Jealousy is like a poison. We’ve all been down that road. It is difficult to avoid the moments in life where we can’t help but feel down on ourselves. More often than not, this feeling comes from that sensation of envy that we tend to experience when we take a look at other people’s “better” lives, appearances, successes, and so on.
Sometimes we compare our lives to others even if this unrealistic. Take, for example, a famous celebrity. Being exposed to his or her attractiveness and wealth can make you feel inferior in comparison. Jealousy has the potential to hinder our overall happiness and potential in life. It can ruin relationships, friendships, and our overall sense of confidence. Here are some tips to consider when you are trying to get rid of jealousy.
1. Remember the keys to confidence.
Many of us aren’t born with confidence. It takes years of practice to find a feeling of self-assurance, but it is certainly possible. Try following the ‘fake it till you make it’ method. If you make these steps a part of your routine, they will eventually become natural to you. If you feel confident in yourself, you are less likely to feel inferior to others.
Try standing up straight, and appear ‘approachable’ to others: avoid crossed arms and legs. You want to be inviting, so be sure to look others straight in the eye.
Remember to smile. Even if it isn’t real at first, a smile can send positive vibes out to those around you. These vibes in turn just might uplift your own mood. You should also learn to laugh at yourself. Experiencing something embarrassing could be your worst nightmare. However, if you learn to laugh it off, you will soon realize that you are able to handle anything. Everyone makes mistakes! Don’t let these mistakes get you down.
2. Don’t compare yourself.
Comparison is the most significant aspect of jealousy. If you are able to avoid comparing yourself to others, you will experience a new-found sense of freedom.
A good way to judge this is by valuing imperfection. Use your flaws as a learning experience, rather than as a chance to make you feel bad. We are all constantly growing and improving throughout our lives—there is value in failure.
Be sure to remember and accept that everyone is different (and that this is a good thing). Variety keeps life interesting! The grass always seems greener on the other side. The person that you are jealous of has likely experienced feelings of inferiority just as often as you have.
A good way to pinpoint your jealous feelings is to write down why you are comparing yourself to this person. The written word inspires reflection, and will help point you towards an answer or a solution to your jealousy. Remember that you can never change who you are. If you spend your life wishing to be someone else, you are doing yourself a great disservice.
3. Think positively.
When you are feeling down, remind yourself of your positive qualities. If it helps, write them down and read them over for a quick pick-me-up. Reflecting on what you do well puts your life into perspective, which is always a plus!
A positive spin can be placed on almost anything that you may see as a negative event or quality can. Does the person that you have feelings for has feelings for someone else, for instance? Don’t get jealous of this person. Realise and accept that you and your crush were not meant to be and that someone better is going to fall into your life eventually, or just enjoy the perks of the single-life. There is almost always a way to find a positive angle.
4. Get rid of toxic people and things.
Avoid ‘following’ people who make you feel jealous on social media websites. “Unfollow” Kim Kardashian on Instagram. You don’t need to know about her new $10,000 accessory. If influences like these are out of sight, they will eventually be out of mind.
Try your best to avoid media that shows an ‘idealized’ version of beauty. This is very difficult to do, but it is a necessary step. If exposed to such mediums despite your effort to avoid them, just remember that this is only a single (and very narrow) outlook, and that there is no need to internalize these ideals.
If there is someone in your life who brings you down (especially if it is intentional), talk to them about how their actions make you feel. If they do not change their ways, you may have to cut them out completely for the benefit of your own happiness.
5. Find an outlet for negative feelings.
Negative feelings can be turned into something productive if gone about in the right way. As suggested previously, when you are feeling jealous, write it down. You can make these experiences it into art through writing, and you will likely experience a feeling of release in the process.
Put your negative energy into self-improvement. If you are jealous of someone’s physique, dedicate time to join a gym. Make the decision to lead a healthier lifestyle. For example, exercise is a great way to channel negativity into something of value that is healthy for you at the same time.
6. Realize that you have control over your own life.
Most of us have things that we wish we could change. Some things we are forced to accept. However, most of the things that people tend to feel jealous about you can in fact change in a healthy way. If you feel jealous of someone else’s accomplishments, use this as motivation to work harder at achieving your own goals.
Just remember, if the change you want to make is a healthy one, go for it. Use the feelings of jealousy as motivation to improve yourself. This way, you will no longer feel the need to compare yourself to those around you.
The feeling of jealousy is something we have all faced at some point in our lives. No matter how ‘perfect’ someone’s life may seem from the outside looking in, chances are that they have experienced jealousy of someone else as well in their lifetime. Who knows—someone who is rich, famous, and beautiful may be jealous of your simpler lifestyle. Just remember that confidence in yourself is the first step to overcoming jealousy. If you feel good about yourself, you will feel no need to compare your own life to those of others around you. Good luck, and remember that getting rid of jealousy is a process: it will not happen overnight. However, when you do reach confidence, you will attain a sense of freedom you may have never thought possible.