Posted on: February 26, 2009 Posted by: Nicole Harding Comments: 1

Who has time for someone who ruins the party? It doesn’t matter what party it is, these kinds of people have a unique way of turning any event sour in a matter of minutes. If you are dealing with someone who is against having fun, hates happiness, and doesn’t enjoy the company of others, you have yourself a certified killjoy on your hands. Chances are they are boring individuals who are against anything that isn’t ‘normal’ and they might even rat you out for doing something that you maybe shouldn’t have. Getting rid of a killjoy doesn’t have to be difficult. Follow these steps to find out how!

1. Don’t invite them out.

One of the most efficient ways to get rid of a killjoy is quite simple: don’t give them the time of day. Don’t invite them to whatever event that you are planning.

Whether you are going clubbing, out at the movies, going for a drive, or simply hanging out at a friend’s place, your killjoy will find a way to ruin the mood and irritate everyone around them. Killjoys are difficult because they might not only ruin a night, but they can also ruin your relationships with your other friends who are actually fun. Whoever invites the killjoy along might become responsible for their actions, and might even be seen as killjoys themselves!

Chances are high that you don’t want to babysit this person for the entire night. If you invited them, you also don’t want to have to focus on what they are doing or how they are behaving for the entire evening. You would rather be enjoying yourself, of course! If they aren’t there to cause trouble, you can easily go about your evening.

2. Confront the killjoy.

Perhaps you feel bad about getting rid of a killjoy, especially if they are a friend or family member of yours. Why not try confronting them about the nature of their ways instead?

It can be rather cruel to shun someone and shut them out entirely, especially if you have not given them any real reason as to why you are doing so. Sit this person down one on one, or do so in a group setting, and explain what your issues are. Of course, you don’t want to seem like you are ganging up on this person. This isn’t an intervention for a drug problem, after all!

Explain to this person that you or your group of friends have trouble enjoying certain kinds of evenings when they are around. If they are a reasonable person, they will hopefully understand that their behaviour is negatively influencing those around them. This will cause them to lighten up and have a little more fun themselves, or stop coming to these events where they are causing issues.

3. Find some common ground.

If this killjoy is your friend or family member, and you want to remain on good terms with them, see if you can find some common ground for activities that you both enjoy.

Chances are your killjoy doesn’t like staying up until the crack of dawn partying, or doing any activities that the law might frown upon, or doing anything that involves groups of people. Some people are highly introverted by nature, but they still like to have fun. Their definition of fun is just different than what others would say.

Ask the killjoy what their definition of a good night would be. Maybe they enjoy movie marathons, sports, going out for dinner, or exercise. If any of their options sound like a good time to you, then why not try having a night focused on these activities?

Finding common ground is a great way to get rid of a killjoy. By doing activities that they actually want to do, they don’t have the opportunity to complain about how much fun they wish they were having. If you also explain to them why you don’t like going to the bar with them or doing any other activities that they are ruining for you, hopefully they will learn when their presence is appreciated, and when it would be better for them to stay home (or at least help them to understand why they were not invited).

4. Stop talking to them.

Some killjoys are simply miserable people, regardless of your best efforts to get rid of them. If you don’t even enjoy the company of this person, why are they still in your life? Sometimes family members can be killjoys, in which case this might be slightly more difficult. But it is not impossible, of course!

Killjoys are naturally difficult to converse with because they can be so negative most of the time, and don’t contribute anything productive to a conversation. If this sounds like someone you know in your life, it is high time that you did something proactive to change this around!

Don’t give a killjoy the upper hand, or you will never get rid of them. If a killjoy is killing the vibes, try to avoid including them in conversation, and they will hopefully see sooner than later that their presence is a burden.

5. Shut them out entirely.

If you want nothing to do with this person ever again, you can try shutting them out entirely. Avoiding any discussion with a killjoy is a good start, but the next stage is to pretend they are invisible. Killjoys are people too, of course, so you don’t want to make them feel miserable. But if they don’t belong, they don’t belong!

Why waste your energy trying to convince a killjoy that the event you are at is a good time when you could simply enjoy the event for what it is? Have yourself a great night and don’t worry about what they think or what they want to do. They have likely killed an evening in the past, so don’t let them kill this one as well!

When a killjoy tries to motion you over or talk to you at a loud bar, for instance, you can always pretend that you couldn’t hear them or see them. You can also make an excuse like going to the bathroom or ordering another drink so that you can escape their company.

Don’t lose another night or weekend of your life for the sake of someone else. Regain your sense of adventure and reconnect with your friends who like to kick back and have a good time. Explain to the killjoy in your life why you can’t spend as much time with them anymore, or why you can only see them in specific settings. If this doesn’t work, you can always shut them out. This should hopefully get rid of a killjoy for good.

1 people reacted on this

  1. Um, Okay, this is probably the worst advice I’ve seen on this website. The whole section on “finding her allergies, and adding them into a food”. I’d consider that an invasion of privacy, and god-forbid the actually do that they could go into respiratory arrest and die. AKA murder. I’d like it if this article was taken down.

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