
 She hates my cooking, the way i dress and even how i decorate my home. She has even used her key we gave her for emergencies 2 come into my home and take it upon herself to redecorate my living room. She no longer has a key. Nothing i do is good enogth.

  36. my mother in law constantly tells my husband to leave me and move back home and bring my son along, every time she calls, all she does is lecture me on how to be a good wife and be a better mother to our son. She constantly puts me down and makes me feel worthless leavng me depress and the sad part about it, my husband never ever defends me, he just agrees majority of the time so he doesn’t hurt her feelings. My sister in laws constantly complains that i avoid them but i only do that because i refuse to get into confrontation with them, i avoid the uncomfortable fights with my husband and want to leave a little bit of respect even if i’m hurting inside. The worse feeling about it all is that i’m always defending myself and the one person i thought would be there to defend me is on their side and not mine.

  37. Well just like the rest of you my father in law is well an ***. He wasn’t there for my husband growing up so now with my 3 girls he thinks he is making up for it, but just yestarday I said something that I guess just rubbed him the wrong way and he let me have it. He called me every name in the book right infront of my children. Then when I let him out of the car, my husband asked me what happened. So I told him, my husband didn’t even stick up for me. I would love to never see my husbands father again. I would leave my husband, take my girls and leave if it was possible. As much as I love my family I can’t take how he doesn’t stick up for me at all.

  38. Hi,
    My case if probably more different than all of you here. I am from an Indian family and i dont think u guys will be surprised if i say that its more of a norm to stay with the in-laws. Its just the ‘traditional’ way of showing the ‘elders’ ur respect…that you dont have :). Its kind of funny and irritataing. I hate my in-laws a lot and my newly wed days are just going for a toss just because of them.
    They are there in that house 24/7 and can you imagine, i FIL just barges into my bedroom when he knows that i am not there. it kind of irritates me a lot because he is moving into my private place…i mean, my bedroom is the only place that’s private to me in the whole house and now he manages to barge even into that. It leaves me feeling sick and desperate.
    Another thing about them is, they love to go out in our car. Though i dont mind this sometimes (considering the fact that they are old and they probably need some time with their only child), but, it puts to my nervers when they want my hubby to take them out with us every weekend. I mean, i feel i dont have any private life.All this problem mainly because i am not like all the other girls in this country who can just adjust to anything and everything because they are elders.
    Any suggestion as to how to cope up with this stress is warmly welcome.
    PS: My hubby likes them a lot and am sure he cannot stay without them. Moving away would only cause more stress into our relation 🙁

  39. i currently live with my brother-in-law and my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law doesn’t really get into our business and she is pretty much laid back. But i have to share a bathroom with my B-I-L and he is the biggest pig in the world the bathroom that we have is the same bathroom that all the guest use so i try to keep it pretty and smelling nice with everything cleaned up. but once he uses the restroom he leaves all his dirty underwear on the floor his **** all over the toilet seat! it looks like a hurricane passed through the bathroom. so last week i started taking all of his clothes and instead of putting it in his room like i did before im throwing it in the middle of the living room so that when his mother comes in she starts yelling at him for leaving all his clothes all over the place. then he also has a bad habit of eating all my dietary foods and all the food i buy for myself. so i stopped buying it when ever im feeling for some tofu ice cream i go and buy a pint and eat it right then and there. so now the fridge and the cabinets are all empty and they wonder why… its cause i had to spend over $100 a week on buy my expensive organic whole grains foods. So those are two problems i solved, i still have to clean the bathroom everyday but at least i don’t have to reprehend him anymore.(cause i am NOT his mother THANK G*D for that.)

  40. For Hatred to the core.
    I have been in ur position since the last 4 yrs and hate to say that my newlywed years were awful. I dont even want to remember them. My Inlaws made every effort to ruin even our special occasions with their presence. I am an Indian too and living with my inlaws. It is a bullshit tradition. Now since I dont have children, i am thinking of moving away from my husband even though we love each other a lot. But enuf is enuf. I cannot see my life being more troubled.

  41. Hi! I’m 18 and I”m really looking forward to getting married. Thing is, I am really afraid of my future in-laws, especially my MOTHER IN LAW. I don’t really know her personality, because when I come over to their house to visit, she just says hello and then leaves my boyfriend and me alone. BUT, my boyfriend is the youngest son she has, and the reason why I’m afraid is because of the sayings/rumours that says that the mother is very protective of the youngest, especially if it is a son. I am not perfect, nobody is, but I am really afraid that she might criticise everything I do, like a lot of women say. Please help me: how can I solve this possible problem even before it begins?

  42. Um, I’m trying to get rid of my excessively annoying grandparents, not my in- laws, but I chose in- laws, cuz its the closest thing!!!! But, unfortunately for me, NONE OF THESE THINGS WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No offence, but I’ve already tried talking to my mum about how I feel, and she doesn’t understand. I mean, I expected her to be hurt, but she totally freaked out!! And please, my grandparents aren’t what you’d expect. They talk about **** and IT at the dinner table!!!!!!! I am related to whackos, I know. And its a lot worse than that, you mark my words. Any ideas? PLEASE, I am dying here!!!

  43. My MIL can beat all yours ,she has destroyed my life.sadly, my wife doesnt understand this and take my side.My bloody MOL is refusing to leave us ,sees nothing wrong in it as she beleives its her daughters house as well.She is a Pain in the A…she abuses me ,hits me at times,uses derogatory language.Now she is planning to get her husband and jobless dirty son as well as its a chance to get everyone into a developed country.
    Not to forget ,she joined us to help us with our 6 month old daughter.
    Forget help ,she claims I should keep servants, doensnt cook or clean ,doesnt let her daughter cook or clean-so I end up cookin+cleaning+obviouly working as well.She abuses me if her daughter had to put the dishes in the DW or clothes in the washer/drier. I look after my daughter most of the time as well as the bloody women doesnt like my daughter either.

    Am taking this bullshit to keep peace at home for my daughters sake.My 8 year marriage is on the verge of breaking down.

    I am sure the readers will wonder why the hell is this bloke still in a marriage with a unsupportive wife and a filthy MIL.I DONT KNOW EITHER.

  44. I am in the same boat as you all! My mother in law and my husbands aunt and uncle is our BIGGEST problem. Instead of saying things to our faces, they go behind our backs and talk crap and start trouble. My husband cannot stand to be around any of them and he’s not. It’s like these crazy people wont leave us alone! My husband has went as far as quiting a REALLY great job just to get away from the drama. We have moved, changed our numbers and practically hid from them so we can have a sense of peace and live happily. It has even went as far as his aunt going into my medical records at the hospital where she works at just to see what is up and get info! Sometimes I feel like packing up and leaving…but I cant run from this problem I have decided to keep our children away from them, our son hasnt seen his grandmother in over a year and thats the way I am keeping it…and I think if I never seen them all again it will be too soon!

    So for all you suffering with are not alone…keep your head up and be strong, dont let them back you into a corner. Its your marriage and your life…LIVE IT THE WAY YOU DESIRE to hell with all the rest of them!

  45. I feel like i am in a hell when i am will my in-laws, to add up my FIL has his mother also with us. She dominates the whole family. That old lady & My FIL rules the family they will not allow us to go out, talk freely my FIL will always come into our bed room and create awful situation, Now I am 4 months Pregnant and left that hell and i am at my mothers home, My hubby loves me a lot but will not leave his parents, even both our salary my FIL will snatch!! I have no idea to go back there….

  46. My mother in law is a real pain in the a**! First of all, she will not stay out of her daughter’s marital business. She calls our home every morning wanting to chat with her daughter. My mother in law does not have a life! She is not working and is a religious fanatic. She is a pentecostal/apostolic christian whom goes to church for attention and self gratification. She is extremely bossy, aggresive, and possessive. She is a control freak! She does not like me and calls my home to annoy me. She has a smart mouth and is extremely hiper active. She is a busy body! Unfortunately, my wife has many of her mom’s personal characteristics. My mother in law is a hypocrit. She goes to church for self gratification and leaves church a REAL B! She leaves church and is extremely egocentric and selfish. She has a big mouth and needs to get a life. I’m not sure how my father in law has tolerated being married to her all these years. Maybe that is why he cheated on her and had several extra marital affairs and got another woman pregnat. I wish my mother in law would move to another planet and leave us the hell alone!

  47. My inlaws from a different religion and thats the biggest problem, not only this but almost all of them r less educated, speaks very loudly without mannerism, dont have any atteqates, very low calibre, do a lot of biching and I simply hate them

  48. My in-law is my sister-in-law. I was trying to be nice but not anymore you can only get kicked down so much. Even on our wedding date we almost had to get married without my mother-in-law there as her daughter-in-law was not done her coffee and didn’t feel like getting her to the church on time, she was 1/2 hour late. From there it only got worse, she has accused me of trying to push her down the stairs while she was holding a three month old, call childrens aid on her. She has even called my ex-husband and told him that I should not have custody of my children, he called me and said what kind of family did I marry into.

    Now I try not to go anywhere that she will be, because she always causes a scene, most of the time with her husband if he even says hi to me. It makes it hard for family functions, my husband tells me to ignore her as no one from the family likes her they just put up with her for his brothers sake. She buys gifts for only 1 of our three children and she doesn’t see what is wrong with that, as I return the gift to her un-opened. I don’t like my children to go over there and they are only allowed if my husband is there. And our children are now 20 17 and 13 and they just call their cousins to meet them somewhere else.

  49. Ok you guys think you have it bad, my MIL is the biggest bitch in the world. She puts me down when no one is around and I mean all the time, insults me directly or indirectly, she ruins or steals my clothes. She loves my son cause he reminds her of my husband but doesn’t care for my daughter all that much cause she looks so much like me. She cries and whines to my husband about little things but she’ll throw comments to me (this is the only one she ever told in front of someone else and this one was the worse) after a big meal…two days before I gave birth to my daughter just because I didn’t get up right away to put the dishes away she says “you’re pregnant…NOT dead” holy f*ck, if only I owned a shot gun!!! Anyway after 7 long years of taking her dirt I let her have it after she risks making me loose my kids’ babysitter, I told her my babysitter didn’t want her there and she kept going over just to annoy me and make me loose her anyway she threatned me in front of my son and just blew right up at me so I told her that she wasn’t welcome at our house anymore and the worse thing is that my husband doesn’t think she “meant” what she said and thinks that I over react and that things will just get better on their own…the woman lives in another province and when she comes up to visit it’s anywhere between 1-3 months…I can’t take it anymore I’m just about to crack!

  50. My sis-in-law used to live in Miami and said wanting to live in NYC so she found a job there a month ago. Before she drove back up, she just told my wife she needed my help to move her stuffs to her NYC apt. Suddenly, the next day her truck showed up in front of my house. She said she would stay only for couple days but has been living here for weeks then. She has asked my wife if she could stay and live with us for free. My wife said no since we have a upcoming baby and we have been saving hard. Now she said she does not want the job in NYC and she quited her last job. She does not tell us her plan nor when she is going to leave.

    She said she needs to save money (by quitting her job and not working???) to pay back her debt that was spent for her few oversea vacations, $800 shoes, $500 Dynson, etc. As I recall just few months ago, she bought her Dynson for her tile floor apt in Mimai.

    Since she moved in every time my wife and I talk, she would change the topics to talk about her. When my wife and I talk about pregnancy, she would talk about her accidential pregnancy with her ex-bf. How self center this free loader is! By the way, she left her ex-bf becaus she thinks her ex-bf does not have enough money to support her shopping and to have a maid. She crys for her best friend able to buy a place but she has not. When we visted her down in Miami, we always took her out and even paid for her gocery. When she came visit, she never took us out for dinner. On the other hand, she has all the money to go out with her friend. Oh, she always says me and my wife life is boring, but now she force into our life.

    Now everyday she eats our food, goes to gym, and shopping. She does not do any house works and leaves all the dirty dishes in the sink. I told her not to move more stuff into my house hoping one day she will leave. But everyday she sneaks more her stuff into my house. I have to clean everything (including her mess) because my wife is pregnant. Everyday her lazy a** sleeps until who knows… Oh by the way, my brainless mom-in-law was down in Miami when she moved. She might contribute this freeloader idea to my sis-in-law since my selfish sis-in-law never mentioned it when we visited her.

  51. I’ve been using the cold shoulder/avoidance techniques. My MIL is a disgusting pig! She doesn’t pay for anything (our electric bill has doubled since living with her, she doesn’t feel she should have to pay any portion of the bill, she is a sneak eater, in the middle of the night she goes through the fridge and eats everything!, but doesn’t buy groceries)she doesn’t cook (I don’t want her to, more on that later.) or clean, she doesn’t even wash herself, she picks her nose at the table, then blows her nose and sets her “snot rags” right on the table by everyone’s food/plates/silverware, then leaves them behind when she leaves the table. She recently bought a chihuahua, which she lets crap/pee all over the bedroom floor, the house is beginning to smell like a humane society and it’s all because her room is an absolute pigsty! She NEVER washes her hands, you can actually smell crap when she raises her hands anywhere near ya, she keeps her fingernails really long and you can actually see the funk under her nails almost to the tips, then she sticks her hands in cereal boxes, bags of chips, etc. She coughs and hacks all the time but doesn’t cover her mouth (which is really stomach turning when she opens the fridge for stuff n just coughs all over the food in the fridge) I’ve had to start buying 3-4 days worth of food and hide it in a small refr. on the porch so that the 6 of us who aren’t disgusting hogs can eat.
    She is constantly bitching at my kids. She is always trying to put one over on us where money is concerned (not paying for her meds, her drive thru orders, her cigarettes, etc.) The cold shoulder/avoidance techniques are not working because I can still see, hear, and smell her, I’ve tried talking to my husband about it, and I’ve tried tactfully talking to her about the issues, I’m about to the point of just going off on her which will end my marriage, but I’m about to the I just don’t care anymore point, so any suggestions? I’d really appreciate any ideas. Thanks in advance.

  52. hi…well thank god we have some place to put down our frustration into words which we just cant do other wise. well my mother in law and my husbands brother stay wid us since very long. they just wont leave us alone. they never bring groceries in the house and use up everything that i bring and never refill it. they are such assholes…i had it from them. just not in peace. and my mother in law never allows me to watch television. she never helps in the house. she just sits and sits and sleeps and watches tv. its like i suffered a miscarriage in 2006 and its all due to my inlaws. they were just not supportive. and now too they are not leaving us alone. i wish i was dead. my mother in law is the most selfish bitch. wish she was dead tomorrow morning and leaves me and my husband alone. she is after the house my husband bought and she wants all his money that he earns. how can she even do that….god please take her away forever………and my brother in law is just staying free of cost since so many years…he never repairs things and dirties everything…never helps us…just tortures us. what shud i do? i want them to go away and i want to stay alone wid my husband forever…without my inlaws interfereing in our lives.

  53. alright, i thought i had it bad until i read all these stories. I am getting frustrated with my MIL. she comes over everyday because she is bored. she cleans our house non-stop and pays for our dinner. i know i know that doesnt sound all bad.. leave us alone! my wife loves that she comes over. but she brings her dogs with her…i just want some time alone at home.. i consider her company and she doesnt understand that..

  54. That’s some messed up stuff that everyone has to go through. I am 21 years old and have lived with my BOYFRIEND not husband for 3 years. About 4 months ago his mother moved in with us. At first it wasnt bad. Now it is MISERABLE. She is the most hypocritical person that I have ever met. Her whole life she has been a neglectful mother, a drug addict and an alcoholic. Then MIRACULOUSLY a year ago god talks to her. Now all she does is go to church. She says she is a devout christian and will never drink or do drugs again. She says she speaks in tongues when she talks to god. I believe she does this to get attention. She traded one addiction for another. When she was a junkie we would get calls at midnight from my boyfriends brother (she has lived with all three of her boys and we are the only ones who will let her live with us now)saying to come over quick because they think she died from drug overdoses. But when she would finally come to she would be crying saying she did it on purpose because her son and his wife went to dinner and didnt invite her. Crap like that. I dont think she believes to believe, I think she does it for attention.
    She is also very disgusting. And I mean pig dissgusting. I bake cupcakes and cakes for friends and coworkers. Well, whenever I buy icing she eats it. Right out of the can. With her finger. I went to the store and got Wilton icing (some of the best I have ever tried) and when I went to frost the cake there was 1/3 of the can left with her stubby finger marks in it. I had some icing left in piping bags to use later (properly sealed of coarse) and she had sucked all the icing out of all of them. I even hid my icing in an empty taco bell kit box and she got into it and ate all of that too. WHO THINKS TO LOOK IN A TACO BELL BOX TO FIND ICING?!?!? Then one day I was so fed up with her eating the leftovers that I buried them in the garbage can. When I came home from work I was curious and I looked through the garbage and she had eaten the icing. FROM THE F****** GARBAGE!
    She never helps around the house. She puts her dirty dishes in the sink and leaves them there until I breakdown and put them in the diswasher. Whenever I do laundry she will wait for me to start it and when I go into my room she sneaks in there and puts her clothes in so I will unknowingly do her laundry with mine. She leaves her dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. I went in her room one day to throw her dirty clothes on her bed and you could not see her floor it was so gross in there. Im talking about garbage. There were so many mcdonalds and burger king bags in there you couldnt see the floor. GROSS. She is just disgusting all around. Me and my boyfriend havebeen fighting constantly because if I say something or get upset he blows up. I am so in love with him but sometimes I just want to leave him.
    She’s only 45 but she looks like shes 60. She has like 4 teeth (because of drug use) She will not eat in front of us. She waits until we go to sleep and then she sneaks in the kitchen and eats all of our food. She picks through our scraps of food leftover from dinner. Our grocery bill has doubled since she has moved in. Our electric bill has doubled. We buy cartons of cigarettes (they are cheaper) and my carton will last me 2-3 weeks and a carton will last a week for my boyfriend. If there are cigarettes in the house she will smoke them and wont pay for her own so I stopped buying cartons of smokes. I wish she would move out but she doesnt have a job because she says shesnot getting one bc she has no teeth and its embarrassing. She has no car either so I have to take her everywhere. If I want to go to the store by myself I have to sneak out. And I mean I cant make a single noise or she will shoot out of her room and say shes going too. She constantly trash talks her other kids and their wives but is a suck up when they are there. Her youngest son recently startedmaking alot of money so she says all kinds of good things about him when he buys her stuff or takes her to dinner but as soon as the effect wears off its back to trash talking. Ive hadenough. Someone should create a place where you could put your mooching inlaws or parents. Oh wait they have. RETIREMENT HOME!!


  56. My sis-in-law thinks that she is my husbands mother. His real mother has been dead for several years. Also his father is dead also. I can’t stand her nasty,stinking butt. She just irritates me to the fullest. sometimes I want to just sock her in the mouth, but i say to myself why? is she worth it? I try to tell my husband that he needs to tell his family to mind there business. I also tell him that if your family means you no good then why do you pput up with them? All they are doing is bringing you down. she is jealous of what we have. We have a house, 3 cars,money and a good relationship. Andour children are well behaved. I just want to choke her, she calls my house and spmetimes she won’t speak, so i just hang up until she can speak. She is always causing problems. I just want her out of my life and my husbands life.

  57. i have been with my partner for over 2 years now and from the very start his sister has tried to break us up in anyway possible. we moved to a different state to get away from her constant bitchy attitude and her many failed attempts to break us up – and now from time to time she sends abusive emails and txt messages, she makes up lies that her mum or grandma are in hospital and they want to speak to my partner – but he wants nothing to do with them anymore – he’s told them that but his stupid sister carol doesn’t get it – she still keeps accusing me of taking him away from her and the rest of the family – I wish she’d leave us alone – she’s so evil and heartless, she acts like a jealous ex and it makes me sick. I hope she disappears because we’ve had enough of her BS. I haven’t seen a nice side to any of my partners family – their racist and cruel – his sister is the biggest liar, she tries to compete with me in his life – he has told her to leave us alone and never to call again but she still does. She’s a psycho and in need of mental therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!

  58. My sister-in-law is insane. She never got married and is trying to live her dream through my life. On my weeding day, she snuck into our private room at the reception and opened all our gifts. She contradicts me in front of my daughter all the time. On halloween she caled my husband screaming because she wanted to be the one to take my kid trick or treating.

    She bought a house two years ago and doesnt even live in it. She sleeps during the week with her parents and then forces them to sleep at her house on weekends because she doesnt want to be alone. She has personally blamed me for taking her brother away from her. I wish she would talk to her and put her in her place, but he doesnt want to hurt her feelings and says I should just pity her. But all I want to do is strangle her.

  59. very simple: I have a live-in middle eastern muslim MIL and I married number 4 of 5 boys she had…just got her greencard and plans to intrude upon our life for 6mos out of every yr. she’s handicapped being that she’s too obese to walk like a human and speaks with a pseudo beggar’s tone all day long, talks to herself and demands to be heard when she is talking to herself all day, complains about everything in life and enforces her own religious ethos on us. all this and i have to be the good little house wife who smiles and nods. so don’t tell me how screwed you are. i wish i could send her with a one way ticket to baghdad.

  60. WOW… I see many of you have the same problems i’m having with my Mega Bitch, Crazy ass, crack head Mother in law… Infact it’s her children too. When they say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… Thats Soooo true. The best advice I could give anyone is be sure to check out your potential spouses family before getting too far invloved and if its too late like in my case… Well I guess youd be here too looking how to “get rid of in laws” I’ll probably be taking the last bit of advice now which is get divorced as I have literally tried everything else. Just like me you deserve to be happy with peace in your home the old bitter bitch lived her life and needs to let you live yours.

  61. My mother-in-law is HITLER. She inturrupts my discussions with my common-law and corrects the way I am speaking to him. She comes between us when we are getting close. She comes over to our house and rearranges everything the way SHE wants it. We don’t have children (thank god) but she comes over and sprays her STINKY OLD LADY PERFUME on MY CATS (my babies) so that they SMELL LIKE HER. They crawl into bed with us and we have to smell HER! She will take things out of my hand ie ) a jar of honey while I’m cooking to do the recipe HER WAY at MY HOUSE. She introduces my common-law and I as “FRIENDS”. She has told us on many occasions that we “would make good friends”. She has had tantrums where she doesn’t speak to us (which I really enjoy actually) for weeks because I didn’t read her mind that she needed help in the kitchen when we were there for dinner. (Maybe I was avoiding her for good reason if you read above). I am very much in love with my partner however I am thinking about leaving him if he doesn’t get her out of our life. He’s an only child so that’s not exactly an option but he can’t stand her and always fights with her too. If she doesn’t leave our life, I’m going to have to leave. There is no way I’m marrying a man with a woman around like her…. I guess this is probably her plan (to get rid of me) but she’s going to make her son a lonely, lonely man if she treats everyone he’s with this way.

  62. I need to get my soon to be MIL as far away from me as possible. She is an ugly old bag with evil mole eyes that look at you behind big thick bottle bottom glasses. Shes a very manipulating person. She comes across as a ‘nice’ cheerful person but she is more than that I know. Shes a drama queen about everything and trys to manipulate every situation to suit her using the old ‘woe is me’ trick. All her other children want nothing to do with her so she’s picking on my fiance because he hasn’t learnt at all how manipulating she is. She acts like shes dumb or unaware of the things she does but she cant be that dumb all the time. once she butted in on an arguement my partner and me were having and told me to shut up…well I just let rip and told her to stfu. Well she started to fake cry and went all dramatic and told him to stop the car and she got out and ran off down the street. Well my partner fell for that and started abusing and assulting me and told me to get out of the car and smashed my mobile so I couldnt call the police or a taxi and pushed me onto a main road and said he hoped I would get hit by a bus. Well I was just gob smacked. then she came back without a tear in her mole eyes and told him to let me in the car and take me home. when i got back i was hysterical as you can imagine. I was so upset I was getting pains from my chest to my arm and all the time she was in another room with my partner all happy! I heard her laughing and having a grand old time. She must of loved the fact my partner sided with her and thought nothing of what i had just gone through. Shes done other things like that like when I told her not to excite my dog (she acts like shes some sort of affinity with dogs) because he was being disobedient and not coming back when I call him. She went all sulky and went to her room to sulk later on that day she needed directions to get somewhere and i offered to get a map for her and she just looked at me with her twisted ugly old face and slammed the door in my face. She done other stuff like that when no-one else is around. Shes like jackel and hyde. Now shes moving country to come and ‘settle down’ near my partner to be in his life. its really annoying every single time she has visited and stayed with us there has been an arguement. Either with my partner or myself. She just does as she pleases and doesnt ask if thats what I want or even offers to do what she does she just says shes gonna do it and she does and if you tell her otherwise she either fake crys or sulks and creates a sh*t atmosphere. She once told my partner I shouldnt be allowed near his child as she saw me smack my dog once (i dont make a habit of hitting any animal but my dog was being disobedient because she was exciting him, he growled at me so I smacked him on the backside because he has never done that to me before)I just dont like the woman she is trouble with a capital T. Wherever she is theres an arguement always. I wish she would go find herself a man who will put up with her and get a decent shagging off him then maybe she’ll f**k off somewhere else. I seriusly get sick with worry when I know shes coming to visit. Now shes gonna be in my face 24/7 i know.

  63. My MIL is a fat bully, she has to inturrupt in everthing i do.says thigs without thinking infront of whom she is saying that.She does not let me decide for my son, which i still do, by ptting my foot down, but the repurcussions are bad.She tortures me mentally all the time. We stay together, and her husband, my father in law does not stay wid she does not let me and my husband spend time together, alwayas hovers around and tell peple about the details of our relationship in public. She is a big bitch and manipulator, lies, makes stories, fill relatives with things against us.Passes snide comments all the time. Directing towards my family, parents, hate her, want to get rid of her. She is the worst thing happened to me ever in my life.

  64. I also have the same problem . I just want to get rid of my mother-in -law. She always starts checking immediately-whether I have given fruits/food to my husbadn. I dont know what’s bothering her. Kepps on checking for each and everything. Idiot MIL, GOD bless me-she moves out of my house ASAP. She’s a big torture and mindless lady. Doesn’t allow my husband and me to be happy. Her daughter is very happy in US. it is enough for her.

  65. All monster-in-laws are same…a bunch of trouble creating bitches. My MIL is not behind, she wants us to get divorced and she tried so many times and now I am pregnant she is trying to make me unhappy and effect my baby. That idiot wants that me and my baby to suffer and wants my husbands money. She insults me and my parents and she is the most evil person I have ever seen in my life. I think when she will die even the lord of hell will throw her out of the hell.

  66. My mother in law has 5 kids and instead of asking her kids to do anything for her, I get the duties of taking her to work, the doctors, grocery shopping and anything else her evil little hear desires. If she wants to go somewhere @6am she comes and knocks on my window at 5am. She never ask her daughters to take her anywhere but I get to be the taxi. To top things off at my husbands last family renunion she was talking about me to all of his family with me sitting across the way from her, she was saying what a bitch I was and that she hoped I didnt have any more kids with her husband. I wish the old witch would die!!!

  67. Oh its all the same in world , having almost every single problem described above, i think only way 2 get rid of MILs is 2 take a bold step and tell them 2 leave ur house or u yor self move away. althogh i couldnt find any use ful tip but its so relaxing 2 talk 2 u and read which i even cant share with my own mother. thx all may all ur problems b gone even before u read

  68. To the men: grow a pair and let go of mommy’s apron strings, you didn’t marry your mother. to the women: stop airing your dirty laundry outside the home, what goes on in your household is none of your parent’s business. and finally, three words packed with unmistakable meaning and leaving little room for interpretation: FORSAKING ALL OTHERS. nuff said.

  69. I am on day 12 of the siege of my in-laws living with us. My wife just loves them so she doesn’t see the turmoil and invasion of privacy they engender. My tactic is to say as little as possible to them and try not to look them in the eyes. I wear a ball cap so I can function without having to expose my retinas to their hulking masses. 3 more days and they’ll e out of my feeding trough and my hotel for vagrant obese smelly mooching in-laws.

  70. My mother inlaw is a few french frys short of a happy meal, her and my father inlaw called the police on my girlfriend twice while she was pregnant with our first child their first grandchild because my girlfriend wouldnt leave me and move back home to them and its all because they are jealous that me at 25yrs old and my girlfriend 22yrs old already own our home and are doing good in life and they live in a garage thats been converted into an apartment and work at jack in the box instead of being happy and celebrating the near arrivel of their grand kid they call the cops all mad>>THE ONLY TIP I CAN GIVE THAT WORKED FOR ME IS TOO CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOR 6-12 MONTHS AND LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE AN ADULT WHO CAN FEND FOR YOURSELVES AND YOU DONT NEED THEM IN YOUR LIFE IF THEY ARE JUST GONNA BE NEGATIVE JUST MAKE SURE YOUR SPOUSE AGREES AND IS ON THE SAME PAGE WITH YOU OUR IT WILL NEVER WORK, THE KEY IS TO STAND AS ONE WITH YOUR PARTNER.

  71. Hello My Ugly MotherinLaw Lol Lord Forgive Me Is A FAKE OLD WOMAN! She Is Down Right Stupid! She Has Like 20 Grandcildern That She Doesnt See Or Call! She Kicked All Them Out Of Her Life What Kinda Of Grandmother And Mother That Is! Also She Talks All This Crap About How Sweet She Is! Ugh Such A Lie She Does Good Things So It Wont Look Bad On Her Part! Deep Down Inside She Really Doesnt Want To Do It! I Can Read Her Well! It Just Took Me A While To See!! She Better Stay Out My Face And Watch Her Mouth Cause She Will Have It From Me!! Ugh I Wish I Had A Real Down To Earth Cool Motherinlaw And PRETTY Thats A Plus! Lol Well Good Luck To Yall! I Stay Away From Her As Much As I Can I Dont Call Her Or Anything! Give Her A Taste Of Her OWN MEDICINE!!! 😉 Bahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

  72. My in laws moved from another state to mooch. Both are disabled and draw minimal social security. Not to menti9on they smoke 4 backs a day between the 2 of them. After draining us for a month they finally got the check and I be damned a week later they were asking me to buy cigarettes again. My wife is a stay at home parent. I told her if she wanted to keep giving money too them she had to get a job. If not, I was moving away from all of them. We will see how it goes.

  73. I am just RELIEVED to know that there are so many out there that CAN. NOT. STAND. their in-laws! I’m only engaged right now and this bitch of a MIL is ruining everything despite how much she ‘supports’ us. She is an under-educated, thin-skinned, overly emotional, very superstitious old woman who wants to act like she’s a child! And while she’s like that, she looks down on me. There has to be something about me that she resents with how she talks about me, but I’m not a bad influence, I would never cheat, I have no dangerous habits or addictions, I come from a healthy loving family and I am a hard worker. Not only has my fiancé has told me times before that she’s alluded to me being “loose” (which is SO far from the truth) shes even SAID that B.S. to my face. It’s all in her damn head, I haven’t DONE OR SAID anything ever to give her that impression, unless her mind just flips reality. Oh, but there was that one time where she thought my eyeshadow had “suspiciously too much glitter” when I was hardly wearing any in a light color. (and regardless, glitter is commonly added on tons of cosmetics, so being on a female is not a sure-fire smoking gun for anything like she thinks.)

    I’ve tried to be civil but she always manages to always say just the wrong thing…somethings gotta give. My fiancé loves her enough, but she drives him nuts living with him, so I’m hoping it’s not going to be us THREE after marriage. The ideal age I wanted to have a kid was 28…but I’m certainly feeling like waiting until I know she’s not fit to babysit/hold/take care of any child I have in the future. That could be seen as a sort of punishment to her, but protecting my possible offspring is a higher priority.

    I could swear he was switched at birth.

  74. I know I am not as old as the rest of you, being only 18, however my problem is still quite similar. I fell in love years ago with a perfect boy and his perfect family, the only problem is once he began to date me he began to mentaly abuse me, until he dumped me at the worst time possible. My current boyfriend picked up the peices and I have been with him ever since that day. We love each other very much and plan on getting married after college, the only problem being his father hates me already. He believes that women are weak and should be silent, and never seen. At every corner he makes life difficult for me and my boyfriend mostly by critizing me. So far he has called me a slut (I have only ever had one other boyfriend in my life and was still a virgin at the time), accused me of stealing away his son, told his son that I am only ever going to get pregnant (that ended after I sent him the medical records that say I am steril), and he continues to point out that I am not of the right ethnic background. I feel sorry for him to be honest, he tries so hard to make his son and I miserable that he is going to loose both of us and end up alone at this rate. My method of dealing with him is simple, avoid at all costs and halt every rumor he starts with proof and a smile. Plus an overdose of sympathy to make him squirm a bit, but that is just my mean streak showing.

  75. I have serious sister in-law problems, I have a complicated but beautiful relationship with my husband which I won’t get into but he has a large Italian family (Mother has passed away) of five sisters and a brother…they drive me crazy.!!!! One of the sister in laws is violent and has threatened to kick my ass, another has gone up one side me and down the other for reasons that are none of her business or just plain ridiculous (like I didn’t offer to make a hotdog for them when I made one for myself when they were here for like 3 days.) Another is just plain neurotic and one other has an argument with me over nothing every time she is in town. And thankfully – there is one that is wonderful..phew.. I ended up seeing a counseller and straitening out what I need to do with her…I let my husband know that I am moving for sure to the other side of the country because I can’t handle the continuous drama that they bring to our life…I let him know that unfortunately this was not negotiable. He thankfully agreed. I will be moving and he will wrap things up here and follow me a few months later. Our life is already better for having made this decision…I had to grow some balls myself and get this done. When you have toxic people in your life you just have to let them go..I know they will still call and keep in touch, but they can’t hurt me as much when they are far far away! I am so looking forward to this move I can’t tell you…and so is my husband. Phew..It was hard to do – but I did it! and I didn’t have to divorce my wonderful husband, although I would have if he didn’t agree to come. I’ve given up too much to make peace with these people and it is NOT MY FAULT that they can’t do the same.

  76. I don’t know where to start. When my husband and i met, everything was perfect. The in laws loved me and I loved them. My husband had a business but it was not doing well. I advised him to close it and we’ve open a new one. Things went well; we bought a car, a house and some other material things. This didn’t go well with the in laws (aunts in law) as they were the ones who were respected in the family because of their status and money.

    We’ve helped his mom to build a house as she is very poor. At first, he didn’t respect his mom. He looked at her as inferior (the aunts didn’t even respect her, their own sister) and when I was in the picture, things changed. His mom was very supportive to me and helping me with the children and we had a good relationship until I had a heart to heart with one of the aunts.

    I was tired of scheming and gossiping about me. She even organised a woman to seduce my husband but lucky enough, my sister in law told us. There so many stories she did. After that heart to heart drama, they asked my husband to choose between his family and me (they said I’m an outsider). Well, they did not win. They even teld me when and how I should have babies. The controlling was too much and my lovely husband sees nothing wrong with their behaviour.

    At some point in time I had to involve my parents. The “respected” aunt was swearing at my mom and things got ugly until I lost control, chasing them away from my house. My mom in law said in that meeting she can’t choose me between her sisters and me. I didn’t expect her to do that and I don’t understand why she has to choose. She has a house, furniture and a business and all thanks to me. They said I’m expecting my mom in law to be loyal to me because of what we’ve done for her and my answer was “If I do things to empower another person with a clean heart, it’s not me who is doing those things. It’s God using me and he will bless me”. I’ve helped so many people in the family to get jobs and sometimes host some charity events in the community. One aunt told me that I think I’m better because I’m light skinned, beautiful, working, has a successful career, can cook, people love me and married. To me this was pure jealousy, I didn’t respond because I know how acting by feelings does.

    The scary part now is that mom in law joined the team. My helper and my brother saw her pouring some stuff under my bed and sheet and when they confronted her. She told some stories and when my husband confronted her, she said I’m lying. I’m trying to get between him and her. The same people (aunts) who turned her against me are the same people who let her starve without food and electricity in her house. She will call us for food after everything that has happened and I will buy food for her but now, I’m done with this family.

    My problem is that I came with a clean heart in this family without leaving a room for disappointment and they’ve used me. When I told them that we should have boundaries (I need an approval from them to visit my parents), they showed their true colours. My husband was choosing their side until we went to marriage counselling and things got better between me and him. They even told him that I will kill him one day for his money. What money? We’ve worked together to be where we are.

    I’m done with those people and I need to pray hard because now they are using evil spirit to separate us!

  77. I am a 23 year old college student. My wife and I got engaged while we were both active duty military and we decided the best thing for our relationship was for me to get out of the military and go to college. We got married Feb. 2012 and in march my wife deployed. She came home in October and we finally got our first home together. In December 2012 her 12 year old brother came to live with us because her father could not take care of him. Now both the FIL and BIL both live with us and have lived with us for the past 8 months. Since they moved in we have had police over at our house countless times because they fight, the FIL is 47 and the biggest man child I have ever met. When people ask us if we have kids I tell them we have a 13 year old and a 47 year old. The FIL is a drunk and got a DUI 2 months ago, my wife can’t leave work to take him places so I have gotten stuck driving him around. I spend about 3 to 4 hours a day driving him to and from work and other places he needs to go. This has truly started to interrupt my college work and has become a serious problem. My wife and I agreed that school would be the number one priority for me and yet she can’t say no to them. She agrees that our relationship is suffering because they live with us but wont make them leave. I can’t make them leave with out putting some serious hurt on our marriage and can’t have them living with us. Should I be a jerk and kick them out for the sake of our relationship or stand back and watch them ruin everything we have worked o hard for?

  78. HI……i just wanted to say…that my inlaws interfere in my personal matter very much……….even they use abusive language for my parents and even me……and my hubby can’t say anything as he is the youngest among all 3 brother and sister…… inlaws need that i foolow their rules and regulation………which are very…………..irritating……….and i want to get rid of from them …………so please suggest what to do…………as they are very aggressive………they even don’t talk without abusing me………..

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